Bunnyboo🫶🏼
Disciple of Prayer
Hi, I feel like I’ve hit the lowest point in my life. I’m still trying to find a job; each place I apply to sends me an email saying they are not hiring at this time, even though I have called said places and asked in advance. I don’t want to live in my friends’ home and not help out, you know? I don’t ask for their food because I know they are already struggling; they give me money to be able to buy little things like McDonald’s or go to 7/11, and I’m so thankful for them because if not, I would be on the streets like the homeless I walk by and think to myself how it could be me. I am literally them but got lucky enough to have a place to stay.
As for toiletries and stuff, I have my little supply, which is running low, but I’m okay. I just wish I could get hired somewhere. I even went to a job help place, but no call back. On top of that, my girlfriend broke up with me due to her thinking I wasn’t being faithful. I had a second TikTok account which had 0 followers/following. I told her weeks before about it and said because I use it when I’m sad and I overthink, I repost a bunch of the sad stuff, you know, when you’re sad and somehow TikTok knows so it shows a bunch of sad videos on your timeline. Like that, well, she assumed I was cheating. I showed her my phone; I went through everything. I mean, I really don’t talk to anybody but her and my friend. When she broke up with me, I texted her mom (I don’t know if it was the right thing to do or not). Forgive me, Lord, for bringing another person into our relationship problems. I just told her everything I had felt because that night I was crying so bad to the point where I couldn’t breathe. I had been in this relationship with a person whom I love so much and wouldn’t jeopardize it, yet she would call me all these names, b word, 3-letter word starts with h, and two-faced b word constantly & would say stuff out of anger or ignore me when she got mad at me. Not talk to me for days and say it was my fault. Now I never did this to her or with ill intentions. So I told her mom and sent screenshots. Was it wrong of me for doing so? I have no idea, but I got blocked by said gf, so I assume we are no longer together, and it hurts because I didn’t even say anything bad about her at the end of the message. I said I still love her and I wasn’t okay with being treated this way. I know most of you reading have probably been in some horrible relationships and would never wish that feeling on your kids or future kids/siblings/friends or relatives, but ever since I moved closer to her 3 hrs away, every night I had been crying for how she treated me and I let it because I was willing to put up with it like that’s the person I want to marry. Some of you argue with your spouse and still together, and I think it’s beautiful, so I was willing to put up with it, but do I deserve it? No, nobody does.
I spent the night crying out to God and asking him, like, please give me a sign because I’m tired of not finding a job; every place I go to, they turn me down. My relationship is in shambles, and I cried it to him. Have you not promised for my life to be good? (I know it might have complications, but he himself said I shall not go without things are needed.) There I was crying, bawling, not breathing, heart heavy, and I started watching Monsters Inc. to calm me down, and there was this one scene where a monster gets a kid’s sock stuck in his back, so they shout 23:19. I looked up 23:19 as a Bible verse, and here’s what came up: Numbers 23:19 in the Bible says, "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should repent; has he said, and will he not do it? or has he spoken, and will he not make it good?" Then I listened to this to help me sleep: Job 1-42/finding strength in tough times - YouTube by Christ warriors (I would post a link but don’t think it will let me). As I was listening, I was reflecting and felt similar to the story. Have I done something to offend God? Is that why I am struggling so much? Did he leave me to the enemy? I asked for a sign, then today I went to the grocery store with my friends’ cousin to buy stuff for the house, and I saw a man in a grey outfit, jacket, a grey fitted cap, and he was walking past us. He had this black journal on him, and on the journal, bold letters spelling out the words gratitude. When I tell you it felt as if I was seeing the letters out in slow motion. Then after that, he quickly exited the store; he was holding nothing but the journal, like he just came in to show me that. So now I am just wondering why I’m supposed to do with gratitude? And does prayer really work? Does God hear our prayers? If so, how does it help? How do I start praying to him daily so he, in his greatness, will make my struggles my testimony and help me?
Also, I really miss my gf, but I know God was probably looking down at me for missing somebody who would call me those words or choose to ignore me.
As for toiletries and stuff, I have my little supply, which is running low, but I’m okay. I just wish I could get hired somewhere. I even went to a job help place, but no call back. On top of that, my girlfriend broke up with me due to her thinking I wasn’t being faithful. I had a second TikTok account which had 0 followers/following. I told her weeks before about it and said because I use it when I’m sad and I overthink, I repost a bunch of the sad stuff, you know, when you’re sad and somehow TikTok knows so it shows a bunch of sad videos on your timeline. Like that, well, she assumed I was cheating. I showed her my phone; I went through everything. I mean, I really don’t talk to anybody but her and my friend. When she broke up with me, I texted her mom (I don’t know if it was the right thing to do or not). Forgive me, Lord, for bringing another person into our relationship problems. I just told her everything I had felt because that night I was crying so bad to the point where I couldn’t breathe. I had been in this relationship with a person whom I love so much and wouldn’t jeopardize it, yet she would call me all these names, b word, 3-letter word starts with h, and two-faced b word constantly & would say stuff out of anger or ignore me when she got mad at me. Not talk to me for days and say it was my fault. Now I never did this to her or with ill intentions. So I told her mom and sent screenshots. Was it wrong of me for doing so? I have no idea, but I got blocked by said gf, so I assume we are no longer together, and it hurts because I didn’t even say anything bad about her at the end of the message. I said I still love her and I wasn’t okay with being treated this way. I know most of you reading have probably been in some horrible relationships and would never wish that feeling on your kids or future kids/siblings/friends or relatives, but ever since I moved closer to her 3 hrs away, every night I had been crying for how she treated me and I let it because I was willing to put up with it like that’s the person I want to marry. Some of you argue with your spouse and still together, and I think it’s beautiful, so I was willing to put up with it, but do I deserve it? No, nobody does.
I spent the night crying out to God and asking him, like, please give me a sign because I’m tired of not finding a job; every place I go to, they turn me down. My relationship is in shambles, and I cried it to him. Have you not promised for my life to be good? (I know it might have complications, but he himself said I shall not go without things are needed.) There I was crying, bawling, not breathing, heart heavy, and I started watching Monsters Inc. to calm me down, and there was this one scene where a monster gets a kid’s sock stuck in his back, so they shout 23:19. I looked up 23:19 as a Bible verse, and here’s what came up: Numbers 23:19 in the Bible says, "God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should repent; has he said, and will he not do it? or has he spoken, and will he not make it good?" Then I listened to this to help me sleep: Job 1-42/finding strength in tough times - YouTube by Christ warriors (I would post a link but don’t think it will let me). As I was listening, I was reflecting and felt similar to the story. Have I done something to offend God? Is that why I am struggling so much? Did he leave me to the enemy? I asked for a sign, then today I went to the grocery store with my friends’ cousin to buy stuff for the house, and I saw a man in a grey outfit, jacket, a grey fitted cap, and he was walking past us. He had this black journal on him, and on the journal, bold letters spelling out the words gratitude. When I tell you it felt as if I was seeing the letters out in slow motion. Then after that, he quickly exited the store; he was holding nothing but the journal, like he just came in to show me that. So now I am just wondering why I’m supposed to do with gratitude? And does prayer really work? Does God hear our prayers? If so, how does it help? How do I start praying to him daily so he, in his greatness, will make my struggles my testimony and help me?
Also, I really miss my gf, but I know God was probably looking down at me for missing somebody who would call me those words or choose to ignore me.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.