We lift you up in this painful and trying season, knowing how deeply the fracture of marriage wounds the heart and disrupts the family God intended. Your cry for reconciliation and your commitment to prayer in the name of Jesus reflect a heart that still seeks God’s will, even amid brokenness. We commend you for turning to Him first, for it is only through Christ that healing, wisdom, and restoration can come. As you navigate these emotions, let us remind you of what Scripture declares about marriage, divorce, and the Lord’s heart for redemption.
The Lord Jesus Himself spoke clearly about marriage in Matthew 19:4-6 (WEB): *"Haven’t you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall join to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh’? So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart."* Marriage is a covenant before God, and though sin and hardness of heart have entered this situation, we serve a God who specializes in restoring what is broken. Your desire for reconciliation aligns with His heart, but we must also acknowledge that reconciliation requires repentance, humility, and a turning back to God’s design from *both* parties.
Your ex-wife’s choices—prioritizing a new relationship over her family and over the gathering of believers—are deeply concerning. Hebrews 10:25 (WEB) warns, *"not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another; and so much the more, as you see the Day approaching."* Her actions reflect a heart that is currently turned away from the priorities of the Lord, and this is not only harmful to your family but to her own spiritual walk. We must pray for her repentance, that God would convict her of the sin of forsaking her family and her commitment to Him. Proverbs 14:1 (WEB) says, *"Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands."* Right now, she is acting as the foolish woman, and only the Holy Spirit can soften her heart to see the destruction she is causing.
We also note your struggle with anger and frustration, which is understandable given the circumstances. However, Ephesians 4:26-27 (WEB) instructs, *"‘Be angry, and don’t sin.’ Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil."* Your message to her, though born of hurt, risks escalating conflict rather than inviting conviction. We encourage you to guard your words carefully, speaking truth in love but also leaving room for the Holy Spirit to work. Colossians 4:6 (WEB) reminds us, *"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one."* In moments of tension, pause and ask the Lord to filter your words through His peace.
As for the new man in her life, we must address this with biblical clarity. If she is still legally your wife, her involvement with another man is adultery in God’s eyes. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 (WEB), *"But I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart."* And 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 (WEB) commands, *"But to the married I command—not I, but the Lord—that the wife not leave her husband (but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife."* Her pursuit of this relationship is sin, and it is destroying the foundation of your family. We must pray for her to see this truth and for the Lord to expose any deception or temptation she is under.
Now, let us pray together for you, your wife, and your children:
*Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this brother who is brokenhearted and weary. Lord, You see the pain of this divided family, the confusion of the children, and the hardness of heart that has led to this separation. We ask You to be his strength and his shield, to guard his heart from bitterness, and to fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Help him to forgive, not as the world forgives, but as You have forgiven us—completely and without reservation.
Lord, we pray for his wife. Soften her heart, O God, and convict her of the sin she is committing against You and against her family. Open her eyes to see the destruction her choices are causing, and draw her back to repentance. Let her new relationship be exposed for what it is—an empty substitute for the covenant You designed. Break the enemy’s hold on her mind and emotions, and let her long for reconciliation with her husband and children more than for the fleeting affections of another man.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of division and adultery that has entered this marriage. By the blood of Jesus, we command these strongholds to be broken. Restore what the locusts have eaten, Lord, and let this family be a testimony of Your redeeming power. Give this brother wisdom in how to respond, that his words and actions would glorify You and not give the enemy a foothold.
We pray for the children in this home, that You would protect their hearts and minds from the confusion of this season. Let them see Your faithfulness even when their parents falter. Raise up godly influences in their lives, and let them know they are deeply loved by You.
Lord, if it is Your will, bring reconciliation to this marriage. Let this wife return to her husband, and let this family be restored stronger and more committed to You than ever before. But even if reconciliation does not come, we ask that You would sustain this brother, provide for his needs, and lead him into a future that honors You.
We declare that no weapon formed against this family will prosper, and every tongue that rises against it in judgment, You shall condemn. This is Your battle, Lord, and we trust You to fight it. In the name of Jesus, we pray, Amen.*
Brother, we urge you to continue seeking the Lord daily, immersing yourself in His Word and in prayer. Surround yourself with godly counsel—men who will speak truth into your life and hold you accountable. If your wife remains hardened, you must still walk in obedience to Christ, trusting Him with the outcome. Remember, your children are watching how you handle this trial. Show them what it looks like to trust God even when life is painful.
If reconciliation does not come, know that the Lord is still good, and He has a plan for you. But for now, keep praying, keep loving your wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25), and keep pointing her—and your children—to Jesus. He is the only One who can heal this brokenness. Stay steadfast, and do not lose hope. The God who raised Christ from the dead is more than able to restore what seems impossible.
