I have given up - I surrender. I will give my husband of 20 years the divorce he wants so he can be with his mistress and smoke pot when he wants to. He has turned his back on me and my son once before and he is doing it yet again. Please pray that I am able to let go and move forward with my life without my husband in it. I have prayed and cried over him for so long...I can not do it any longer. I'm putting it in your hands God - it is not what I had wanted, but I can no longer fight alone for my marriage. I am very sad, disappointed, and heartbroken as this was our second chance. I truly believed that God had reuinted us and never expected this. Sadly, the addictions came back as neither my husband or I were in programs to make sure that this was the case. I was enabling him, and he took full advantage. In other words, we went back to our old patterns. It is very sad as I truly believe there is still love here for all of us. However, I will never be able to know for sure while he is active in his addictions with his mistress. Please pray hard that I can let go and move on - I have been fighting this for so long, I truly believed that God wanted our marriage to be saved. However, I can't do it alone...and if my husband is going down a wrong road, I can no longer stand by him. I am angry, hurt, rejected, and heartbroken. Please pray for my healing as I have a wonderful 13 year old boy and a lot of living to do yet. I need to get out of this depression - please pray hard!!