Lorlaimar
Disciple of Prayer
I am in need of desperate help in prayer. I don't know how long I can endure this pain...I really wish God will help me.
I have been with my husband for 14 years (11 years married). I have been suffering from a sexless marriage. I have been suffering from anxiety disorder and OCD (intrusive thoughts) since 2 years before marriage. I would often repeatedly ask him for assurance and if he still loved me or if he was still attracted to me - it might have been a turning point where it gradually pushed my husband away from me - my husband stopped yearning physical intimacy with me since 1 year before marriage. The lack of physical and emotional intimacy, and lack of affection from my husband worsened after marriage. My anxiety disorder also worsened as I kept getting rejected by my husband when I wanted intimacy. Thus I kept asking him repeated ridiculous questions and repeatedly asked him for assurance, and often asked him for affection. This in turn pushed my husband away further. It has been a vicious cycle. My husband has become emotionally avoidant and shut down. He would stonewall me and freeze whenever I talked to him about our marriage and emotional issues.
In general, we seldom quarrel, and live a normal routine life without much activities together and without him putting much efforts in making our marriage loving or healthy. He also plays PC or handphone games frequently especially when he feels stressed or when he is emotionally shutdown or avoidant.
Then recently I found out that he had been visiting paid sex services either alone or with his friends. I felt my world came crashing down when I realised that he would rather pay and have sex with other girls than to have physical intimacy with me. But I still love him, and am unable to let go or give up on our marriage even though we do not have kids.
Please pray for me...I am not a good or obedient Christian. And I sometimes have suicidal thoughts due to my anxieties, fear and hopelessness. But I really hope God will restore my marriage. Please pray for me and my husband, please pray that my husband will put in more active efforts to rebuild our marriage with me, to book and attend marriage counselling sessions regularly with me. Please pray for my husband to rise and step out of emotional shutdown and avoidance, to stop escaping, to step up for me and our marriage, and come closer to me emotionally and physically. Please pray for my husband to love me truly and deeply. Please pray that God restores my marriage very soon - where my husband values me as his wife, puts in effort to be close to me, stays loyal, and shares emotional and physical connection enough for us to feel like true husband and wife again — where I feel wanted, loved, respected, and safe.
Also please pray for me to be healed completely from anxiety disorder, OCD and depression soon.
Thank you
I have been with my husband for 14 years (11 years married). I have been suffering from a sexless marriage. I have been suffering from anxiety disorder and OCD (intrusive thoughts) since 2 years before marriage. I would often repeatedly ask him for assurance and if he still loved me or if he was still attracted to me - it might have been a turning point where it gradually pushed my husband away from me - my husband stopped yearning physical intimacy with me since 1 year before marriage. The lack of physical and emotional intimacy, and lack of affection from my husband worsened after marriage. My anxiety disorder also worsened as I kept getting rejected by my husband when I wanted intimacy. Thus I kept asking him repeated ridiculous questions and repeatedly asked him for assurance, and often asked him for affection. This in turn pushed my husband away further. It has been a vicious cycle. My husband has become emotionally avoidant and shut down. He would stonewall me and freeze whenever I talked to him about our marriage and emotional issues.
In general, we seldom quarrel, and live a normal routine life without much activities together and without him putting much efforts in making our marriage loving or healthy. He also plays PC or handphone games frequently especially when he feels stressed or when he is emotionally shutdown or avoidant.
Then recently I found out that he had been visiting paid sex services either alone or with his friends. I felt my world came crashing down when I realised that he would rather pay and have sex with other girls than to have physical intimacy with me. But I still love him, and am unable to let go or give up on our marriage even though we do not have kids.
Please pray for me...I am not a good or obedient Christian. And I sometimes have suicidal thoughts due to my anxieties, fear and hopelessness. But I really hope God will restore my marriage. Please pray for me and my husband, please pray that my husband will put in more active efforts to rebuild our marriage with me, to book and attend marriage counselling sessions regularly with me. Please pray for my husband to rise and step out of emotional shutdown and avoidance, to stop escaping, to step up for me and our marriage, and come closer to me emotionally and physically. Please pray for my husband to love me truly and deeply. Please pray that God restores my marriage very soon - where my husband values me as his wife, puts in effort to be close to me, stays loyal, and shares emotional and physical connection enough for us to feel like true husband and wife again — where I feel wanted, loved, respected, and safe.
Also please pray for me to be healed completely from anxiety disorder, OCD and depression soon.
Thank you