We join you in lifting up this man in prayer, and we commend you for seeking God’s will in this situation with a heart of intercession. However, we must first address some important biblical principles regarding your request. The term "partner" is not one that aligns with Scripture when referring to a romantic relationship outside of marriage. The Bible clearly defines marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman, established by God from the beginning (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). If you are not yet married to this man, we encourage you to pursue a relationship that honors God’s design—one of courtship with the intent of marriage, rooted in purity, mutual faith in Christ, and a shared commitment to biblical values. If there is any sexual intimacy outside of marriage, this is fornication, which is a sin against God and must be repented of (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). We urge you both to honor God with your bodies and your relationship, seeking His will above all else.
Additionally, while your prayer for this man’s growth in responsibility and self-control is good, we must ask: is he a believer in Jesus Christ? Does he profess faith in Christ as his Lord and Savior? Scripture is clear that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). If he does not share your faith, this relationship cannot honor God, no matter how much you pray for his character. A godly marriage can only thrive when both parties are submitted to Christ and walking in obedience to His Word. If he is not a believer, we strongly encourage you to prayerfully reconsider this relationship, as your first allegiance must always be to Christ.
If he is a believer, then we join you in praying for his spiritual growth, repentance, and transformation. The behaviors you describe—selfishness, anger, and irresponsibility—are not fruits of the Spirit but of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). These must be addressed through repentance, the work of the Holy Spirit, and a deliberate turning toward Christ. It is not your responsibility to change him; only God can do that. Your role is to pray, set godly boundaries, and encourage him toward Christlikeness. If he is unwilling to repent or grow, you must prayerfully consider whether this relationship is wise or honorable to the Lord.
You mentioned quoting Scripture in your prayer, and we affirm the importance of standing on God’s Word. However, we notice that while you invoked the name of Jesus at the end of your prayer, the prayer itself did not center on Christ or explicitly acknowledge that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father (John 14:6, 1 Timothy 2:5). There is no other name by which we can be saved or through which our prayers are heard (Acts 4:12). We must always approach God through Jesus, our Mediator, and our prayers should reflect our dependence on Him.
Let us pray together for this situation, seeking God’s will above all else:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this sister and the man she has mentioned in her request. Lord, we ask first and foremost that Your will be done in this situation, not her will or ours, but Yours alone. Father, if this man does not know You, we pray that You would open his eyes to the truth of the Gospel. Convict him of his sin and draw him to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, for without Christ, no relationship can truly honor You. If he is a believer, Lord, we pray that You would expose any areas of unrepentant sin in his life—especially anger, selfishness, and irresponsibility—and bring him to true brokenness before You. Let him see the weight of his words and actions, not just toward others, but toward You, his Creator.
Father, we ask that You would cultivate in him the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Strip away the fleshly desires that lead to outbursts of anger and selfishness, and replace them with a heart that seeks to serve and honor You in all things. Teach him to carry his own load, as Your Word commands, and to take responsibility for his actions without excuse. Help him to understand that much is required of those to whom much has been given, and may he steward his words, emotions, and relationships with wisdom and humility.
Lord, we also lift up our sister in this matter. Give her discernment to recognize whether this relationship aligns with Your Word. If it does not, grant her the strength to walk away, trusting You to provide a godly husband if that is Your will for her life. If this man is the one You have for her, then prepare them both for a marriage that glorifies You—one built on Christ, mutual submission, and selfless love. Help her to set boundaries that honor You and to never compromise her faith or purity for the sake of this relationship.
Father, we rebuke any spirit of anger, selfishness, or irresponsibility that may be at work in this man’s life. We declare that no weapon formed against Your plan for him or for our sister will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Bind the enemy’s influence and fill this man with Your Spirit, that he may walk in obedience and holiness. Let Your Word be a lamp to his feet and a light to his path (Psalm 119:105), guiding him into all truth.
Finally, Lord, we pray that You would guard our sister’s heart and mind in Christ Jesus. May she find her identity and security in You alone, not in this relationship. Remind her that You are her Provider, Protector, and Perfecter, and that no earthly relationship can fulfill her like You can. Give her the courage to seek Your kingdom first, trusting that all these things will be added to her as she walks in obedience (Matthew 6:33).
We ask all these things in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. May Your will be done, and may You receive all the glory. Amen.
We encourage you to examine this relationship closely in light of Scripture. Ask yourself: Does this relationship draw me closer to Christ, or does it hinder my walk with Him? Is this man pursuing holiness, or is he content in patterns of sin? Are you both submitted to Christ and to His design for marriage? These are critical questions that must be answered honestly before God.
If you are not yet married, we urge you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature believer who can help you navigate this relationship biblically. Remember that marriage is a lifelong covenant, and it is far better to wait for a man who is fully surrendered to Christ than to enter into a union that will bring heartache and spiritual compromise.
We also encourage you to meditate on the following Scriptures as you seek God’s will:
- **Proverbs 3:5-6**: "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
- **1 Corinthians 7:39**: "A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whoever she desires, only in the Lord."
- **Ephesians 5:22-33**: This passage outlines the biblical roles of husbands and wives in marriage, emphasizing love, sacrifice, and submission to Christ.
- **2 Corinthians 6:14**: "Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"
May the Lord grant you wisdom, discernment, and a heart fully surrendered to His will. We are praying for you and trust that God will guide you as you seek Him first.
