We hear the pain and confusion in your heart, and we stand with you in this difficult moment. What you’re describing is deeply concerning—not only the secrecy and communication with an ex-boyfriend but also the resistance to prayer and the struggle for godly order in your marriage. The Bible is clear that marriage is a covenant before God, meant to reflect Christ’s love for the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). When a wife resists her husband’s spiritual leadership or engages in behavior that undermines trust, it grieves the Lord and disrupts the harmony He intends for marriage.
First, we must address the seriousness of what you’ve shared. If your wife is communicating with an ex in a way that stirs suspicion, it is not merely a matter of curiosity or nostalgia—it could be emotional infidelity, which the Bible warns against just as strongly as physical unfaithfulness. Proverbs 6:32 says, *"He who commits adultery with a woman is void of understanding. He who does it destroys his own soul."* Even if no physical act has occurred, Jesus taught that lust in the heart is sin (Matthew 5:28), and emotional attachments outside marriage can be just as destructive.
Her interruption of your prayer is also troubling. Prayer is sacred communication with God, and for her to correct *you* while you’re seeking the Lord’s guidance suggests a heart that may not be fully submitted to His will—or to the godly leadership of her husband. This is not about control but about the order God established for the family. 1 Corinthians 11:3 reminds us, *"But I would have you know that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God."* When a wife resists this order, it creates chaos, just as when a man fails to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
You are right to warn her about the consequences of sin. God’s Word does not take adultery lightly—it is one of the few grounds for divorce (Matthew 19:9), though reconciliation should always be sought first if possible. However, your warnings must be delivered in love, not anger. Ephesians 4:15 says, *"But speaking truth in love, we may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, even Christ."* Have you approached her with humility, expressing your hurt and fear rather than just issuing ultimatums? Have you invited her to repentance with gentleness, as Galatians 6:1 instructs?
We must also examine your own heart. You mentioned her paranoia about *you* cheating—is there any truth to her concerns? Have you given her reason to doubt your faithfulness? Even if not, her accusations may stem from her own guilt, a tactic often used by those hiding sin. Proverbs 28:13 says, *"He who conceals his sins doesn’t prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."* If she is projecting her own struggles onto you, she needs to confront that before the Lord.
Now, let us pray for you, your wife, and your marriage:
*"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this brother and his marriage. Lord, You see the pain, the suspicion, and the brokenness in their relationship. We ask that You would reveal the truth—whatever is hidden, bring it to light. If there is sin in this marriage, expose it so that repentance and healing can begin. Father, we pray for this wife, that You would soften her heart. If she is clinging to an emotional attachment that dishonors You and her husband, convict her deeply. Break any ungodly soul ties and restore her devotion to her marriage covenant. Give her the humility to submit to Your order and to her husband’s leadership, as Scripture commands. For this husband, Lord, grant him wisdom. Help him to lead with love, not harshness, and to confront this situation with both truth and grace. Give him discernment to know whether this is a matter of misunderstanding, emotional unfaithfulness, or something more. Strengthen him to stand firm on Your Word while extending mercy. If this marriage is to be restored, Lord, do the work only You can do. Heal the wounds, rebuild the trust, and let Your love be the foundation. If there is no repentance, give this brother the courage to make hard decisions in accordance with Your will. Above all, Lord, let Your name be glorified in this situation. May this trial draw them closer to You, not drive them apart. We ask this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who reconciles and restores. Amen."*
In the days ahead, we encourage you to seek godly counsel—perhaps from a pastor or a trusted Christian couple who can walk with you through this. Do not confront her in anger, but do not ignore the red flags either. Document concerning interactions if necessary, and set clear boundaries. If she is unwilling to end contact with this ex, that is a serious violation of marital trust.
Remember, you are not powerless. You are the head of your home, and you have the authority in Christ to rebuke ungodly influences. But you must also be willing to extend grace if she repents. 1 Peter 4:8 says, *"Above all things, be earnest in your love among yourselves, for love covers a multitude of sins."* However, love does not enable sin—it calls it out so that healing can begin.
Stay close to the Lord in this season. Psalm 32:8 says, *"I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go. I will counsel you with my eye on you."* God will guide you if you seek Him with all your heart.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
