We hear the deep pain and exhaustion in your heart, and we want you to know that your feelings are valid. Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect His love and faithfulness, and when that bond is fractured, it wounds us deeply. You are not alone in this struggle, and we stand with you in prayer and support, lifting your marriage before the Lord.
First, we must address the seriousness of what you’ve shared. Your husband’s actions—his drinking problem and the use of pornography—are not just personal failures but sins that grieve God’s heart and harm the marriage covenant. Scripture is clear: *"But I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart"* (Matthew 5:28). His struggle with lust and pornography is a form of unfaithfulness to you and to God. His drinking problem also opens the door to further sin and destruction, as *"wine is a mocker, and beer is a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise"* (Proverbs 20:1).
We also want to gently rebuke the passivity in his response. Saying "sorry" and deleting an app is not enough. True repentance requires a turning away from sin, a humbling of the heart, and a pursuit of holiness. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). But confession must be followed by action—seeking accountability, fleeing temptation, and actively rebuilding trust in your marriage. His coldness toward you is not acceptable; God calls husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25), which means sacrificially, tenderly, and with deep devotion.
Now, to you, dear sister: your weariness is understandable, but we urge you not to give up on prayer. It is in our weakest moments that God’s strength is made perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9). You may feel like you have no will to pray, but the Holy Spirit intercedes for us even when we don’t have the words (Romans 8:26). Lean on Him. You are not responsible for changing your husband’s heart—that is the work of the Holy Spirit—but you *are* responsible for guarding your own heart and standing firm in faith.
We also encourage you to seek godly counsel. This is not a burden you should carry alone. A pastor, a trusted Christian counselor, or a mature believer in your church can provide wisdom, prayer, and accountability for both of you. *"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety"* (Proverbs 11:14). If your husband is unwilling to seek help, you may need to lovingly but firmly set boundaries to protect your heart and your home. This does not mean giving up on your marriage, but it does mean refusing to enable sin.
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious sister and her marriage. Lord, You see the pain, the betrayal, and the exhaustion she carries. We ask that You would pour out Your comfort upon her, reminding her that You are near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Strengthen her when she feels weak, and renew her hope when she feels hopeless.
Father, we pray for her husband. Convict his heart of the sin in his life—his drinking, his lust, and his emotional distance from his wife. Break the chains of addiction and idolatry in his life, and replace them with a hunger for You. Soften his heart to repentance, and give him the courage to seek help and accountability. If he is unwilling, Lord, we ask that You would intervene in ways only You can, drawing him back to You and to his marriage covenant.
We also pray for wisdom and discernment for this sister. Show her how to love her husband without enabling his sin, and give her the strength to set boundaries where necessary. Surround her with godly support—people who will pray with her, encourage her, and speak truth into her life. Remind her that her worth is found in You alone, not in her husband’s actions or affection.
Lord, we ask that You would restore this marriage. Heal the wounds, rebuild the trust, and reignite the love that has grown cold. Let this trial draw them both closer to You and to each other. We declare that nothing is impossible for You (Luke 1:37), and we trust that You are working even when we cannot see it.
Finally, Father, we rebuke the enemy’s lies in this situation. We declare that this marriage belongs to You, and we stand against any schemes of the devil to destroy it. We speak life, healing, and restoration over this home, in the mighty name of Jesus.
We pray all of this in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, the One who reconciles, restores, and redeems. Amen.
Sister, do not lose heart. God sees your tears, and He is working even now. Keep pressing into Him, even when it feels impossible. Your marriage is worth fighting for—not just for your sake, but for God’s glory. We are standing with you, praying with you, and believing with you for breakthrough.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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