Our hearts break for your daughter, grandchildren, and you as we read of the deep suffering and spiritual warfare taking place in this home. This is not merely a difficult marriage—it is a pattern of unrepentant sin, emotional and psychological abuse, manipulation, and deception that directly contradicts the love, sacrifice, and holiness to which God calls husbands in His Word. The enemy is at work here, seeking to destroy your daughter’s faith, her mind, and her family, but we serve a God who is mighty to save, to expose darkness, and to break chains of oppression.
First, we must address the grave sin in this situation. Your son-in-law’s actions are not those of a man walking in obedience to Christ. The Bible is clear about the responsibilities of a husband:
*"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it... So ought men also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly"* (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29).
Instead, your son-in-law is acting in ways that align with the works of the flesh: *"adultery, sexual immorality, uncleanness, lustfulness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, strife, jealousies, outbursts of anger, rivalries, divisions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these; of which I forewarn you, even as I also forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit God’s Kingdom"* (Galatians 5:19-21).
His adultery, deception, laziness, manipulation, and emotional abuse are not just personal failings—they are rebellion against God. His refusal to repent, his gaslighting, and his spiritual abuse (accusing your daughter of being under demonic attack while he himself is the one walking in darkness) are particularly grievous. The Bible warns us: *"Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour"* (1 Peter 5:8). Your son-in-law is being used as a tool of the enemy to devour your daughter’s faith, her self-worth, and her relationships.
We also grieve over the isolation he has forced upon your daughter. The Bible commands us not to forsake fellowship (Hebrews 10:25), yet he has cut her off from her family and support system, which is a tactic of abusers to maintain control. His accusations against you and your ex-husband, rewriting her memories, and convincing her that her childhood was abusive when it was not, are tactics of psychological manipulation. This is not of God. *"A false witness will not go unpunished. He who pours out lies shall perish"* (Proverbs 19:9).
Your daughter’s plan to wait years to divorce is understandable from a human perspective—she wants to protect her children—but we must urge her to seek godly counsel and wisdom *now*. The Bible permits divorce in cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9) and abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:15), and her situation involves both. More importantly, she and the children are in an emotionally and spiritually toxic environment that is causing deep harm. Waiting years for freedom is not God’s will when there is unrepentant sin and abuse. *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). While your son-in-law may claim to be a Christian, his fruits prove otherwise (Matthew 7:16-20). A man who professes Christ but lives in habitual sin, refuses repentance, and destroys his family is not walking in the Spirit.
We also urge your daughter to seek help from her pastor or a biblical counselor—*not* the same pastor your son-in-law is manipulating. She needs a safe, neutral party who can speak truth into her life and help her see the reality of her situation. If her current pastor is being deceived by your son-in-law’s lies, she may need to seek counsel elsewhere. The church is called to protect the oppressed, not enable abusers. *"Rescue the perishing! Don’t say, ‘Look, we didn’t know this.’ For he who is joined with all the living has hope; for a living dog is better than a dead lion"* (Ecclesiastes 9:4).
As for you, dear sister, we commend your love and your prayers. Living in the same home must be incredibly painful, but your presence is a testimony of God’s faithfulness. Continue to pray, to speak truth in love when you have the opportunity, and to be a refuge for your daughter and grandchildren. However, we also urge you to seek wisdom about your own safety and boundaries. You are not called to endure abuse either. If possible, we encourage you to seek counsel on how to navigate this situation without enabling the sin in the home.
Now, let us pray together for this situation:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this broken and hurting family. Lord, You see the depths of the pain, the deception, and the spiritual warfare taking place in this home. You know the tears of this daughter, the confusion of the grandchildren, and the heartache of this mother who longs for her child to be free. Father, we ask that You intervene mightily.
We pray first for conviction upon the heart of this son-in-law. Lord, expose his sin in a way he cannot ignore. Let him be confronted with the truth of his actions, not just by man but by Your Holy Spirit. Bring him to repentance, Lord—or if he refuses, break the chains that bind your daughter to him. *"Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to Yahweh, and he will have mercy on him; and to our God, for he will freely pardon"* (Isaiah 55:7). But if he hardens his heart, Lord, do not let Your daughter remain in bondage. Give her the strength to act in wisdom and courage.
Father, we pray for this daughter’s mind to be renewed and protected. The enemy has sought to rewrite her memories, to distort her reality, and to fill her with doubt and self-condemnation. But Your Word says, *"You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free"* (John 8:32). Lord, break the lies that have taken root in her heart. Restore her memories of the love she was shown as a child. Let her see her son-in-law’s actions for what they are—sin, not her fault. Remind her that she is Your beloved daughter, redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and that she does not have to endure this abuse.
We pray for supernatural protection over the grandchildren. Shield their hearts and minds from the toxicity in their home. Raise up godly influences in their lives—teachers, mentors, or family members who can speak life into them. Let them know the love of their Heavenly Father even when their earthly father fails them.
Lord, we ask for wisdom for this mother as she navigates this painful situation. Give her discernment in how to support her daughter without enabling the sin in the home. Protect her emotionally and spiritually, Lord. Let her be a light in the darkness, but also grant her the strength to set boundaries where necessary.
Father, we pray for the body of Christ to rise up in this situation. Expose the deception that has taken place in the church. Raise up pastors, counselors, or believers who will stand for truth and protect the oppressed. Do not let Your name be blasphemed because of this man’s hypocrisy.
Lord, we ask for a miracle. Whether through repentance or through separation, bring freedom to this family. Let this daughter know that she does not have to wait years to escape—You are her deliverer, and You can make a way where there seems to be no way. Give her the courage to seek help, to set boundaries, and to walk in the freedom You have purchased for her.
We rebuke the spirit of deception, manipulation, and abuse operating in this home. We bind the enemy’s work and declare that no weapon formed against this family will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We loose the spirit of truth, conviction, and freedom in Jesus’ name.
Finally, Lord, we pray that through this trial, Your name will be glorified. Let this daughter’s story be one of redemption, where she can testify to Your faithfulness in delivering her from the pit. Let the grandchildren see Your power and love in their lives. And if this son-in-law repents, let it be a testimony of Your mercy—but if he does not, let Your justice prevail.
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who came to set the captives free. Amen.
---
To the one who submitted this request: We urge you to share this prayer with your daughter if possible. Encourage her to seek godly counsel and to take steps toward safety and freedom. The Lord does not call His children to remain in bondage to sin or abuse. If she is hesitant to leave because of financial dependence, there are often resources through churches or Christian organizations that can help. Please also consider reaching out to a biblical counselor yourself for guidance on how to support your daughter in this season. You are not alone—the body of Christ is here to stand with you.
