Dexter2020
Faithful Servant
I first met ### during one of the fellowship meals at church (###). At first, he seemed like a good person, introducing me to various churches (###, ###, ###, ###, ###, etc.) across Singapore where there was free food and social gatherings, including hotpot in ###. He also introduced me to ### from a learning center for a part-time job. Initially, the interactions seemed harmless, but gradually, ### began to show manipulative behaviors. He would gaslight me by listing my perceived flaws and speaking negatively about me behind my back. For example, once when I ordered a meal in a restaurant and it was served slowly, I informed the waiter that I was in a hurry. ### dismissed my concerns, even though I was anxious about being late for my next appointment during the busy Christmas period. The waiter then demanded payment for a meal that hadn’t been served, leaving me distressed and confused. ### treated the situation as trivial, though it caused me emotional upset. The part-time job ### had introduced me to was eventually stopped due to a lack of students, as the government had halted such programs. ###, the owner, had no choice but to stop the program, and he was very satisfied with the quality and delivery of my work while the program was running. Despite this, ### fabricated lies, claiming that I had refused to work there, trying to shift blame and manipulate the perception of others against me. ### also introduced me to his circle of friends, including ### (###) and ###. ###, in particular, caused emotional turmoil. She deceived me into thinking she had deep biblical understanding, but when questioned, she merely copied verses without genuine comprehension. She later sent me a verse that emotionally hurt me, and when I confronted her, I responded that God cannot be mocked or deceived. On another occasion, ### asked me to go to the healing room at the Church of ###. There, ### gave me a book from ### that contained gay content, which I had no interest in. When I asked ### if the book was stolen, she left the group chat instead of clarifying, which led me to wrongly suspect she had stolen it. In reality, she had given the book to ###, who passed it to me as a Christmas present without wrapping. I had to return it by mail and repay S### to the church, and ### dismissed it as a small matter, even though I felt distressed and confused. Further incidents with ### were more disturbing. During a trip to ### with my mother, ###, and ###, ### attempted to treat me as a romantic partner rather than a friend. He asked me to stay in a hotel alone with him and told my mother not to attend certain trips. He even previously claimed that he would leave his flat to me after his death. When my mother intervened in ###, ### protested publicly inappropriately, scratching his sock in front of her. Upon returning to Singapore, he blamed my mother for being toxic, despite her protecting me from his manipulative behavior. ### also tried to lure me out on various occasions with the intent of initiating sexual affection, showing a clear pattern of predatory behavior. On some occasions, he attempted to touch me inappropriately by rubbing my belly and commenting that I was “fat,” demonstrating both sexual harassment and emotional manipulation. ###’s manipulative and predatory behavior extended beyond me. He was a landlord who previously rented a room to a man named ###, who had a wife. ### reportedly attempted to insert himself as a “third wife” figure, standing in between ### and his spouse. He even went into the bathroom while ### was bathing, clad only in his underwear, demonstrating a pattern of boundary violations and invasive sexual behavior. I contacted ###, ###’s godfather, to understand more about ###’s behavior. ### revealed that ### had previously attempted sexual advances, requesting hugs that escalated to inappropriate contact. ### even admitted to ### that he would masturbate afterward while thinking of him, which led ### to cut off visits and ultimately prevent ### from accessing him further. ### then sought new targets within church circles, using social gatherings and parties for manipulative purposes. Recognizing this, I distanced myself from ###. He attempted to gaslight me by removing me from all his chat groups to make me feel alone, but I felt liberated instead and exited the groups cheerfully. ### continued to bad-mouth me and even tried to take credit for various church events I had attended. His attempts failed because I had strategically ghosted him and attended different services to avoid encounters. Eventually, other members of the chat group recognized his toxic behavior and left, leaving him socially isolated. ### continued attempts to engage me. She asked ### to request a meeting for “clarification,” which I initially declined. Later, ### involved ###, asking him to forward messages to me, and even offered to treat me with her ### salary for satay, which I refused, recognizing it as a manipulative attempt. I asked ### to inform ### that I did not wish to clarify in the group chat. ### left the group instead, which I noted as rude and avoidant behavior. Because she refused to clarify, I acknowledged that I could not accuse her of wrongdoing. Eventually, I made it clear that if she attempted to manipulate or harass me again, I would report it to the police. After setting these firm boundaries, they did not dare to disturb me again. Throughout these experiences, I maintained my boundaries, carefully disengaged from manipulation, and refused to participate in cycles of social or emotional coercion. I recognized manipulative tactics, asserted my autonomy, and protected my emotional and moral integrity, ultimately gaining control over the situation and refusing to be victimized by repeated harassment or deception.
