We hear the deep burden in your heart for this relative who professes Christ in name but whose life does not reflect the transformative power of the Gospel. The hypocrisy you describe—attending church for personal gain, trusting in worldly provision over God, and harboring bitterness, greed, and even cruelty—is a grievous offense against the Lord. Such behavior dishonors the name of Christ and risks leading others astray. As Scripture warns, *"Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven; but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven"* (Matthew 7:21, WEB). And again, *"This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me"* (Matthew 15:8, WEB).
The hardness of heart you describe is a serious matter. Your relative’s focus on past glories, financial hoarding, and manipulation of others—even celebrating the death of your grandmother—reveals a soul ensnared by the love of money, pride, and the deception of self-righteousness. The Apostle Paul warns, *"The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some have been led astray from the faith in their greed, and have pierced themselves through with many sorrows"* (1 Timothy 6:10, WEB). Her actions show that she has not surrendered her life to Christ but instead serves the idols of materialism, control, and the approval of others. This is not the fruit of repentance but the fruit of a heart still in rebellion.
Yet we must also remember that God’s desire is for *all* to repent and come to the knowledge of the truth (2 Peter 3:9). While her current path leads to destruction, the Lord is patient, not wishing that any should perish. Your plea for her repentance is righteous, and we join you in crying out to God to break the hardness of her heart. The prophet Ezekiel speaks of God’s promise: *"I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them. I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh; that they may walk in my statutes, and keep my ordinances, and do them. They will be my people, and I will be their God"* (Ezekiel 11:19-20, WEB).
We must also address the danger of twisting Scripture to justify sin. If she uses the Bible to excuse her greed, bitterness, or manipulation, she is guilty of handling the Word of God deceitfully (2 Corinthians 4:2). True faith produces *fruit*—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Where these are absent, there is no genuine relationship with Christ, no matter how loudly one sings "Hallelujah."
As for your living situation, we understand the difficulty of sharing a home with someone whose behavior is so contrary to Christ. While you honor your parents as Scripture commands (Ephesians 6:2), you are not responsible for her sin. You must guard your own heart from bitterness and continue to walk in obedience to the Lord, trusting Him to vindicate what is right. *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). Though she is family, her unrepentant behavior should not be enabled or excused. Pray for wisdom in how to interact with her, setting godly boundaries while still showing love.
Now, let us pray together for this situation:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this relative who professes Your name but whose life does not reflect Your holiness. Lord, You see the hypocrisy, the greed, the bitterness, and the deception in her heart. You know the pain she has caused, the manipulation she has employed, and the hardness that has taken root within her. Father, we plead with You to *break* that stony heart. Soften her, Lord. Convict her by Your Holy Spirit of her sin—her trust in worldly provision over You, her love of money, her cruelty, and her empty religion. Remove every stronghold of pride and self-righteousness that blinds her to her need for true repentance.
Lord Jesus, You warned that *"unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, there is no way you will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven"* (Matthew 5:20, WEB). Open her eyes to see that her outward acts of church attendance and hollow praise mean nothing without a transformed heart. Let her see the emptiness of her idols—the money she hoards, the past she clings to, the approval of others she craves. Show her that these things cannot save her, cannot satisfy her, and will only lead to eternal ruin.
Father, if there are any obstructions—spiritual, emotional, or otherwise—preventing her from repenting, we ask You to *remove them*. If she is deceived by the enemy, expose the lies. If she is hardened by pride, humble her. If she is blinded by greed, strip away her false security. Do whatever it takes, Lord, to bring her to her knees before You. Let her no longer trust in her retirement, her schemes, or her own understanding, but let her fall desperately upon Your mercy.
We also pray for our brother who has shared this burden. Strengthen him, Lord, to walk in wisdom and grace. Protect his heart from bitterness and his mind from discouragement. Give him the words to speak—when to speak, when to be silent, and how to honor You in this difficult situation. Remind him that You are his Provider, his Defender, and his Peace, even when family members fail to reflect Your love.
Finally, Father, we declare that *no one* who calls upon Your name in truth will be put to shame. If this relative refuses to repent, we trust Your justice. But if You grant repentance, we will rejoice with the angels over one sinner who turns to You. May Your will be done in her life, for Your glory and her eternal good.
We ask all this in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, the only name by which we can be saved. Amen.