T
teddybear
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[COLOR=#4B0082][size="3"][/COLOR][COLOR=#4B0082][font="Comic Sans MS"][/COLOR][COLOR=#4B0082]Dear prayer partners[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082][color="#4B0082"][/COLOR][COLOR=#4B0082]Please pray for my attitude to change. and pray for me not to "poor me it"and work diligently toward a clean home. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]For God and for me and for my family. Almost every fight ends with my bad housekeeping or bill paying skills. I can't stand seeing my family disappointed in me all the time. I don't like me. Yet, somehow I am addicted to not changing if that makes sense. I want to but not enough? I get sidetracked and move from thing to thing not finishing anything. I spend way too much time looking for things. I need to make a spot for everything and then remember where that spot was.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]I need to be calmer and more prepared and less rushed. Rushing makes me messier and then leave it for later as I run out the door. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]My husband has quit his Paramedic job, as it was not working well and he is too stressed. I want to work part time. And, I have a chance to work at near by flower shop. It would give me a lift and some ladies to talk with.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]But, to do this, I have to be organized. I used to be. Please pray for this. And pray that the wage they offer is good, not minimum wage as my last floral designer job was. It makes driving the twentyfive minutes questionable. But, I am dying with loneliness here and long to do something creative and fun. I have been a floral designer on and off and always seem to find work in that when I look. I took my course when I was 18 and I am now 50, lol [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]Pray that I don't mind working while they are watching a movie or napping or gone somewhere. Pray that I will just work, work, work, to catch up and that that will bring me a feeling of success and joy and then slowly get some fun back to find a balance but keep this place nice and peaceful!!!! [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]I have to put in some long days to fix it. Pray I have the desire and ability to do that. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]I have been sick for over ten years and my house shows it. I had a brain bleed and many other health problems which have zapped my energy, mind, and speech. I have pain and I am now slower and confused . I have even less energy when I feel hurt, confused, overwhelmed, stressed or insulted, etc. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]I take a lot of medicine which helps me think, talk, stay awake, and then at night sleep. I go to a specialist and he has helped me. But, my family will say I am just faking it or crazy or lazy. And that hurts. I really think a medical doctor would not give me medicine if I were faking. And who would fake unhappy, lonely, and lazy all the time. It makes me feel like dirt. Why would I want that.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]I have lost all my friends, my singing voice, my church going ablilty, and i find the smallest things hard. Like planning a meal and getting groceries. I am alone and feel unloved and unknown. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]My family is fed up with me and lets me know that I am crazy or lazy or just not a good anything. My daughter really hates me mostly and no one respects me or really cares about my dreams etc.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]My house has not one room finished. My hubbie will start on a room to paint etc. but then not finish. And, he will say well you were supposed to finish this.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]We have a very dirty old rug which all the cleaners in the store can not help and a old furnace 1976 which does heat this house well. Our windows and doors leak air and I am cold all the time. I pray for a miracle to help us afford to fix these things and pay our debts. And, maybe save a little. I also want to help others more. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]And, I am sooooo sad and tired and hurt.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]I wanted my husband to be a best friend, to want to spend time with me or play a game or go for a walk. But, we are strangers. And he just is angry about bills, or housework,meals, or laundry.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]He doesn't kiss me. Just a peck like an old grandma. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]If I have a good day, then they think I did not do enough. I have stayed up all night several times to try to catch up only to be told that something that should have been done was not.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]I just need a miracle. Ten years of mess started in the basement and then crept up. We have cats, and they knock stuff over making it worse. We have dogs which I find make things dirtier.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]I am a people pleaser and I give in to too much so that my family may love me.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]And, for that first week of the puppy they do. But, then the puppy is mine. And the cats. And, the snow shovelling etc. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]If something is boring, hard, or uncomfortable for them, they quit and want me to finish. I was the rescuer and now no one wants to rescue me.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]I used to have too clean of a home and work well into the night to please and do field and yard work. Now, I find it hard to keep up with dishes. [/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]Pray for my attitude to change. and pray for me not to poor me it. and not care but work to a clean home. for God and for me and to show love to my family.[/COLOR]
[COLOR=#4B0082]They need a calmer, cleaner, prettier home where things are in one place and can be found. Pray for me. I am so down and lonely. It is not that much to ask to do better in life and to care more and help others more. And, one friend would be nice and a husband who loves me and shows it. Thank you. [/COLOR][COLOR=#4B0082][/font][/COLOR][COLOR=#4B0082][/size][/COLOR]
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