Cdjeffery
Disciple of Prayer
Posted A minute ago
Prayer Request/ Spiritual Advice. This has been a pretty big issue for me lately and has been causing me a lot of anxiety and worry. Anyways when I was little my family found this school (NHP) it was a difficult process to get into but I found my way in for 1st grade. I spent 9 and a half amazing year there. Met the most amazing friends and built amazing friendships. By the time I was a freshmen I had developed a sort of ego problem. I was very cocky. Way over my head and a huge jerk .. I started losing friendships and over that spring/summer I met a girl who I basically "fell in love" with and she ended up breaking my heart which drove me to become even more cocky to get over her .. Thus losing more friendships. By October of my sophomore year I had decided I was going to go to public school and pursue baseball. I had a tough up bringing in baseball. Horrible coaches but I had talent which drove me to play high school ball... So I left after some prayers and decided it would be best to go to public school and leave my childhood behind and start fresh. I go to public school and it's rough. There are temptations every where, different personality completely different then what I grew up with .. It took me a while to adjust but by the time baseball season started I was ready to play .. I went through the whole season sitting the bench .. Fighting off heavy emotions throughout the season and trying my best to still love the coach the way God did. By the end of the season I faced a strained rotator cuff (which made me consider quitting ) and harsh emotions towards coach. I was desperate to move schools and did everything to convince my parents to buy a new house but it didn't work. I went through summer ball playing here and there and enjoying it and just having a great summer with friends. School starts back up. I meet some new friends and everything's great. Baseball is great and I feel like I'm getting a place on the team. However somewhere along the line I began to lose sight of God and my actions took a toll .. I was disrespectful. Loud in public arrogant etc .. And Baseball once again took a toll. Several weeks ago I began to miss my old school. Everything about it. The friendships everything. And re applied (it's a lottery process which means they select random names to fill the spots for the following year and those who don't make it are put on s waiting list) I have maintained a good group of best friends from there and we constantly hang out but lately I felt a change like we weren't as close .. I began to have deep and personal conversations with them. Trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong and then I realized I had to make a change. A change greater than ever. I realized I needed to change who I was through God .. And I began the change within a week I was already recovering all of my old friendships.. I was however losing more at public school and just not feeling right where I was. I'm going to be a senior in high school next year and it's very very difficult for a senior to get their name drawn during the lottery process .. In the past couple weeks I've truly felt Gods presence and part of me feels like I went to public school to change my personality and how I acted .. Not for baseball. I have a deep desire to graduate from my old school and with my best friends. I just don't like public school like I did when I first went there. I was in a rough place when I left and dug myself out. I've been deeply praying about this for a couple weeks and part of me feels like God is pulling me back to my old school but the other part is worried and doesn't want to get my hopes up and then the majority of my mind is just putting faith into Gods plan. That stress and worry however has piled up and it's not an enjoyable thought. Lately I've felt things around me at public school fall apart. Friendships, my love for the school and how I just don't want to be there and how I'd rather be at my old school. It's a conflict and my head is a mess.. I've had several dreams in the Past couple weeks of me being back at school and being around those that I miss...I've been praying a lot for signs but I don't know if that's a sign.. I'm conflicted and confused .. The results for the lottery come out in two weeks and I know there will be a few spots because people have left..my head has been a mess lately cause I've been thinking of all the negatives
Prayer Request/ Spiritual Advice. This has been a pretty big issue for me lately and has been causing me a lot of anxiety and worry. Anyways when I was little my family found this school (NHP) it was a difficult process to get into but I found my way in for 1st grade. I spent 9 and a half amazing year there. Met the most amazing friends and built amazing friendships. By the time I was a freshmen I had developed a sort of ego problem. I was very cocky. Way over my head and a huge jerk .. I started losing friendships and over that spring/summer I met a girl who I basically "fell in love" with and she ended up breaking my heart which drove me to become even more cocky to get over her .. Thus losing more friendships. By October of my sophomore year I had decided I was going to go to public school and pursue baseball. I had a tough up bringing in baseball. Horrible coaches but I had talent which drove me to play high school ball... So I left after some prayers and decided it would be best to go to public school and leave my childhood behind and start fresh. I go to public school and it's rough. There are temptations every where, different personality completely different then what I grew up with .. It took me a while to adjust but by the time baseball season started I was ready to play .. I went through the whole season sitting the bench .. Fighting off heavy emotions throughout the season and trying my best to still love the coach the way God did. By the end of the season I faced a strained rotator cuff (which made me consider quitting ) and harsh emotions towards coach. I was desperate to move schools and did everything to convince my parents to buy a new house but it didn't work. I went through summer ball playing here and there and enjoying it and just having a great summer with friends. School starts back up. I meet some new friends and everything's great. Baseball is great and I feel like I'm getting a place on the team. However somewhere along the line I began to lose sight of God and my actions took a toll .. I was disrespectful. Loud in public arrogant etc .. And Baseball once again took a toll. Several weeks ago I began to miss my old school. Everything about it. The friendships everything. And re applied (it's a lottery process which means they select random names to fill the spots for the following year and those who don't make it are put on s waiting list) I have maintained a good group of best friends from there and we constantly hang out but lately I felt a change like we weren't as close .. I began to have deep and personal conversations with them. Trying to figure out what could possibly be wrong and then I realized I had to make a change. A change greater than ever. I realized I needed to change who I was through God .. And I began the change within a week I was already recovering all of my old friendships.. I was however losing more at public school and just not feeling right where I was. I'm going to be a senior in high school next year and it's very very difficult for a senior to get their name drawn during the lottery process .. In the past couple weeks I've truly felt Gods presence and part of me feels like I went to public school to change my personality and how I acted .. Not for baseball. I have a deep desire to graduate from my old school and with my best friends. I just don't like public school like I did when I first went there. I was in a rough place when I left and dug myself out. I've been deeply praying about this for a couple weeks and part of me feels like God is pulling me back to my old school but the other part is worried and doesn't want to get my hopes up and then the majority of my mind is just putting faith into Gods plan. That stress and worry however has piled up and it's not an enjoyable thought. Lately I've felt things around me at public school fall apart. Friendships, my love for the school and how I just don't want to be there and how I'd rather be at my old school. It's a conflict and my head is a mess.. I've had several dreams in the Past couple weeks of me being back at school and being around those that I miss...I've been praying a lot for signs but I don't know if that's a sign.. I'm conflicted and confused .. The results for the lottery come out in two weeks and I know there will be a few spots because people have left..my head has been a mess lately cause I've been thinking of all the negatives
