Guest
Please pray that I have a productive day today, at least finish my taping to try to keep bed bugs out. I got up a little late today, but I did better than the past few days. I am still in serious pain over the situation with my family. However, I have made up my mind to take break from them for now. I just pray things will get better. My parents are old, and that was one of the reasons I decided to swallow so much of their garbage. Also, because of my nephews. As some of you know, I saw my nephew Michael last night, and I saw Bella the dog too. It was wonderful. But my brother-in-law was so cold to me and as usual, very sarcastic. My sister told me I must have done or said something really bad to make my father mad enough to tell me to shut the BLEEP up. It is not true, I mentioned the trauma of seeing nest of bed bugs under my mattress, but I am not the one who kept making one idiot suggestion after the other and magnifying this conversation. When I tried to STOP the discussion, that is when my father said what he said. Anyway, like I have said a million times., I wanted a family so badly. I swallowed and swallowed so many insults, so many verbal tirades and on and on, but I just can't do it any more. Also as I have said a million times, the pain of not seeing my nephews any more is unbearable. I thought because my sister asked me to babysit for them, that there was chance. But, realistically, is one-time thing. The only times I see those kids are Sunday and Tuesday night at my mother's. Chris and Missy are not going to go out of their way to let me see those kids or that dog. My heart is broken in a million pieces. Anyway, keep praying for me. I think I have made the right decision for now. I did everything humanly possible to try to get along with them and make me love them more. I even went to my sister's house several times and cleaned it for her just to surprise her and take some of the pressure off her. I tried reading current events so I could discuss stuff with them and be more interesting to them. You name it. I tried it. But like Jim and Jeanne always say, "It is what it is." So, please, pray for me. Pray that if it is God's will, we will reunite and be happier as a family. Also, please pray for real miracle -- I get apology from my father for what he said to me. Your sister in Christ, Lamb.
