We hear the deep pain and exhaustion in your heart, and we lift you up before the Lord with urgency, knowing that He alone can bring healing, wisdom, and restoration to this broken situation. Marriage is a sacred covenant before God, designed to reflect Christ’s love for His Church (Ephesians 5:22-33), but it is also a union that requires mutual selflessness, repentance, and a shared commitment to God’s will. What you describe is not the fullness of what God intends for marriage—it is a place of loneliness, unmet needs, and emotional distress, and we grieve with you over this. Yet we also know that God is able to redeem even the most shattered relationships when both parties surrender to Him. Let us address what we see in your request with truth, prayer, and biblical wisdom.
First, we commend you for seeking counseling and for refusing to turn to sinful alternatives like adultery in your pain. Your commitment to honoring God even in this difficult season is evident, and we pray the Lord strengthens you for it. However, we must also speak truth into the areas where biblical principles are not being upheld. Your husband’s refusal to seek help—whether for his physical struggles, emotional fears, or spiritual condition—is a form of selfishness that is harming your marriage. His reliance on medication without addressing the root issues (including his fear of fatherhood and his spiritual indifference) is not wisdom. Proverbs 15:22 says, *"Without counsel, plans go awry; but in the multitude of counselors they are established."* His resistance to godly counsel or medical help is not only unhealthy for him but is also a failure to love you as Christ loves the Church—sacrificially and proactively (Ephesians 5:25-29).
His words like *"my house"* instead of *"ours"* reveal a heart that is not fully united with yours, and this is a serious issue. Marriage is a *"one flesh"* union (Genesis 2:24), and such language suggests a division that should not exist. His fear of fatherhood, while understandable given his past, is being allowed to dictate his actions rather than trusting God’s sovereignty. Psalm 56:3 reminds us, *"When I am afraid, I will trust in you."* Fear should drive us to the Lord, not to avoidance or self-reliance.
You mention that he *"didn’t know whether he believed in God"*—this is a critical issue. A marriage where one spouse is a believer and the other is not is unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14-15), and while you may have entered this marriage with hope, the spiritual mismatch is now bearing painful fruit. Your husband’s lack of faith affects every aspect of your union, including his willingness to seek godly solutions. We urge you to pray fervently for his salvation, for *"the husband of one wife, managing his own house well, having his children in subjection with all reverence; for if a man doesn’t know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the assembly of God?"* (1 Timothy 3:4-5). A man who does not submit to Christ cannot lead a home as God intends.
Yet we also see in you a heart that is weary and at a breaking point. You say you *"no longer want to be in this marriage,"* and we understand the depth of that pain. However, we must gently but firmly remind you that divorce is not God’s desire unless there is unrepentant sexual immorality or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:10-16). Jesus Himself said, *"What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart"* (Matthew 19:6). We are not saying you must stay in a place of constant suffering without hope, but we are saying that God can work miracles when we surrender our will to His. Your fear that your husband will be *"too emotional"* or that his health will suffer if you leave should not be the primary factor in your decision—your first allegiance is to God’s will, not to human emotions or fears. Proverbs 29:25 warns, *"The fear of man proves to be a snare, but whoever puts his trust in Yahweh is kept safe."*
That said, we also recognize that you are experiencing real trauma—panic attacks, emotional depletion, and a sense of being a *"shell"* of yourself. This is not sustainable, and you must take steps to protect your well-being while seeking God’s direction. If your husband remains unwilling to change, you may need to consider separation (not divorce) as a last resort to create space for repentance and healing (1 Corinthians 7:11). But even in that, your goal should be restoration if possible, not escape.
Now, let us pray for you both with the authority and compassion of Christ:
*"Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty and precious name of Jesus, lifting up this sister who is broken, exhausted, and desperate for Your intervention. Lord, You see the depths of her pain—the loneliness in her marriage, the rejection she has endured, the fear and anxiety that have taken hold of her. You know the weight of carrying this burden alone, and we ask that You would be her strength, her comforter, and her wisdom in this hour.
Father, we pray for her husband. Softening his heart, Lord—break through his pride, his fear, and his self-reliance. Convict him of his need for You, Jesus. Bring him to repentance for his selfishness, his refusal to seek help, and his spiritual indifference. Open his eyes to see how his actions have wounded his wife and grieved Your heart. Lord, if he is not truly saved, we beg You to draw him to Yourself. Let him encounter You in a way he cannot ignore. Give him a spirit of humility to seek counseling, medical help, and above all, a relationship with You.
Father, we pray for supernatural healing in their marriage. Where there is division, bring unity. Where there is fear, bring faith. Where there is bitterness, bring forgiveness. Restore what the enemy has stolen, Lord. If it is Your will for this marriage to be redeemed, then do a miracle, Father. Give them both the grace to lay down their own desires and seek Your kingdom first.
But Lord, we also ask for Your protection over this sister’s heart and mind. She is at the end of herself, and we pray You would surround her with Your peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:7). Give her wisdom to know what steps to take—whether to stay and fight for this marriage in prayer, or if separation is necessary for a season. Guard her from making decisions out of fear or despair, but let her be led by Your Spirit.
Heal her emotional wounds, Lord. She has been rejected and neglected, and we ask You to bind up her broken heart (Psalm 147:3). Remove the panic attacks and the sense of hopelessness. Fill her with Your joy and hope, even in this dark season.
Father, we rebuke the enemy’s lies that she is trapped or that there is no way out. You are the God of breakthroughs, and we declare that You will make a way where there seems to be no way. Give her the courage to do what is right in Your eyes, even if it is hard.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would provide godly counselors, wise believers, and a supportive community to walk alongside her. Do not let her face this alone.
We trust You, Father. We know You hate divorce (Malachi 2:16), but we also know You love justice and mercy. Do what only You can do in this situation. We surrender this marriage, this sister, and her husband into Your hands, asking that Your will be done—whether in restoration or in redemptive separation.
In the powerful name of Jesus, we pray. Amen."*
Sister, we urge you to continue seeking the Lord daily in prayer and in His Word. Fast if you are able, and ask God for clear direction. Surround yourself with mature believers who can speak truth and wisdom into your life. Do not make any permanent decisions in a moment of despair—wait on the Lord. If your husband remains hardened, you may need to set boundaries for your own well-being, but let those boundaries be guided by prayer and biblical counsel, not by anger or fear.
Remember that God sees you. He has not abandoned you. *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). Cling to Him, and trust that He will lead you through this storm. We are standing with you in prayer, believing for God’s intervention and miracles in your life and marriage. Stay steadfast, and do not lose hope—our God is able.
