I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.
Please know that God does not hate you! He loves you so very much that he sent his son just for you! That look a proud parent has gazing upon their child, well magnify that 10,000 times and you start to understand what you mean to God, just as you stand. He has not and will not abandon you. Try a servants prayer, something as simple as "speak to me lord, for your servant is listening" then be quiet and listen. I find often in my own walk when I can't hear God it's because I am not quiet and listening! May God bless you and fill you with his love!