Please pray for me fellow stander's, believers and those who can agree with me in prayer as I continue to await the restoration of my marriage and my family in Jesus name. Please pray for my patience as I await God's promises and His perfect timing. Please pray for my renewed strength and faith. Please pray I come to forgive my covenant spouse 100%... I thought I had forgiven My Beloved completely and was comfortable that the enemy was just using him when he hurt me because we did not have God in our marriage, but those feelings of rejection and resentment resurfaced this week as I went home to visit our children (and him). Things went well, but I think I expected too much too soon and was disappointed. I have rearranged my whole life , moved out-of-state to find work and out of my dangerous, unhealthy living situation strictly by faith so that I could provide for our children/us better and be a better help-meet. I've endured loneliness that I can only compare to grief, but things are better. God has changed my heart and is still changing our financial picture. I still need a car, so I pray that will come soon, by some miracle since I also need a license and am having difficulty saving because of expenses... Anyhow, I really got hopeless on my bus ride back this weekend as he said some negative comments ("we've tried a bunch of times"). I cried buckets in front of total strangers. I felt flat out dumb. It feelslike I'm being punished for his mistakes and mine. Like the whole downfall of the marriage/relationship falls on me. He remains prideful. I've humbled myself am I wrong to want an acknowledgement from him that he hurt me, that he's sorry? I often wonder if/when I'd ever get it and would we be okay when we reunite without it?