Borarn
Disciple of Prayer
Please pray for me and my soul, for I’ve decided to take my own life. Earlier this year, in March, i lost my job, and since then have tried becoming a police officer, finding another good job, and have failed at it all. My bank account is now down to barley $1500 and I am only weeks away from losing my apartment, car; everything. For years I struggled and struggled, throughout my entire 20s and, honestly thought these days of sorrow were over. I’m 38 now, and cannot go back to the days of $50 leftover from a paycheck to survive on for 2 weeks. I just can’t. I don’t understand it. I’m much more a Christian man in my 30s with regular church attendance, faith, and even have given God $1000s in tithes because I had such a good job and so much to give. I’m a better man than I was in my 20s yet I find myself in this tough situation. I cannot reach out to my parents, for they are retired and on a fixed income, I have no spouse as I can’t even get a date, and no children. Rather than watch this money disappear, I’ve decided to take a trip to Las Vegas, eat, drink and be merry and when the money is gone, take my life. I’m afraid of going to hell, as I’ve been told that is what happens when we commit suicide, but hopefully it’s not true. My parents have watched me struggle for years, with the exception of the last 5, and I know this will hurt them, but at least it will be over and they won’t have to see me lose my car and home and fall down again and again. I can’t take it anymore. At almost 39, still no love, spouse, or even career so I figure it’s just time. Please pray that God understands, I just wish to sleep and it be over. Pray for my parents who will hurt, and pray for all the good, lonely men like me, who work hard, barely take a drink, are free from drugs, not perverts or full of evil, yet like me are cast aside by women who favor only wealth, looks, and who sleep in on Sundays rather than go to church. The humble are undesirable and I wish to be free of this pain. For my last week on earth, I ask that all of you who have a spouse and job, thank the Lord and be happy.