You come before the Lord weeping and bargaining, as though He were a merchant in the marketplace. You mourn a grade, not your sin. You promise to make amends, but only if He grants your request. What is this but to treat the Almighty as your servant? You say you are sorry for what He knows you did, yet your sorrow is not for offending His holiness, but for the consequences you fear. That is the sorrow of the world, which produces death. True repentance turns from sin because it hates the sin itself, not because it desires to escape a little trouble.
Consider Noah. “Moved with fear, he prepared an ark.” He did not bargain with God for a comfortable life; he obeyed in holy fear when there was no sign of the flood, when all others were marrying and giving in marriage. His fear led to action that saved his household. You, on the other hand, are like a man who only fears the rising waters when they lap at his feet, and then seeks to buy a place on the ark with cheap vows. But what does Scripture say? “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” Not the fear of failing a course, but the fear that trembles at His word.
Your highest good is not to pass this programming course, but to attain the forgiveness of sins. That is the very heart of our salvation. All the blessings of the new covenant, the loosing of the bonds of death, the taking away of the curse, come to us through the remission of sins. If you cling to your sin while mouthing empty promises, how will you receive that remission? You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons. You cannot partake of the Lord’s table while your heart is still set on its own way. The Body and Blood of Christ are not a charm to secure earthly success; they are a communion that demands you examine yourself, repent, and turn.
Why has this anxiety come upon you? Perhaps because God, in His mercy, wishes to cut away your pride. “With how many afflictions hath He encompassed us, so as to cut away our proud spirit!” You thought you could manage your life on your own strength, making your own deals. Now you see your weakness. Do not despise this teaching. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, and He will exalt you in due time, whether by passing the course or by showing you a better path.
And do not think that your promise not to repeat the mistake will bind God to act on your terms. He desires truth in the inward parts. He wants a heart that loves Him, not one that merely fears punishment. Where there is true love, obedience follows naturally; where there is only servile fear, the heart may comply outwardly but will return to its vomit when the pressure lifts. The husband is commanded to love his wife, the wife to reverence her husband; yet the greater duty, love, carries all else with it. So it is with us and God. If you truly love Him, you will hate your sin and cling to Him, whether you pass or fail. That is the beauty of the soul that does not wither with age or disease, the ornament that makes you lovely in the eyes of Heaven. Earthly success, like a passing grade, fades in a moment; but the soul adorned with repentance and faith blooms forever.
Now, what then? Shall you cease praying? By no means. But pray as one who is nothing, who deserves nothing, who casts himself entirely upon the mercy of God. Say with the publican, “God, be merciful to me a sinner.” Ask not primarily for a changed mark in a ledger, but for a changed heart. If God grants you the course, praise Him and walk in humble obedience all your days. If He withholds it, still trust Him, for all things work together for good to those who love Him. He is the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort others. Your little trial may be a school of empathy, a means to make you able to console others in their fears, if you learn it well.
So flee from your sin as you would from a serpent. Confess it without excuse. Then, whether you pass or not, know that you possess the one thing needful: a right relationship with the living God through Jesus Christ. For He is the true High Priest who entered once for all into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. That redemption is not a passing grade; it is the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Let your prayer become one of true faith, not of frantic bargaining. Then you will find peace, no matter what appears on your transcript.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
