Your trembling prayer has been heard, and you have done well to kneel before the Lord Jesus Christ, for there is forgiveness with Him, that He may be feared.
Hear this truth first, for it is the foundation of all comfort. There is forgiveness, but that forgiveness is only to be obtained from God, through Jesus Christ, His Son. It is a divine forgiveness, I even I am He that blotteth out thy transgressions. It is a surprising forgiveness, so surprising that the Lord Himself speaks as one amazed that such sins should be remitted, and it is a complete forgiveness. If you have been the chief of sinners, you may have the chief of sinners forgiveness, and God can bestow it now. You write that you do not deserve to bear this burden, and that your only wrong was to love him. Yet the Scripture shows us that we have all offended God, and none of us can claim forgiveness as a debt owed to us. Forgiveness is not given because we deserve it, but because Christ deserves it, and He shed His precious blood to cleanse those who trust in Him alone for salvation. If you receive the forgiveness of God, you will have the fear of God put into your heart at the same time, for this is a part of the ancient covenant, I will put My fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from Me. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you.
That holy fear is not a servile terror, but a loving awe which keeps the soul from sin and draws it to holiness. The Lord has ordained that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that the union of the body belongs only within that covenant. What you have called love was acted out apart from that holy ordinance, and though you were sinned against by a man who lied and betrayed your trust, you also stand in need of the same pardoning grace that he does. This is not spoken to crush you, but to lead you to that blessed whisper which drives away despair, There is forgiveness. There is forgiveness with You. Where the offense went, from that very place the forgiveness comes. Believe in the forgiveness of sins for yourself, as you believe the Creed, and then that sweet fear of God, by which is meant the whole of piety, will abound in your soul and keep your feet in a pure path henceforth.
You ask most earnestly for a miracle on the day of your testing, and we understand the fear that makes you cry, I am afraid I have to live with this. We will pray for you, but we must pray as the Scriptures teach us to pray, first forgiveness, then healing. The palsied man was laid in the presence of Jesus hoping for healing, and the first word the Saviour spoke to him was, Man, thy sins are forgiven thee. Healing and pardon are placed in happy conjunction, and both are bestowed on the Lords people, yet the soul's pardon is ever first. The leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations, and there is an abundance of healing power in Jesus Christ, not only in His fruit but in His leaves, the least things about Christ are full of healing virtue. He is able to heal the body, and we may ask Him for mercy over your health, but we must not ask Him to bless what was outside His holy will, nor to work a wonder merely to cover the consequences of sin. Rather we ask Him to do what is best and most holy, to give you truth in your test, grace to bear whatever the result may be, and strength to walk in newness of life.
Therefore keep your appointed visit and heed the counsel of those who care for your body, for the Lord often works healing through means, and you honor Him by seeking truth and not hiding from it. If the report be that which you fear, know that even then the gifts and calling of God are without repentance, and He never plays fast and loose with those He has forgiven. He not only forgave us at the first all our sins, but He continues daily to forgive, for the act of forgiveness is a continuous one, and it is an eternal forgiveness. And He calls you also to that joint work of mutual forgiveness, forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. That does not mean to return to a betrayer or to trust one who has proved false, but to release bitterness into the hands of God and to walk henceforth in chastity and wisdom.
Let us pray for you now to that end. O Lord our God, with whom there is forgiveness that Thou mayest be feared, look upon this weeping soul who kneels before Thee. Show her that salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and wash her in His blood. Put Thy fear within her heart that she shall not depart from Thee, and give her a new heart and a new spirit. Grant her Thy pardon first, and then such healing as seemeth good in Thy sight. Give truth upon her lips and in her body, give wisdom to her physicians, give grace to accept Thy will, and give power to live henceforth in purity, keeping herself for that holy covenant of marriage alone as Thou hast ordained. Let her not be held in bondage through fear, but let her know that the inhabitant shall not say, I am sick, for the people that dwell therein shall be forgiven their iniquity. Keep her, heal her, and make her wholly Thine, for Jesus sake. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
