Anonymous
Beloved of All
I am in so much pain right now. The holidays are really tough, and my birthday quickly follows. Every year I feel more and more lonely. Last year I spent my entire birthday sobbing... I thought this year would be different. But I feel more pain, grief and heartache. I had a bad breakup not too long ago, and many disappointments when it comes to relationships. Each heartbreak makes me more and more hopeless that I will ever find love.... And now I have the holidays to face alone -- when I thought this year would be different -- my birthday to spend alone, and my sister is getting married in a couple of months which puts salt on all my heartache. The man I broke up with was going to spend the holidays, my birthday, and go to the wedding with me. And there was so much joy... now there is so much heartache. and pain. I am all alone.... I want to love so badly, and to be loved. But everyone abandons me, and never thinks that I am good enough for them. Everytime I feel an inkling of hope, I am crushed. It's as if life is playing the same cruel joke on me over and over again. I will never have kids, as my clock is quickly ticking. And I no longer believe that I am deserving of a good man in my life. They all leave... or don't think that I am worth their time. I hurt. So bad. And am currently surrounded by constant reminder of the family, children, and love that will never be mine to experience. I am destroyed. I can't seem to find peace. All I do is cry and think of the day that God takes me and lets me rest in death.... Life seems hopeless. Blessings and thank you for your prayers.
