We hear the deep weariness and heartache in your words, and we want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle. The pain of a broken marriage is one of the most difficult burdens to bear, and it is understandable that you feel exhausted, hopeless, and ready to surrender. But before you let go completely, let us turn to the Word of God together, for He is the One who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). He is also the God who specializes in the impossible, who can restore what seems beyond repair if it aligns with His will.
First, we must acknowledge that marriage is a covenant before God, not merely a human contract. In Malachi 2:16, the Lord says, *"For I hate divorce," says Yahweh, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with violence!"* This does not mean you are trapped in suffering without hope, but it does mean that God takes the commitment of marriage seriously, and so should we. The call to marriage is a call to reflect Christ’s love for His Church—a love that is sacrificial, patient, and enduring (Ephesians 5:25-33). Yet we also know that marriage requires two people who are willing to submit to God’s design, to repent, to forgive, and to work toward reconciliation. If one spouse hardens their heart, it creates an immense burden for the other.
You mention that you no longer care, that you are tired, and that you want to forgive and forget. Forgiveness is not optional for the believer—it is a command. In Colossians 3:13, we are told, *"bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do."* Forgiveness does not mean what your husband did was acceptable or that trust is automatically restored. It means releasing the debt of his wrongs into God’s hands, freeing yourself from the bitterness that will only destroy you. Unforgiveness is a poison we drink hoping it will harm someone else, but it only harms us. We urge you to ask God to help you forgive, not for your husband’s sake, but for your own freedom in Christ.
At the same time, we must ask: Have you truly surrendered this marriage to God, or have you surrendered to despair? There is a difference. Surrendering to God means laying your pain, your husband, and your marriage at His feet and saying, *"Not my will, but Yours be done"* (Luke 22:42). It means trusting that God sees what you cannot see and that He is able to work in ways you cannot imagine. It may be that God is calling you to stand in the gap for your husband in prayer, even when you feel you have nothing left. In Ezekiel 22:30, God laments, *"I sought for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I wouldn’t destroy it; but I found none."* Could it be that God is asking you to be that person for your husband, not in your own strength, but by the power of the Holy Spirit?
We also notice that your prayer does not invoke the name of Jesus. This is not a small matter. Jesus Himself said, *"Most certainly I tell you, whatever you will ask of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now, you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be made full"* (John 16:23-24). There is no other name by which we are saved, no other name that has the power to transform hearts and situations. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father (John 14:6). If you have not already, we urge you to place your faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, repenting of your sins and trusting in His finished work on the cross. Without Him, there is no true hope, no lasting peace, and no power to forgive or be forgiven.
Now, let us address something else that must be said: Have you examined your own heart in this situation? It is easy to focus on your husband’s flaws, but Scripture calls us to first remove the plank from our own eye before addressing the speck in another’s (Matthew 7:3-5). This is not to say you are to blame for the struggles in your marriage, but humility before God requires us to ask: *Have I loved my husband as Christ loves the Church? Have I respected him as Scripture commands (Ephesians 5:33)? Have I prayed for him fervently, or have I allowed bitterness to take root?* These are hard questions, but they are necessary. God often uses our trials to refine us, to draw us closer to Him, and to conform us to the image of His Son.
If your husband is unwilling to repent, unwilling to seek God, or unwilling to work toward reconciliation, then you must trust God’s sovereignty. You cannot force his heart to change—that is the work of the Holy Spirit. But you can choose to obey God in how you respond. In 1 Peter 3:1-2, wives are instructed, *"In the same way, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; so that, even if any don’t obey the Word, they may be won by the behavior of their wives without a word; seeing your pure behavior in fear."* This does not mean submitting to abuse or sin, but it does mean that your godly response—your patience, your kindness, your refusal to retaliate—can be a powerful testimony. If your husband is hardened, your obedience to God may be the very thing that pricks his conscience.
That said, if there is unrepentant sin in your husband’s life—such as adultery, abuse, or abandonment—you are not required by Scripture to remain in harm’s way. In such cases, separation may be necessary for safety and to allow space for repentance (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). But even then, the goal should be restoration if possible. If your husband has abandoned the faith or the marriage, then you are not bound (1 Corinthians 7:15). These are weighty matters, and we encourage you to seek wise, biblical counsel from a pastor or trusted believers who can walk with you through this.
Finally, let us pray with you and for you, lifting this burden to the Lord who cares for you deeply.
---
**Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up our sister who is weary, broken, and at the end of her strength. Lord, You see the depths of her pain, the exhaustion in her soul, and the tears she has shed in secret. We ask that You would meet her in this place of surrender, not with condemnation, but with Your tender mercy and grace.
Father, we pray that You would give her the strength to forgive her husband as You have forgiven her. Help her to release the bitterness, the resentment, and the desire to give up. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, guarding her heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Remind her that You are close to the brokenhearted and that You collect every tear she has cried (Psalm 34:18, Psalm 56:8).
Lord, we ask that You would work in her husband’s heart. Soften what is hard, convict what is unrepentant, and draw him to Yourself. If it is Your will, restore this marriage for Your glory. Give our sister wisdom to know how to respond, whether to stand and pray, to seek counsel, or to take steps of faithful obedience even when the outcome is uncertain. Surround her with Your people who can support her, encourage her, and speak truth into her life.
Father, we also ask that You would examine her heart. Reveal to her any areas where she needs to repent, any ways she has contributed to the brokenness, not to shame her, but to heal her and make her more like Jesus. Teach her to love as You love, to hope as You hope, and to trust as You trust.
And Lord, if this marriage is beyond restoration, if her husband has hardened his heart beyond repentance, then we pray that You would give her the grace to walk forward in faith. Comfort her in her grief, provide for her needs, and show her the next steps You have for her. Let her know that her worth is not found in her marriage, but in You alone.
We rebuked any spirit of despair, hopelessness, or bitterness that would seek to destroy her. We declare that You, Lord, are her hope and her portion. May she find her strength in You, her joy in You, and her future in You.
In the precious and powerful name of Jesus we pray, Amen.***
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
