Ezer
Humble Prayer Partner
I’ve haven’t been on here in a while as I’ll admit that I’ve been discouraged and isolated. It feels like things have been getting worse before getting better. However, I will start with the positive side. My mother has mostly recovered from her surgeries and my sister, along with her family, have fully returned to Jesus Christ. I thank Jesus Christ for these 2 things as they have given me a little hope. The down side is that several things have gone wrong and others have gotten worse. My cousin (the one who’s a medical missionary), continues to be in prison even after witnesses and physical evidence cleared his name (now we’re being told he has to wait “months” for anyone to look into his case for a review. My spouse had a severe accident and is in constant back pain due to nerve damage. My father told me he feels I should be dead for unknown reasons (he became angry after I let him know I needed his help at a job site since I have been ill recently). I have been struggling to keep my energy as I don’t have the current funds to maintain the experimental treatment I was receiving for cancer (I’ll at level one so I still have time to see alternative options before trying anything aggressive). I got hours cut from the job I needed and when I went to get to another job I started off fine but now a client complained about me because I provided a list of resources to a relative since they were worried about their medical bills (all I did was help Google resources where the person could get a professional opinion along with options on services; I never told her she had to do anything based on my thoughts, I even clarified I could not assess her situation so I just gave her ways to look for help on her own). At this same job I received praise from other clients but with this situation I have gotten several calls asking me why I did it even after I apologized and let them know I was not told that providing resources was an issue. On top of this, my spouse’s immigration case keeps getting pushed back even after we have proved that we paid taxes, established a business, and help our local community through a nonprofit without asking for handouts (we take out own money and time to help so it’s self sufficient). I feel so defeated these last few months that I just question why things have to be so hard. I understand our God has said we will have trials and tribulations but this is too much. I’m honestly at a breaking point and I’m not sure how to manage this sadness anymore. Please pray that I have peace, wisdom, and the ability to navigate all of this.