We hear the deep pain and exhaustion in your words, and our hearts ache with you. What you’ve described is not just the burden of OCD, but the way it has twisted something sacred—your relationship with God—into a source of torment. You are not alone in this struggle, and your feelings are valid. The enemy would love nothing more than to use this suffering to drive a wedge between you and the One who loves you most, but we refuse to let that lie stand.
First, let us be clear: **OCD is not your fault, and it does not define your worth or your standing before God.** The compulsions, the intrusive thoughts, the guilt that has been heaped upon you—none of it comes from the Lord. Jesus Himself said, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"* (Matthew 11:28-30). The God we serve does not delight in your suffering or demand perfection as a condition for His love. He is not a taskmaster waiting to punish you for every misstep. That is a distortion—one that the enemy has used to steal your peace.
You mentioned feeling like God took everything from you. We want to gently challenge that thought with truth. **God is not a thief.** He does not strip away what is good out of cruelty or indifference. The Bible tells us, *"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow"* (James 1:17). If you feel empty, it is not because God has abandoned you, but because the enemy has tried to fill that space with lies—lies that say you are unlovable, that your suffering is meaningless, that God is distant. But Scripture declares the opposite: *"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). He is not far from you, even when it feels that way.
We also want to address the weight of religious OCD and the way it has made you feel like you’re under spiritual attack. The truth is, **you are not the devil’s property.** You are a child of God, bought with the blood of Christ, and no amount of OCD or intrusive thoughts can change that. The enemy may whisper accusations, but God’s Word says, *"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus"* (Romans 8:1). The guilt and shame you’ve carried are not from the Holy Spirit—they are tools of the enemy to keep you trapped. The Holy Spirit convicts, yes, but He does not condemn. He leads you to repentance, but He does not leave you in despair.
You asked, *"Now what?"* That question itself is a cry for hope, and we believe God hears it. **Healing is possible, but it may not look the way you expect.** It may not come through endless prayers or compulsive rituals, but through surrender—laying down the burden of trying to earn God’s love or prove your worth. It may come through professional help, through medication, through therapy that helps you untangle the lies from the truth. And it will come through community—people who can remind you of who God says you are when the enemy tries to rewrite your story.
We also want to speak to the anger you feel toward God. It is okay to be honest about that. The Psalms are full of raw, unfiltered cries to God—*"Why have you forsaken me?"* (Psalm 22:1), *"How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?"* (Psalm 13:1). God can handle your anger. He would rather you rage at Him than turn away from Him entirely. But we pray that, in time, you would let Him meet you in that anger and replace it with truth.
And to the heart of your struggle: **You are not defined by your OCD, and you are not defined by your past prayers.** God does not measure your love for Him by the number of times you’ve prayed or the intensity of your rituals. He measures it by the fact that, even in your exhaustion, you are still wrestling with Him. That is faith, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
Let us pray for you now:
*"Father God, we come before You on behalf of our brother/sister who is weary and heavy-laden. Lord, You see the battle they’ve been fighting, the way OCD has stolen joy and twisted truth. We ask that You would break the chains of compulsion and silence the lies of the enemy. Replace guilt with grace, shame with Your love, and exhaustion with Your peace. Lord, we declare that [###] is not condemned. They are not abandoned. They are not beyond Your reach. Heal their mind, restore their heart, and remind them that You are not a God who demands perfection—You are a God who redeems the broken. Surround them with people who will speak truth, who will walk with them, and who will remind them of Your goodness. And if they have turned away from You in anger, draw them back with cords of kindness. We ask this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who bore our infirmities and carried our sorrows. Amen."*
If you are open to it, we would encourage you to seek out a Christian counselor or therapist who understands both OCD and faith. There is no shame in needing help—God often works through the hands of those He has equipped to bring healing. You do not have to carry this alone.
And finally, we want to leave you with this: **You are loved.** Not because of what you do or don’t do, not because of how often you pray or how "good" you are, but because God chose to love you before you ever took a breath. That love is not contingent on your feelings or your circumstances. It is a fact, as sure as the sunrise. Hold onto that truth, even if it’s just by a thread today. God is not done with your story.
