We hear the deep pain, anger, and exhaustion in your words, and our hearts ache with you. The wounds you describe—betrayal, rejection, abuse, and the feeling of being utterly abandoned by those who should have loved you—are not things to be dismissed or minimized. You have carried burdens that no one should have to bear, and the bitterness you feel is understandable. But we must speak truth to you, even as we weep with you, because the path you are walking now leads only to deeper darkness, not the healing you so desperately need.
First, we must address the name of Jesus Christ, for it is the only name by which any of us can be saved or find true freedom. You mention "God Almighty" and "the Lord," but you do not acknowledge the name of Jesus, who is the only way to the Father. Jesus said, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me"* (John 14:6). There is no other mediator between God and man—no energy, no force, no other name that can save. If you do not surrender to Christ, you remain under the power of the very evil you are trying to escape. Satan and his forces *want* you to believe you can fight them on your own, because that keeps you from the only One who has already defeated them. *"For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world: your faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?"* (1 John 5:4-5). We plead with you: stop trying to fight this battle alone. Jesus is the only one who can break the chains that bind you.
You speak of changing your name, cutting off all ties, and trying to erase your past as if that could free you. But the Bible tells us that true freedom comes not from running or hiding, but from being made new in Christ. *"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new"* (2 Corinthians 5:17). You cannot outrun your pain by changing your name or shutting out the world. The enemy will always find a way to follow you until you surrender to the One who has already won the war. You say you want nothing to do with Satan and his crew, but if you are not under the blood of Jesus, you are still under their influence. *"He who is not with me is against me, and he who doesn’t gather with me scatters"* (Matthew 12:30). There is no neutral ground.
You express deep anger toward the men who have hurt you, and rightfully so—abuse, betrayal, and exploitation are evil, and God hates them. But your response of becoming "heartless" and wishing evil upon them is not the path of Christ. Jesus calls us to a higher standard, even when it feels impossible. *"But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you"* (Matthew 5:44). This does not mean you should trust or reconcile with those who have harmed you—God does not call you to be a doormat. But harboring hatred in your heart will only poison you further. The men who hurt you will answer to God for their sins, but if you cling to bitterness, you give them power over you long after they are gone. *"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many"* (Hebrews 12:15).
You say you no longer desire God’s marriage or intimacy because of the pain you have endured. We understand why you feel this way—sexual abuse and exploitation are violations that leave deep scars. But God’s design for marriage is not the problem; sin is. Marriage was created to reflect Christ’s love for His church (Ephesians 5:25-32), and though it has been twisted by the evil in this world, it is still a sacred covenant. Your pain does not mean God’s plan for you is void. It means you need healing. Jesus came to *"bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to those who are bound"* (Isaiah 61:1). He can restore what has been stolen from you, but you must let Him in. Closing your heart to love will not bring you peace—it will only deepen your isolation.
You speak of giving up on the world, on ministry, on singing for the Lord, and even on hope itself. But the Bible tells us that God has not given up on you. *"For I know the plans I have for you,” says Yahweh, “plans for peace, and not for evil, to give you hope and a future"* (Jeremiah 29:11). The enemy wants you to believe that your story is over, that you are too broken to be used by God. But God specializes in taking what is shattered and making it whole. *"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). You were not made to be "stupid" or to be treated as less than—you were made in the image of God, and He has a purpose for you that no one can take away.
You mention that your family has been poisoned against you, and this is one of the deepest wounds a person can endure. Family is meant to be a refuge, but when it becomes a source of pain, the grief is overwhelming. Yet even here, God sees you. *"When my father and my mother forsake me, then Yahweh will take me up"* (Psalm 27:10). He is your Father, and He will never abandon you. You cannot heal your family, but you can surrender them to God. Pray for them, even if it feels impossible. *"Bless those who persecute you; bless, and don’t curse"* (Romans 12:14). This does not mean you must reconcile with those who have harmed you, but it means you release the bitterness so it does not destroy you.
You say you no longer care about sex or God’s marriage, and we understand why. But we must warn you: shutting down your heart completely is not the answer. God created you for intimacy—not just physical, but emotional and spiritual. The enemy wants you to believe that love is not worth the risk, but that is a lie. Jesus came to restore what was broken, and that includes your capacity to love and be loved. *"He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds"* (Psalm 147:3). You do not have to remain in this place of hardness. God can soften your heart again, but you must let Him.
You speak of the world as if it is entirely evil, and in many ways, it is broken. But God so loved this world that He sent His Son to save it (John 3:16). The world is not beyond redemption, and neither are you. You say you have nothing left to give, but God does not call the equipped—He equips the called. You may feel like you have nothing to offer, but God can use even the smallest act of obedience. *"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong"* (1 Corinthians 1:27). You are not forgotten. You are not abandoned. You are deeply loved by the One who created you.
We rebuke the lies of the enemy in your life—the lies that say you are worthless, that you will never be loved, that you are beyond healing. These are not from God. *"The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly"* (John 10:10). The enemy has stolen much from you, but Jesus came to give you life—real, abundant, eternal life. You do not have to live in the shadows anymore.
We pray for you now, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the only name that has power to save and heal:
Father God, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this precious child of Yours who is hurting so deeply. Lord, You see every wound, every betrayal, every moment of pain that has led to this place of anger and despair. We ask that You would break through the hardness of heart and the walls that have been built up. Jesus, we declare that You are the way, the truth, and the life—there is no other name by which we can be saved. We plead the blood of Jesus over this life, that every chain of bitterness, every lie of the enemy, and every spirit of despair would be broken right now.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of isolation and the lie that this person is alone. You promised never to leave us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), and we claim that promise now. Father, we ask that You would surround this child with Your presence, that they would feel Your love in a tangible way. Heal the wounds of abuse and betrayal. Restore what has been stolen. Soften the heart that has grown hard, and replace bitterness with Your peace.
We pray for protection over this life. Bind every evil spirit that has been assigned to harass, torment, or deceive. We declare that no weapon formed against this child of God will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Lord, we ask that You would reveal Yourself in a powerful way—through Your Word, through dreams, through the love of Your people. Let this person know that You are near, that You see them, and that You have a future for them.
Father, we pray for restoration in every area of life. If there is a calling to ministry, to music, to love—we ask that You would revive it. If there is a desire for marriage, we pray that You would bring a godly spouse who will love and cherish this person as Christ loves the church. If there is a need for family reconciliation, we ask that You would work in the hearts of those who have caused pain. But most of all, Lord, we pray that this child would come to know You intimately—that they would experience the depth of Your love and the power of Your grace.
We declare that the past does not define this life. The enemy has no claim here. Every curse, every word spoken against this person, we break it in the name of Jesus. We declare freedom, healing, and wholeness. We declare that this is a child of the Most High God, created for a purpose, and that purpose will be fulfilled.
Lord, we ask that You would give this person the strength to forgive—not because those who hurt them deserve it, but because unforgiveness only hurts the one who carries it. Help them to release the pain into Your hands. Fill them with Your Holy Spirit, that they would walk in the power and authority that is theirs as a child of God.
We thank You, Father, that You are a God who hears, a God who heals, and a God who restores. We trust You with this life, and we declare that the best is yet to come. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
You are not alone. You are not forgotten. You are loved more than you can imagine by the One who gave His life for you. The road to healing is not easy, but it is possible. We urge you to seek out a Bible-believing church or a Christian counselor who can walk with you. The enemy wants you to believe that you are beyond help, but that is a lie. God’s arms are open wide, and He is waiting for you to run to Him. *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest"* (Matthew 11:28). Will you come?