We hear the deep longing in your heart for companionship, love, and comfort—a desire that God Himself has placed within us, for He said in Genesis 2:18, *"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him."* Your cry for a wife who embodies gentleness, loyalty, and devotion is understood, but we must first address some concerns in your request that do not align with biblical truth, so that your heart may be rightly prepared for what God intends.
First, we notice that your request centers heavily on what a wife would do *for you*—her devotion to you, her worship of you, her constant presence to heal and comfort you. While marriage is indeed a gift of companionship, Scripture calls husbands to *love their wives as Christ loved the church* (Ephesians 5:25), sacrificially and selflessly, not to seek a wife who exists primarily to serve their own needs. A godly marriage is not about one partner fulfilling the other’s every emotional or physical desire, but about two sinners saved by grace, submitting to one another in reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). The focus must first be on *giving* love, not merely *receiving* it.
Second, you mention that this wife would *"always worships me."* This is deeply concerning, for worship belongs to God alone. Exodus 20:3-5 commands, *"You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourselves an idol... You shall not bow yourself down to them, nor serve them."* No human—no spouse—should ever be the object of worship. That place is reserved for the Lord Jesus Christ alone. If you are seeking a wife who will elevate you to a place of adoration that belongs to God, this is idolatry, and it will lead to destruction. A godly wife will honor and respect you (Ephesians 5:33), but her ultimate devotion must be to Christ, as must yours.
Third, you speak of physical intimacy—*"sleeps with me every night, kisses me"*—and while sexual intimacy is a beautiful and God-ordained part of marriage (Hebrews 13:4), it must never be the *primary* focus of your desire for a spouse. Song of Solomon celebrates the physical love between a husband and wife, but it is always within the context of covenant commitment, not self-gratification. If your longing for a wife is driven more by loneliness or physical desire than by a call to sacrificial love and leadership, you may not yet be ready for marriage. Purity of heart and motive is essential.
Fourth, we notice that your request does not mention the name of Jesus Christ. This is a critical oversight, for it is *only* through Jesus that we have access to the Father (John 14:6). There is no other name by which we are saved (Acts 4:12), and no prayer is heard apart from Him. If you do not yet know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, your first and most urgent need is not a wife, but salvation. *"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9). Without Christ, no earthly relationship—no matter how loving—can satisfy the deepest longings of your soul.
Now, let us speak truth in love: Your desires reveal a heart that is hurting, lonely, and perhaps even fearful of being unloved. These are real and valid struggles, and God sees them. But He does not call you to seek ultimate fulfillment in a wife. He calls you to find your identity, security, and worth in *Him*. Psalm 147:3 says, *"He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds."* Jesus is the only One who can truly heal your body and mind, who will *never* leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). If you are placing the burden of your emotional and spiritual healing on a future wife, you will crush her—and yourself—under impossible expectations. No human can bear that weight. Only Christ can.
We also urge you to examine whether you are *prepared* to be the husband God calls you to be. Are you walking in obedience to His Word? Are you growing in faith, purity, and selflessness? 1 Timothy 3:2-5 outlines the qualifications for an elder, but these are also a standard for godly husbands: *"The husband of one wife, sober, sensible, modest, hospitable, apt to teach; not a drunkard, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having children in subjection with all reverence."* Before asking God for a wife, ask Him to shape *you* into the man who can lead, love, and cherish her as Christ does the church.
Finally, we must address the tone of your request, which leans toward *demanding* these things from God rather than humbly seeking His will. James 4:3 warns, *"You ask and don’t receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it for your pleasures."* God is not a cosmic vending machine who exists to grant our wishes. He is a loving Father who knows what is best for us—even when it doesn’t align with our immediate desires. Trust His timing. Seek His kingdom *first*, and He will provide what you need (Matthew 6:33).
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**Let us pray for you:**
Heavenly Father, we lift up this brother before You, knowing that You see the depths of his heart and the ache of his loneliness. Lord, we ask that You would first draw him into a deeper, saving relationship with Jesus Christ if he does not yet know You. Open his eyes to see that *You* are the only One who can satisfy his soul, who will never leave him nor forsake him. Forgive him for any idolatry in his heart—whether the idol of self, the idol of a wife, or the idol of comfort. Cleanse him and renew his mind by Your Word.
Father, if this man is already Yours, we pray that You would convict him of any selfishness or ungodly expectations in his desire for a wife. Teach him to seek a marriage that honors You—one built on mutual love, respect, and submission to Christ. Prepare him to be a husband who loves sacrificially, as You have loved us. Break any stronghold of fear, loneliness, or entitlement in his heart, and replace it with trust in Your perfect plan.
Lord, if it is Your will, provide him with a godly wife—a woman who fears You, who will walk beside him in faith, and who will together with him seek Your kingdom. But even more, we pray that You would be his all in all. Heal his wounds, Father. Fill the empty places in his heart with Your presence. Let him find his joy in You, so that if You call him to singleness for a season or for life, he may still say with the psalmist, *"The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him"* (Lamentations 3:24).
Give him patience, Lord. Guard his heart and mind from impurity, from bitterness, and from the lies of the enemy that say he must have a wife to be whole. Remind him that You are making all things beautiful in Your time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Surround him with godly community—brothers in Christ who will encourage him, hold him accountable, and point him to You.
And Father, if there is any sin in his life—any unforgiveness, lust, or selfishness—bring it to light and grant him repentance. May he walk in holiness, so that when You do bring a wife into his life, he will be ready to lead her in righteousness.
We ask all this in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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