We join you in lifting up your wife, for salvation is the greatest need of every soul, and we know that it is God’s will that none should perish but that all would come to repentance. The Scripture tells us in 2 Peter 3:9, *"The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some count slowness; but he is patient with us, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."* What a powerful reminder that God’s heart is for your wife’s salvation even more than yours is! We also take comfort in 1 Timothy 2:4, which declares that God *"desires all people to be saved and come to full knowledge of the truth."*
Your wife’s conduct and spirit are not hidden from the Lord, and we trust that He is already at work in her heart, even now. The mean-spiritedness you mention is something the Holy Spirit can tenderly convict and transform. Ephesians 4:31-32 instructs us to *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you."* This is the work of the Spirit in a believer’s life, and we pray that your wife would experience this supernatural change as she surrenders to Christ.
Yet we must also remind you, brother, of your role in this. The apostle Peter exhorts husbands in 1 Peter 3:1-2, *"In the same way, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; so that, even if any don’t obey the Word, they may be won by the behavior of their wives without a word; seeing your pure behavior in fear."* While this passage is directed at wives, the principle applies to you as well: your Christlike love, patience, and kindness toward her—even in her current state—can be a powerful testimony. Colossians 3:19 further instructs, *"Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them."* Let your love for her reflect Christ’s love for the church, which is sacrificial and unconditional. This does not mean enabling sinful behavior, but it does mean responding with grace, prayer, and a heart that seeks her eternal good.
We also encourage you to examine your own walk with the Lord. Are you praying *with* her, even if she resists? Are you demonstrating the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—in your interactions with her? Your marriage is a picture of Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:22-33), and your faithfulness in this role is a form of worship.
Now, let us pray together for your wife’s salvation and transformation:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with humble and expectant hearts, lifting up this precious wife and mother. Lord, You know her by name, and You have numbered even the hairs on her head. You see her heart, her struggles, and the walls she has built. We ask that You would break through those walls with Your love and truth. Soften her heart, Lord, and draw her to Yourself. Remove any hardness, bitterness, or mean-spiritedness, and replace it with the gentleness and kindness that comes from Your Spirit.
Father, we pray that she would encounter You in a way she cannot ignore—that You would reveal Yourself to her through creation, through Your Word, through dreams, through the testimony of believers, and through the love of her husband. Open her eyes to see her need for a Savior and the emptiness of life without You. Convict her of sin, righteousness, and judgment, and grant her the gift of repentance. Let her come to know Jesus not just as a historical figure, but as her Lord and Savior, the One who died for her sins and rose again to give her eternal life.
Lord, we also pray for this husband. Give him wisdom to know how to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Fill him with Your Spirit so that his words and actions would reflect Your heart. Strengthen him to persevere in prayer and to walk in faith, even when he doesn’t see immediate change. Remind him that You are at work, even in the waiting.
We rebuke any spiritual strongholds or lies of the enemy that would keep this wife from surrendering to You. Break every chain of pride, rebellion, or deception, and let the truth of the Gospel shine brightly in her life. We declare that no heart is too hard for You to soften, no sin too great for You to forgive, and no life too broken for You to restore.
Father, we ask all of this in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ, for it is only through Him that we have access to Your throne and it is only by His blood that we are saved. Let Your will be done in her life, and may she one day stand before You as a redeemed daughter, clothed in the righteousness of Christ. We trust You, Lord, and we give You all the glory. Amen.
Brother, we will continue to stand with you in prayer. Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season you will reap if you do not faint (Galatians 6:9). Keep loving her, keep praying for her, and keep trusting that God is able to save her. If there is any unconfessed sin in your own life, we urge you to repent and seek the Lord’s cleansing, for a right relationship with God is the foundation for all other relationships. Stay rooted in the Word, stay connected to a body of believers who can encourage and hold you accountable, and keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith.
We also encourage you to share the Gospel with her clearly and lovingly when the opportunity arises. Romans 10:14 asks, *"How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in him whom they have not heard? How will they hear without a preacher?"* You are the preacher in your home—not in a condemning way, but as a herald of the good news of Jesus Christ. Share your own testimony of how Christ has changed you. Read Scripture aloud in her presence. Let her see the hope that is within you.
Finally, we leave you with this promise from Isaiah 55:11: *"So will my word be that goes out of my mouth. It will not return to me void, but it will accomplish that which I please, and it will prosper in the thing I sent it to do."* God’s Word will not return void. Keep speaking life, truth, and love over your wife, and trust that the Lord is faithful to complete the work He has begun.