Liana256
Beloved Servant
Jesus, My husband, Carl, has said his first set of children are dead to him. I know how Carl works, I told him he’s lying, he loves them more than he loves anyone in this world, (‘cept me and how much I love God, Jesus, my mother and father, my children, brothers, sisters, relatives, prayer warriors, true followers of you Lord) and the only reason he is with me so he can have a feeling from me because how he feels, he has insecurities, don’t trusts no one, he feels like he don’t care, and I’m tired of feeling for him, I’m tired, he has no feelings for me or anyone else in our home, he is immature, he don’t listen to what anyone says, he says he don’t understand me and he is disrespectful, rude, always angry at me and his moma and daddy and his other siblings for loving their parents. I asked him to leave, he said he don’t have any where else to go, I told him he’s lying, he can go back home and send all that hate and insecurities back to where he learned it, because I didn’t do any of those things to him. That is how he truly feels, he hates, he is insecure, he says he wishes his mother was dead and I tell him no, you love your mother, she might not be one who knows how to love the way you want but, she took care of you the only way she knew how too. He is judgmental about all the people I know. He thinks he’s better than anyone else and he’s not. I am tired of carrying his dead weight, my burdens have become heavy, I have children by myself and I need to meet their needs, and I pray I lighten myself and I lighten them. I don’t bad mouth him to our children or my children, I have better things to talk about. I pray I free myself from Carl, I don’t wish or won’t to be like him, I pray I am like me, who God made me to be, and all I make up to be. I am kind, generous, stupid sometimes, I pray for others. I pray for a customer of mine, I’m not sure his prayer, I pray for him though. I also pray for Melissa, she had stints put in, I pray the stints help her and her grandbaby was sick and he just got out of the hospital, I pray he will be healthy a while. Poor thing needs to be nourished to good health. I pray me and my brother can go visit our real father’s grave in North Carolina. He abandoned us when we were little because him and my mother divorced, and he met another lady and I don’t think she didn’t won’t him having anything to do with us. That must have been a burden for him to carry for so long. I still want to go visit his graveside and bring flowers. I am thankful someone took the time out of their life to care for me and my brother, and accept us as their child, but, not their child, we were adopted in with words and love and punishment, but without having papers. God, I know you did that. Thank you! Jesus, In your name, I pray. Amen
