My ### is treated badly by family member

[Eroudardarr]

Please pray for my wife ###. She is Indonesian and we have a baby daughter ###. I live in ### but will join her in ### years' time. She lives with her mother in ### and her siblings are married and live elsewhere. They also live far away because her mum is very controlling. My wife is only valuable when she has money. And treats her badly when she has none, treating her like a child. Then speaking highly whenever anyone gives her money. She does not care about my wife, but my wife has always been there to support. Now gossiping and lies are going round by persons who don't know how much my wife sacrifices for the family and only spread bad words. Her mum does not defend her daughter because she only cares about her image and standing in the community. My daughter is used many times with no appreciation. My wife is hurting so much when she is not appreciated and tired of being used. The mother uses threats and drama to control my wife, saying she will die if she leaves. She plays sick if she can't get her way and even blames the daughter for sickness. This has gone on for a long time. Last time the mother in the early hours of the morning said she needed to go to the hospital. The doctor said she is healthy and asked why did you drag your daughter, who has a child, to the hospital. She does not care that my wife is so tired and so stressed. The mother thinks everything is centered around her and calls my wife lazy and no good. And now agreeing with a sister-in-law who says she is ugly. I am in ### for Christmas, even so the community is Christian. It is so obsessed with money.

In the next day I will be returning to ###. But before leaving I will be speaking directly to the mother with an interpreter to say my wife will be moving to another accommodation with our baby daughter. We hope in the next couple of months' time. This is a long time coming but my wife, our family is more important. Too long other family members complain but don't take responsibility and stay away. They just expect my wife, who is the oldest, to deal with problems. They just send money and think they have done enough.

The mother-in-law will probably play a drama to manipulate and control, but my wife is so mentally exhausted and this needs to be done. Please pray that God guides us to find the right accommodation, and so we can start living as a family without interference. That the mother can accept and realize she did wrong. Please pray for the Holy Spirit to guide us in the transition for having our own home. That my daughter is protected from any more negativity. It is very disheartening living in another country knowing what my wife goes through; she prays and constantly goes out of the way to help others.

I want with the new year being a new beginning and want God's blessing in our family. ###

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart and the deep pain this situation has caused your wife, your marriage, and your precious daughter. The way your wife has been treated—used, devalued, and manipulated—is not only unjust but grieves the heart of God, who calls us to love and honor one another as His children. Scripture tells us, *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you"* (Ephesians 4:31-32). The behavior of your mother-in-law and others in this family dynamic falls far short of God’s design for love, respect, and selflessness.

It is clear your wife has shown extraordinary patience, sacrifice, and grace in this situation, even when others have failed to reciprocate. Her worth is not defined by her financial contributions or the approval of her family—her value comes from being fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God (Psalm 139:14). The way she has been spoken to—called "lazy," "no good," or "ugly"—is not only cruel but sinful. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us, *"Death and life are in the power of the tongue,"* and words like these can wound deeply. We rebuke the lies of the enemy that have been spoken over her and declare that she is a woman of dignity, strength, and godly character.

We also must address the manipulation and control tactics being used—threats of death, feigned illness, and emotional blackmail are not tools of a godly parent. These are tactics of fear, not love. Scripture is clear: *"Fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord"* (Ephesians 6:4). While this verse speaks to fathers, the principle applies to all parents—children are to be nurtured, not exploited or emotionally harmed. Your mother-in-law’s actions are a distortion of God’s design for family, and we pray for conviction to come upon her heart.

Your decision to establish a separate home for your wife and daughter is not only wise but necessary. It is not wrong to set boundaries in love, especially when those boundaries protect your marriage and your child from further harm. Jesus Himself said, *"If your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it from you. It is better for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the Gehenna of fire"* (Matthew 18:9). While this verse speaks to sin, the principle applies here—sometimes we must make difficult choices to protect what is holy and sacred, like your marriage and family. You are not abandoning your mother-in-law; you are prioritizing the well-being of your wife and child, which is your God-given responsibility as a husband and father (Ephesians 5:25-29, 6:4).

We also want to affirm your role as the spiritual leader of your home. It is commendable that you are stepping in to protect and provide for your family. Too often, men are passive in the face of family conflict, but you are taking action in a way that honors God. Your wife needs your strength, your leadership, and your love now more than ever. As you prepare to speak with your mother-in-law, we pray for wisdom, clarity, and peace. May the Holy Spirit guide your words and soften her heart to receive the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).

Now, let us come before the Lord in prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this family to You. Lord, You see the pain, the exhaustion, and the injustice that has been done to this precious wife and mother. We ask that You would be her comfort, her strength, and her shield in this time of transition. Father, we pray for the Holy Spirit to guide them as they seek a new home—a place of peace, safety, and refuge where they can thrive as a family. Provide the right accommodation, Lord, and open doors that no one can shut. Protect their hearts from fear and doubt, and let them trust in Your provision (Philippians 4:19).

We pray for the mother-in-law, Lord. Soften her heart to see the harm she has caused and to repent of her manipulation and control. Convict her of the ways she has devalued her daughter and used her granddaughter. May she come to a place of humility and seek reconciliation, not through drama or threats, but through genuine remorse and change. If she will not repent, Lord, we ask that You would bind the spirit of strife and division in this family and release Your peace in its place.

Father, we declare protection over this little daughter. Guard her heart, her mind, and her spirit from the negativity and manipulation she has witnessed. Let her grow up knowing she is loved, valued, and cherished by You and by her parents. May she see Your goodness in the love of her family and grow into a woman of faith and strength.

Lord, we also pray for this husband as he leads his family. Give him wisdom, patience, and courage as he navigates this difficult conversation with his mother-in-law. Let his words be seasoned with grace and truth, and may he stand firm in the decisions he has made to protect his marriage and his child. Strengthen his faith and fill him with Your peace as he trusts in You for the future.

Finally, Lord, we ask for a fresh outpouring of Your blessing over this family in the new year. Let this be a season of new beginnings—a time where they can build a home that honors You, where love, respect, and godly order are the foundation. Heal the wounds of the past, restore what has been broken, and let Your joy be their strength. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the One who came to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free. Amen.

As you move forward, remember that God is your refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1). You are not alone in this battle, and the Lord will fight for you. Continue to seek Him in prayer, lean on His promises, and trust that He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). Your wife’s sacrifices have not gone unnoticed by God, and He will reward her faithfulness. Stand firm in your decision, and may your home be a testament to His grace and love.

 

[hostadmin]

We're standing with you and your wife in this challenging situation. It's heartbreaking to see the way she's been treated, but we're here to lift you both up in prayer. We agree that it's time for a change, and we're believing God for a smooth transition into your new home. We pray for His protection over your daughter, wisdom for you as you navigate this conversation with your mother-in-law, and healing for your wife's heart. We declare that your family will be a beacon of love, respect, and godliness in the new year. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.