We hear the deep longing in your heart for a godly marriage, a family centered on Christ, and a life free from the pain of your past. Your desire to escape the world’s influences and live wholly for God is beautiful and aligns with His will for His children. The wounds you carry—betrayal, abuse, loneliness—are heavy, but we stand with you in prayer, believing that God sees your suffering and has a future of hope for you (Jeremiah 29:11). You are not forgotten, and your cries have not gone unnoticed by the One who collects every tear in His bottle (Psalm 56:8).
First, we must address the fear and despair that threaten to overwhelm you. The enemy would love to keep you trapped in the lie that you are unloved or unworthy of a godly husband and family. But Scripture declares that you are *chosen*, *holy*, and *dearly loved* by God (Colossians 3:12). Your worth is not defined by the sins committed against you or the rejection you’ve endured. Christ bore your pain on the cross so that you could walk in freedom (Isaiah 53:5). The loneliness you feel now is not your eternal reality—God promises to be a father to the fatherless and a husband to those who trust in Him (Psalm 68:5, Isaiah 54:5).
Your desire for a husband who fears God, provides faithfully, and loves you sacrificially is a righteous one. Proverbs 18:22 reminds us, *"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from Yahweh."* But we must also caution you: marriage is not an escape from pain or a guarantee of happiness apart from Christ. A godly spouse is a blessing, but your ultimate fulfillment must come from your relationship with Jesus. If you place your hope in a man—or even in the idea of marriage—you risk idolatry, which will only lead to deeper disappointment. Instead, let your longing for a husband drive you *closer* to God, who alone can satisfy the deepest needs of your heart (Psalm 73:25-26).
We also notice your mention of "lazy lustful fear" and the temptation to flee into isolation. The enemy would love for you to withdraw from community, but Scripture commands us not to forsake gathering with other believers (Hebrews 10:25). While your desire to distance yourself from toxic relationships is understandable, cutting off all human connection is not God’s design. You need godly mentors, friends, and a church family who can encourage you, hold you accountable, and help you discern God’s will for your life. Isolation leaves you vulnerable to deception and despair.
Your vision for a large, God-centered family is beautiful, but we must gently remind you that children are a *blessing from the Lord* (Psalm 127:3), not a means to fill an emotional void. If God grants you eight children, it will be because He has equipped you and your future husband to raise them in the fear and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). But we urge you to surrender this number to Him. Parenting is a sacred calling, and it requires wisdom, patience, and reliance on God’s strength—not our own. Trust Him to lead you in this area, just as He leads you in finding a spouse.
Now, let us address the sexual sin in your past. Whether you were a victim or participated willingly, the enemy would love to use shame to keep you in bondage. But Christ’s blood cleanses *all* sin (1 John 1:7), and His grace is greater than your past. If you have not already, we encourage you to confess any unrepentant sin to God and receive His forgiveness (1 John 1:9). You are not defined by what was done to you or what you have done. You are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), and your future is not tainted by your past.
We also must rebuke the spirit of bitterness and revenge that may linger in your heart. Clinging to anger toward those who hurt you will only poison your soul. Jesus commands us to forgive—not because what was done to you was okay, but because unforgiveness chains *you* to the pain (Matthew 6:14-15). This does not mean you must reconcile with unrepentant abusers, but it does mean releasing them to God’s justice and choosing to walk in the freedom of His peace.
Your desire to write and sing for God in your later years is a beautiful calling. Psalm 100:2 says, *"Serve Yahweh with gladness. Come before his presence with singing."* Your gifts are meant to glorify Him, and He will use them mightily if you surrender them to His timing. But we caution you against idolizing this dream as a source of fulfillment. Your identity is not in being a songwriter or a mother—it is in being a daughter of the King. Let your creativity flow from a heart that is first and foremost devoted to Him.
Finally, we must address the urgency in your request. While it is good to desire marriage, we urge you not to rush into a relationship out of fear or desperation. A godly husband is worth waiting for, and God’s timing is perfect (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Use this season to grow in your relationship with Christ, develop godly character, and prepare yourself to be a wife who honors God. Seek Him first, and He will add all these things to you (Matthew 6:33).
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of this precious daughter who is crying out for Your healing and Your will. Lord, You see the pain she carries—the betrayal, the loneliness, the fear. We ask that You would bind up her broken heart and pour Your balm of Gilead over her wounds (Jeremiah 8:22). Replace her despair with hope, her fear with faith, and her loneliness with the assurance that You are always with her (Deuteronomy 31:8).
Father, we pray for her future marriage. Raise up a man after Your own heart who will love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). Let him be a provider, a protector, and a spiritual leader who points her to You. Guard her heart from impatience and desperation, and help her to wait on Your perfect timing. If it is Your will for her to marry, prepare her to be a godly wife and mother, and prepare her future husband to be the man she needs.
Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of her past. Cleanse her from any unrepentant sin, and free her from the lies of the enemy. Help her to forgive those who have hurt her, not for their sake, but for her own freedom. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and let her rest in the knowledge that You are her Defender and Redeemer (Psalm 18:2).
Father, we pray for her calling to serve You through music and ministry. Equip her with the gifts and opportunities to use her talents for Your glory. Let her songs be a fragrant offering to You, and let her life be a testimony of Your faithfulness.
Above all, Lord, draw her closer to You. Let her find her identity, her worth, and her purpose in Christ alone. May she seek You first in all things, trusting that You will provide every good and perfect gift in Your time (James 1:17).
We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, the Name above all names, the One who died to set her free and rose again to give her new life. Amen.
Dear sister, your pain is real, but your God is greater. Do not lose heart. The same God who parted the Red Sea, raised Jesus from the dead, and turned Saul the persecutor into Paul the apostle is at work in your life. He has not abandoned you, and He has not forgotten your dreams. Keep seeking Him with your whole heart, and He will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6). You are not alone—we are praying for you, and more importantly, the Holy Spirit is interceding for you with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26). Trust Him. Wait on Him. And watch how He moves in your life.
