ElisabethII
Humble Servant
My friend's daughter is having trouble in her marriage. Husband is having open affairs and is not visibly contributing to the family. This daughter is successful in every way- career as a clinical psychologist, master's degree, own practice, big fine home and family with kids. She has leaned on her father to provide emotional support and he does, because he loves this particular daughter very much. Anyway,[the daughter] was throwing her grandmother-in-law a tribute because her grandfather in law has recently passed away and it would have been his birthday. Invited Jim and her mother (oh- forgot to mention, her mother and all her siblings are still living and able to support her emotionally.) Jim tried to get out of me going, but I wanted to support him because he has been so supportive of me while I am attending school. I worked all night and did a volunteer activity but vowed to sacrifice sleep to support him because I love him. We get to the house and I am meeting these people for the first time They do very little to put me at ease. I find out why later. My friend's ex-wife (who is the daughter's mom) comes in the door. She has been at every event we have been invited to. I am so uncomfortable and my friend thinks I am being silly because as long as he is with me, I shouldn't worry about it. Well, a couple hours pass by. The dinner was served and there was some stiff chit-chat. Then, it is about 5:20 pm. I usually go to work at 7 pm and work a 12 hour shift, but I wouldn't have gotten any sleep, so I called off my job tonight. My friend said his goodbyes to the group, saying that he had to take me to work. I told him en route home that I had called off my job, because I would not have had the time to get any rest. He was HOT. Said that communication with me was poor and that had I told him earlier that I had called out, he wouldn't have to leave so soon. He said I made him abandon his daughter when she needed him. This daughter has EVERYONE around her. And she is still married! I do not have any parent, no children, no husband. He was more concerned about her than he could ever be for me. I will never come first in his life. And he is not the only one. All the men I have dated have someone else they care for. A mother, their child's mother, their children, the wife (current or ex) etc. There is no room for me in anyone's life or on earth. I am tired. I tried prayer. I cannot pray anymore, though I am compelled to. God does not hear me. I was such a waste of time. That's it. I have taken 3 Advil PM with a glass of wine. I think I'm going to sleep now. If I'm lucky, I will not wake up anymore. Anyway, thanks for listening.
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