We hear the deep pain, anger, and exhaustion in your words, and we grieve with you over the suffering you’ve endured—betrayal, isolation, broken trust, and the crushing weight of feeling abandoned by those who should have loved and protected you. Your heart has been wounded by the sins of others, and the enemy has used these wounds to twist your perspective, filling you with bitterness, fear, and a desire to flee. But we must speak truth in love: while your pain is real and valid, the path you’re describing—one of unchecked anger, isolation, and rejection of the very calling God has placed on your life—is not the answer. It is a snare of the enemy, who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). You are at a crossroads, and we implore you to turn to Jesus, the only One who can heal these wounds and restore what has been broken.
First, we must address the absence of Jesus’ name in your cry for help. There is no other name under heaven by which we are saved, no other name through which we can approach the Father (Acts 4:12, John 14:6). If you are not explicitly calling on Jesus, you are leaving the door open for the enemy to twist your prayers into curses rather than petitions for godly justice and restoration. You cannot fight spiritual battles in your own strength or with your own words—only through Christ can we stand firm. "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). You need the armor of God, not the armor of your own anger or isolation.
Your pain over your marriage prayers feeling "stolen" or "vomited up" by others is heartbreaking. Marriage is a sacred covenant ordained by God, and it is right to desire a godly spouse who will cherish and honor you as Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25). But we must ask: have you surrendered this desire fully to the Lord, or have you allowed bitterness to take root because it hasn’t come to pass in your timing? "Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). If you have been praying for marriage, continue to do so—but guard your heart against resentment. God’s timing is perfect, and His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). If you have been hurt by men who failed to love you as they should, we rebuke the spirit of rejection and abandonment in Jesus’ name. You are *not* defined by their failures. You are a daughter of the King, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
We are deeply concerned by your statements about no longer wanting to minister, teach Sunday School, or walk in your calling as a prophetess. These are not just roles—they are gifts from the Holy Spirit, given to you for the building up of the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:7). To walk away from them because of the sins of others is to let the enemy win. Jesus Himself was betrayed, rejected, and abandoned—yet He never stopped fulfilling His Father’s will. "Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we don’t give up" (Galatians 6:9). You are being attacked because you are called. The enemy fears what God has placed in you, so he has sent "tormeners" to wear you down. But greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). Do not surrender your anointing out of pain. Instead, let God refine you through this fire so you can emerge stronger, wiser, and more dependent on Him.
Your anger toward the USA, toward men, and even toward the Body of Christ is understandable, but it is also dangerous. Unchecked anger gives the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:26-27). You speak of judgment, and yes, God *will* judge the wicked—but vengeance belongs to Him, not to us (Romans 12:19). Your job is to forgive, release, and trust God to fight your battles. "Don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21). If you hold onto bitterness, it will poison *you*, not those who hurt you. Forgiveness does not mean what they did was okay—it means you refuse to let their sins control your heart any longer. Jesus forgave those who crucified Him (Luke 23:34). Can we do any less?
We also must address your mention of COVID-19 and the implication that it was used to keep you from physical intimacy. If you are referring to sexual relationships outside of marriage, we must lovingly but firmly rebuke this. Sex is a sacred gift from God *only* within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman (Hebrews 13:4). Any sexual activity outside of marriage—whether fornication, adultery, or lust—is sin and opens the door to spiritual attack. If you have been involved in such relationships, we urge you to repent and turn to Jesus for cleansing. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). God’s grace is greater than your past. He can redeem even this.
Your desire to flee the country with your two cats reveals a heart that is longing for peace and safety—something every child of God deserves. But running geographically will not solve the spiritual battle you’re in. Wherever you go, you will take your pain, your bitterness, and your unhealed wounds with you unless you surrender them to Jesus. "The Lord is my shepherd: I shall lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He renews my soul" (Psalm 23:1-3). He is your true refuge, not a new location. If God *does* call you to move, He will make it clear—but first, you must deal with the roots of pain in your heart.
Lastly, your isolation is not from God. He created us for community (Genesis 2:18). The enemy wants you alone because you are easier to attack when separated from the Body. We urge you to reconnect with a Bible-believing church, even if it’s hard. Find a small group, a prayer partner, or a counselor who can walk with you through this. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his companion; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up Your daughter to You, knowing that You see every tear she has cried, every wound she has suffered, and every betrayal that has left her heartbroken. Lord, she is exhausted, angry, and ready to give up—but we declare that You are not done with her. You have plans to prosper her, not to harm her, plans to give her a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). We bind every spirit of bitterness, rejection, abandonment, and fear in Jesus’ name. We break the power of every word spoken against her, every curse, every scheme of the enemy to isolate her and steal her destiny.
Lord, heal her heart. Restore her trust in You, even when people have failed her. Remind her that You are her Husband, her Provider, her Protector (Isaiah 54:5). If she has been hurt by relationships outside of Your will, convict her and cleanse her. If she has been slandered or used, vindicate her in Your timing. Give her the strength to forgive, not for the sake of those who hurt her, but for her own freedom.
Father, we ask for godly community to surround her—people who will love her as You do, who will speak life into her and remind her of her calling. If she is meant to move, make it clear and provide supernaturally. But first, heal her where she is. Restore her joy in ministering to others. Renew her passion for Your Word and Your people.
We pray for her two cats, that they would be protected and provided for, and that they would be a comfort to her in this season. But more than anything, we pray that she would find her comfort in You.
Lastly, Lord, if there is a godly husband prepared for her, bring him into her life in Your perfect timing. But until then, satisfy her with Your love. Let her find her identity in You alone.
We rebuke the spirit of suicide, depression, and hopelessness that may be lurking in the shadows of her pain. You are the God of hope, and we declare that she will hope in You again (Romans 15:13).
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Sister, we love you, and we are standing with you in this battle. Do not give up. Do not let the enemy win. Turn to Jesus—He is waiting with open arms. "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). Your story isn’t over. Let God write the next chapter.