We understand the deep pain and frustration you are experiencing, and we want to lift you up in prayer while also speaking truth into this situation. The struggle to forgive, especially when boundaries are repeatedly disrespected, is a heavy burden, but we serve a God who is faithful to heal and restore even the deepest wounds. Your desire to forgive and release bitterness is commendable, as it reflects the heart of Christ, who forgave even those who crucified Him. Yet, forgiveness does not mean allowing others to continually violate the boundaries God has given you the wisdom to set. The Bible calls us to forgive, but it also calls us to wisdom, discernment, and even separation when necessary for our spiritual and emotional well-being.
The apostle Paul teaches us in **Ephesians 4:26-27**, *"Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil."* Your anger is valid, but we must not let it become a foothold for the enemy. Instead, we are to bring it to God, who is just and righteous. **Psalm 37:8-9** reminds us, *"Cease from anger, and forsake wrath. Don’t fret, it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for Yahweh shall inherit the land."* Your mother’s actions—and the actions of her family—are not your responsibility to fix. You are responsible for your own heart before God, and He sees your efforts to honor Him even in this difficult situation.
Your mother’s behavior, as you described, aligns with the works of the flesh rather than the fruit of the Spirit. **Galatians 5:19-21** lists *"hostility, strife, jealousies, outbursts of anger, rivalries, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these,"* warning that *"those who practice such things will not inherit God’s Kingdom."* While we cannot diagnose her, it is clear that her actions are not reflecting the love, patience, or self-control that come from the Holy Spirit. If she is indeed a believer, we must pray for her repentance and deliverance, for *"if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us"* (**1 John 1:8**). True faith produces fruit (**James 2:17**), and if her life is marked by instability, narcissism, and abuse, these are areas where the enemy may have a stronghold. We must pray for her salvation if it is not genuine, or her sanctification if it is, that God would break these chains in her life.
As for your boundaries, they are not only wise but biblical. **Proverbs 22:3** says, *"A prudent man sees danger and hides himself; but the simple pass on, and suffer for it."* You have every right—and responsibility—to protect yourself from harm, especially when those harming you show no repentance. Jesus Himself set boundaries, even with His own family when they sought to interfere with His ministry (**Mark 3:31-35**). Your request for respect is not unreasonable; it is godly. The fact that your mother and others accuse you of trying to control them is a manipulation tactic, not a reflection of truth. You have made it clear that you are not trying to dictate their relationships, only asking that they not force those relationships upon you. This is fair, and their refusal to respect it reveals their own selfishness.
We also want to address the spiritual aspect of this battle. You mentioned believing that demons have used your mother’s family to keep you bound in unforgiveness. This is a real and serious possibility. **Ephesians 6:12** reminds us that *"we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places."* If your mother is demonized or under spiritual oppression, her actions are not entirely her own, but that does not excuse the sin. We must pray for her deliverance while also standing firm in our own spiritual authority as believers. **James 4:7** commands us, *"Be subject therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you."* You have the power, in Christ, to resist these spiritual attacks and to walk in freedom from bitterness.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister, who is weary from the battles she has faced within her own family. Lord, You see the pain, the betrayal, and the repeated disrespect she has endured. You know the depth of her wounds, and You alone can heal them. We ask that You would pour out Your comfort upon her, wrapping her in Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Remind her that she is not defined by the actions of others, but by Your love for her—a love so great that You sent Your Son to die for her sins.
Lord, we pray for her mother. If she is truly Your child, convict her of her sin and bring her to repentance. Break the chains of narcissism, instability, and abuse in her life. If she is not truly saved, we pray that You would open her eyes to her need for Jesus, that she might turn from her sin and surrender to You. Bind any demonic influence in her life and in the lives of the family members who have harmed our sister. Let no weapon formed against her prosper, and let every tongue that rises against her in judgment be condemned (**Isaiah 54:17**).
Father, we ask for supernatural strength for our sister to forgive, not in her own power, but through Your Spirit working in her. Help her to release this anger and bitterness at Your feet, trusting You to be her vindicator. Give her wisdom in setting and maintaining boundaries, and surround her with godly support—people who will uphold her in prayer and encourage her in truth.
We rebuke the spirit of manipulation, control, and division that has operated in this family. We declare that our sister is free from the enemy’s attempts to keep her bound in unforgiveness or fear. Let her heart be guarded by Your peace, and let her mind be renewed by Your Word. Help her to focus on her schoolwork and the purposes You have for her, undistracted by the chaos around her.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would make a way for reconciliation—*if* it is Your will and *if* it can be done in a way that honors You and protects our sister’s heart. But if not, give her the grace to walk away in peace, knowing that You are her Father and her Protector.
We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who has overcome the world. Amen.
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We want to encourage you to keep pressing into God’s Word and His presence. **Psalm 147:3** says, *"He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds."* This is not a quick process, but He is faithful. If you haven’t already, consider finding a biblical counselor or a mature believer who can walk with you through this. You are not alone in this fight. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who is the author and finisher of your faith (**Hebrews 12:2**). He will see you through. Stand firm, sister. The Lord is with you.