M
monkey mom
Guest
I watch you every week and read your daily scripture. I feel so fullfilled, yet I still make such stupid errors in judgement. I am a good person and would do anything for anybody! I recently lost my job because of an error in judgement.I did not think through with my actions. I thought it was not a problem. I gave my all to this place and now I find myself lost and upon hardship. I pray everyday to give me the strength to be more positive and to help lead me in the right direction. I am up and then I am down. Your messages give me inspiration, but I can not seem to get past the strength to remain positive and to follow the direction you lead me. It is like a tug -a-war. I keep doing little stupid things that make no sense. What is worse is they are little stupid things like calling and hanging up with my past employer. WHY???Telling little lies so that people will not think bad of me because I lost my job due to ignorance. I was trying to help an employee who left her computer vulnerable at the Bank by shutting it down. She had over 30 applications up and I had to save each one. While I was doing this there was a couple of cool form letters on company letterhead and a really nice amortization schedule. I emailed it to myself. Did not try to hide it, I even told a couple of people of what I had done. This resulted in HR finding out and although they admitted it was not hidden and not of malicious intent, I was releived of my duties. That I had breached security. How I ask. It was on company letterhead and it was sent from colleague to colleague, I don't understand. I was crying something aweful!! Now my career and life is ruined!! There was no policy regarding this and they state termination is across the board for something like this. God please help me to have the strength to get past this. I have had a couple of good interviews but I have lied and stated that I am still working there. I do not want anyone to think I am a bad person by what I did, I am trying to salvage my career background, yet I feel that the lies will catch up with me and I am full of guilt. How do I handle this??? Why am I such a mess after tons of years of having a spotless background. Am I being punished for something. God please help me!!