Mean and Violent ###

[Jrlaelion]

Why is ### get so mean, violent, towards me? Nothing but yelling and names, etc. Not judging her, she is a Christian and so am I. Everyday almost. I know I'm not perfect, I can mess up or forget to do sometimes. She tells me she wants me gone, she's had enough, pack ### bags, all because I didn't do the dishes or my cat had diarrhea. It's the little things. Even when I want to correct myself and do it, she gets violent and tries to push me down, or grab me, try to hit me with something and screams at me and says I'll do it, get away!!!!! Too late for you!!!!!

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and confusion in your words, and our hearts ache with you as you describe this cycle of anger and violence in your home. The Bible is clear that a husband and wife are to love and respect one another as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25, 33). The behavior you are describing—yelling, name-calling, physical aggression, and threats of abandonment over small matters—is not only unbiblical but deeply harmful to both of you. Scripture tells us, *"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"* (Proverbs 15:1). The way she is responding to you is not reflective of the fruit of the Spirit, which includes gentleness, patience, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

First, we must address the physical violence. The Bible does not condone any form of abuse, whether emotional or physical. You are made in the image of God ( Genesis 1:27), and your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). No one has the right to harm you, and you have a responsibility to protect yourself. If she is pushing, grabbing, or attempting to hit you, this is not only sinful but dangerous. We urge you to seek safety and counsel immediately. Proverbs 22:3 says, *"A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it."* You may need to remove yourself from the situation temporarily to ensure your safety and to give both of you space to seek godly help.

We also want to gently address your role in this dynamic. While her reactions are extreme and unacceptable, it sounds like there may be areas where you can grow in responsibility and attentiveness to your shared home. The Bible calls us to love one another practically, and that includes serving one another in humility (Galatians 5:13). If you are consistently forgetting tasks or neglecting responsibilities, it may be contributing to her frustration, even if her response is sinful. Have you sought to understand her perspective and the deeper reasons behind her anger? Sometimes, unchecked bitterness or past wounds can manifest in explosive ways. Ecclesiastes 7:9 warns, *"Do not be hasty in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools."* Her anger is not your fault, but it may be revealing deeper issues that need to be addressed in prayer and with wise counsel.

We must also ask: Have you both sought help from your church or a biblical counselor? Marriage is a covenant before God, and when it is struggling, it requires the support of the body of Christ. Proverbs 11:14 says, *"Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety."* You cannot navigate this alone, and neither can she. A godly pastor or counselor can help you both identify the root causes of this conflict and guide you toward repentance, healing, and restoration.

Let us pray for you now:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this brother and his marriage to You. Lord, You see the pain, the confusion, and the fear that he is experiencing. We ask that You would be his refuge and strength, a very present help in this time of trouble (Psalm 46:1). Father, we pray for his safety and protection. If there is any danger, we ask that You would intervene and provide a way of escape for him (1 Corinthians 10:13). Give him wisdom to know how to respond and the courage to seek help.

Lord, we also pray for his wife. We ask that You would soften her heart and convict her of the sin in her words and actions. Show her the destructive path she is on and lead her to repentance. Remind her of the love and gentleness that You call her to as a follower of Christ. Help her to see the ways in which her anger is harming her marriage and her own soul.

Father, we pray for their marriage. Where there is brokenness, bring healing. Where there is bitterness, bring forgiveness. Where there is division, bring unity. Teach them both to love one another as You have loved them (John 13:34). Raise up godly counselors and mentors who can walk alongside them and guide them back to Your design for marriage.

Lord, we ask that You would help this brother to grow in responsibility and attentiveness to his wife. Show him how to serve her in love and humility. Help him to communicate with kindness and patience, even in difficult moments. And Father, we pray that You would help him to forgive her, even as You have forgiven him (Colossians 3:13).

We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. May Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Amen.

Brother, we want to encourage you with the truth that God sees you and loves you. You are not alone in this struggle. Psalm 34:18-19 says, *"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all."* God is able to restore what is broken and bring beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3). But restoration requires humility, repentance, and a willingness to seek help.

We urge you to reach out to your pastor or a trusted Christian counselor this week. Share what you are going through and ask for their guidance. If you feel unsafe at any point, do not hesitate to remove yourself from the situation and seek a safe place. Your life and well-being matter to God, and He does not want you to endure abuse.

Finally, we want to remind you that true change can only come through the power of the Holy Spirit. Pray for your wife daily, asking God to work in her heart. Pray for yourself, asking God to help you respond in a way that honors Him. And pray for your marriage, asking God to restore what has been broken. With God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26). Keep your eyes fixed on Him, and trust that He is working even in the midst of this pain.

 

[hostadmin]

We're so sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing. It's never easy when someone we care about treats us unkindly, especially when it's someone we live with. We want you to know that we're here for you, praying for you and your situation.

First, we want to encourage you to prioritize your safety. It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. If at any point you feel unsafe, please don't hesitate to remove yourself from the situation and seek a safe place. Your well-being is crucial, and God wants you to be safe.

Next, we want to remind you that God sees you and loves you. He's right there with you in the midst of this pain. He cares about every detail of your life, and He wants the best for you. Remember, even in the toughest times, you're never alone. He's always by your side.

We also want to encourage open and honest communication. It might be helpful to have a calm, respectful conversation with your partner about how you're feeling. Sometimes, simply expressing our feelings can help others understand our perspective better. But remember, this should be done in a safe environment and when you're both calm.

Lastly, we want to remind you that change is possible with God. He's in the business of transforming lives and relationships. Keep praying for your partner, for yourself, and for your relationship. Trust that God is at work, even when you can't see it.

We're here for you, praying for you and your situation. Please keep us updated on how things are going, and don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything. You're not alone in this. God is with you, and so are we.

 

[EnricoLange]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.