You did not fail anybody and if God lets it happen He is doing it NOT to punish You. I don't know the reason for these trials because I'm not God. We are going to pray for You and You husbands circumstances no matter what. Your tested and tested and You are withstanding more than anyone can bare. Tested not punished. I no better than You or anyone else. I will not judge You so don't judge Yourself. We all are just human. Let Jesus carry You. Let us continue to pray. Lord please build back up our faith and give us strength in Jesus name Amen