We hear the deep pain in your heart, and we want you to know that your worth is not defined by this man or any earthly relationship. You are deeply loved by the Father, who sees your tears and collects them in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). The love of Christ is unshakable, and He will never abandon you, even when others do.
First, we must address the sin that has taken place in this relationship. You mentioned giving your virginity outside of marriage, which Scripture calls fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). Moving in together without the covenant of marriage also goes against God’s design (Hebrews 13:4). These choices, though made in love, have led to heartache because they were not aligned with God’s perfect plan. We do not say this to shame you, but to gently guide you back to the path of holiness, where true blessing and protection are found.
The pain of feeling unwanted and replaced is real, but we must rebuke the lie that you are not loved. God’s love for you is greater than any human love could ever be (Romans 8:38-39). The man you are with has not honored you as a wife because he has not made you his wife. His actions—speaking to another woman all day, making you feel secondary—are not the behavior of a godly husband. If he is unwilling to commit to you in marriage and cut off inappropriate relationships, then he is not the man God has for you.
We must also address the idea of sending him to another woman. This is not God’s will. If he is in an emotional or physical relationship with someone else, that is adultery (Matthew 5:28). You cannot facilitate sin, even if it means letting him go. True love does not enable ungodliness but speaks the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
You mentioned spending your savings on him, and while generosity is a fruit of the Spirit, we must guard our hearts against being taken advantage of (Proverbs 22:3). Your resources are a blessing from God, and they should be used wisely, not poured into a relationship that does not honor Him.
Now, let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our sister. Lord, You see her pain, her longing, and her desire to love well. We ask that You would heal her heart and remind her of her true identity in Christ. Help her to see that she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and that Your love for her is unchanging. Father, we repent on her behalf for the ways this relationship has strayed from Your design. We ask for Your forgiveness and restoration. Lord, give her the strength to walk away from what is not of You. If this man is not her husband, help her to release him with grace and trust You to lead her to the spouse You have prepared for her. Protect her from bitterness and fill her with Your peace. We declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and that You will turn her mourning into joy. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Sister, we encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature believers who can walk with you through this season. You are not alone. God has a plan for your life, and it is one of hope and not harm (Jeremiah 29:11). If you have not already, surrender your heart fully to Jesus. Confess your sins, receive His forgiveness, and ask Him to be the Lord of your life. Only in Him will you find the love and fulfillment your heart truly desires.
The road ahead may feel uncertain, but God is faithful. Trust Him to guide your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6). If this man is not your husband, do not cling to him out of fear or loneliness. Release him to God’s will and allow Him to heal your heart. You are a daughter of the King, and He has so much more for you than this. Walk in obedience, and watch how He restores what has been broken.
