We come before the Lord with you in this time of heartache and longing, lifting up your plea for healing and wisdom in this relationship. It is clear you are hurting, and we want to first acknowledge the courage it takes to seek God’s help in this struggle. You’ve asked for Jesus Christ’s intervention, and we rejoice that you are turning to Him, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved, and no other way to the Father but through Him (Acts 4:12, John 14:6). It is only by His grace and through faith in His finished work on the cross that we can approach the throne of God with confidence (Ephesians 2:8-9, Hebrews 4:16). We pray that if you have not already, you will fully surrender your life to Christ as your Lord and Savior, trusting in Him alone for salvation and guidance in every area of your life.
Your request reveals a deep desire for love and reconciliation, but we must also address what is left unsaid with biblical truth and clarity. You’ve referred to this person as “my ###,” but we want to gently and lovingly ask: what is the nature of this relationship in God’s eyes? Are you married to this woman, or is this a relationship outside of the covenant of marriage? Scripture is clear that intimacy—emotional, physical, or otherwise—is reserved for the sacred bond of marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6, Hebrews 13:4). If this relationship is not a marriage, then what you are experiencing is not the love God designed, but a counterfeit that will ultimately lead to brokenness. Fornication (sex outside of marriage) and emotional entanglements that mimic marriage are sinful in God’s sight and will only bring pain and separation from His best for you (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, Galatians 5:19-21). If this is the case, we urge you to repent and turn away from this relationship, seeking God’s forgiveness and His path for your life. His ways are higher, and His plans for you are good, even when they require surrender and obedience that feels difficult (Isaiah 55:8-9, Jeremiah 29:11).
If you *are* married to this woman, then we stand with you in praying for restoration. Marriage is a covenant before God, and He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). However, even in marriage, love cannot be forced. You’ve expressed a willingness to release her if she does not love you, and that is a mature and Christ-like posture. Love is a choice, not just a feeling, and it must be rooted in Christ. Scripture commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, selflessly, and with a love that seeks her holiness and good above all else (Ephesians 5:25-33). If you have fallen short in this, as we all do, there is grace in repentance. Ask God to show you how to love her in a way that honors Him, whether that means fighting for your marriage or releasing her with dignity and trust in His sovereignty.
We also notice your confession of selfishness and weakness. This is a good and necessary step! God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). True love—*agape* love—is not self-seeking but seeks the well-being of the other (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). Ask the Holy Spirit to fill you with this kind of love, whether in this relationship or in future ones. Your weakness is an opportunity for Christ’s strength to be made perfect in you (2 Corinthians 12:9). Lean on Him, not on your own understanding or emotions.
As for the softening of her heart, we pray earnestly for this, but we must remember that God does not force anyone’s will. He may soften her heart, or He may use this season to redirect your paths entirely. Trust that His will is perfect, even when it’s painful. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* This is your anchor right now.
Let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You see his heart and his pain. Lord Jesus, You are the healer of broken hearts and the restorer of all things. We ask that You would minister to him in this moment, wrapping him in Your peace that surpasses all understanding. If this relationship is outside of Your design for marriage, we pray for conviction and repentance. Show him the way out, Lord, and give him the strength to walk in obedience, even if it means letting go. If this is a marriage covenant, we pray for reconciliation and renewal. Soften both of their hearts, Lord, and help them to love one another as You have loved us—selflessly, sacrificially, and with grace.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of selfishness and weakness in our brother’s life. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit, that he may walk in humility, strength, and love. If this relationship is not from You, close the door firmly and redirect his steps toward Your perfect will. If it is Your will for them to be together, restore what has been broken and teach them both how to love as You do.
We also pray for our brother’s heart to be guarded and healed. May he find his identity and worth in You alone, not in the affection of another. Remind him that Your love is steadfast, unchanging, and everlasting (Psalm 136:1). Give him the grace to surrender this relationship—whether in restoration or release—into Your hands.
Finally, Lord, we pray that You would reveal Yourself to him in a fresh and powerful way. Draw him closer to You through this trial. Let him know that You are enough, and that Your plans for him are good. Give him wisdom to seek godly counsel, whether from pastors, mentors, or brothers in Christ who can walk with him through this.
We ask all of this in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone is worthy of all praise and glory. Amen.
Brother, we encourage you to spend time in God’s Word daily, especially in the Psalms and the Gospels, where you will find comfort and truth. Surround yourself with a community of believers who can pray for you and hold you accountable. If you are struggling with sin in this relationship, confess it to God and to a trusted brother in Christ (James 5:16). There is no shame in repentance—only freedom.
If you are not married, we urge you to step back from this relationship and seek God’s face about what He wants for your future. Pursue a spouse only within the boundaries of biblical courtship, with the goal of a Christ-centered marriage. If you are married, fight for your marriage with prayer, humility, and godly counsel. In either case, trust that God’s way is best, even when it’s hard.
You are loved by the King of kings, and He has not forgotten you. Keep seeking Him.
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