Pheamen

Disciple of Prayer
Please soften the hearts of my wife and my bosses and my customers and my coworkers. I have been off work for ### weeks because of my back needing surgery to remove the Cyst in my spine and my L4 and L5 vertibrea discs are worn out and obliterated and will need to be fused together. I'm scared about having the surgery done which is set up ### days. I hope to be able to get my SDI EDD process completed properly to receive the money I have paid for SDI to help us pay our bills. I ask God to help me and my wife change the way we treat each other. I ask God to help me not die during the surgery because of the alcohol that is inside my body. Please take care of my wife and my son and my daughter with their needs. Please help me get my work done correctly and on time for my employer even though I am not getting paid while I am on a LOA. I feel like I am going to lose my mind and my job and my wife. I should start thinking about how we are going to be separated from each other. Sell our home I may just go live with my brother in ###, ### if I am still alive after having major back surgery. I'm sorry God for my failures with my wife and my job. I was always a hard worker and a good dad and a few years ago I was a good husband. We drink too much alcohol and when we do my wife is so mean to me. I need to let go and just give everything to God so he can fix it and then give it back to me. I don't know what else to do. Please help us Amen.
 
We come before the throne of grace with you, lifting up your heartfelt cries to our Heavenly Father, who knows your every struggle and cares deeply for you. You have poured out your fears, your pain, and your regrets, and we want you to know that God hears you. He is not distant in your suffering—He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). You have called upon the name of Jesus Christ in your plea, and that is where your hope lies, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). It is only through faith in Jesus that we have access to the Father, and it is in His name that we boldly approach the throne to find mercy and grace to help in our time of need (Hebrews 4:16).

First, we want to address the fear and despair that seem to be overwhelming you. The enemy would love for you to believe that your situation is hopeless, that your marriage is beyond repair, that your job is lost, and that this surgery will be your end. But we rebuke that spirit of fear in the name of Jesus, for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7). You are not abandoned—God is with you, and He is your strength. The psalmist declares, *"The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid?"* (Psalm 27:1). Even in the valley of the shadow of death, you do not need to fear evil, for He is with you (Psalm 23:4). We pray that God would fill you with His peace, which surpasses all understanding, guarding your heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Let go of the "what-ifs" and the despair, and cling to the promises of God, who holds your life in His hands.

We also want to speak life into your marriage. You mentioned that alcohol has played a destructive role in your relationship with your wife, and that when you both drink, she becomes mean to you. Brother, we must address this with love but also with urgency: alcohol is a destroyer of homes, health, and hope. The Bible warns us, *"Wine is a mocker, and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise"* (Proverbs 20:1). It clouds judgment, fuels anger, and opens the door to the enemy’s attacks. We strongly urge you to turn away from alcohol entirely and seek God’s help to break this stronghold. *"Don’t you know that you are God’s temple, and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is holy, which you are"* (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). Your body is not your own—it belongs to God, and you are called to honor Him with it (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). The same applies to your wife. We pray that God would give you both the strength to turn away from this sin and that He would heal the wounds it has caused in your marriage.

You also mentioned feeling like you need to start thinking about separation from your wife. We want to gently but firmly rebuke that thought in the name of Jesus. Marriage is a covenant before God, and He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). The enemy would love to destroy what God has joined together, but we declare that your marriage is worth fighting for. God is able to restore what seems broken beyond repair. Remember, *"What therefore God has joined together, don’t let man tear apart"* (Mark 10:9). Instead of entertaining thoughts of separation, we encourage you to seek God’s face together with your wife. Pray together, repent together, and ask God to renew your love and commitment to one another. *"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you"* (Ephesians 4:32). If pride, bitterness, or unresolved conflicts have taken root, ask God to uproot them and replace them with humility, patience, and love. *"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails"* (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). This is the love God calls you to walk in with your wife. It is not easy, but with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).

As for your surgery, we pray for God’s healing hand to be upon you. *"Lord, you have searched me, and you know me. You know my sitting down and my rising up. You perceive my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but, behold, Lord, you know it altogether. You surround me behind and before. You laid your hand on me"* (Psalm 139:1-5). God knows every detail of your body, and He is the Great Physician. We pray that He would guide the hands of your surgeons, that He would give them wisdom and skill, and that He would protect you from every complication. We also pray that God would cleanse your body from the effects of alcohol and restore you to full health. *"Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be healthy, even as your soul prospers"* (3 John 1:2). Trust in Him, for He is your healer (Exodus 15:26).

Regarding your financial struggles and the stress of your job, we remind you that God is your provider. *"Therefore I tell you, don’t be anxious for your life: what you will eat, or what you will drink; nor yet for your body, what you will wear. Isn’t life more than food, and the body more than clothing? See the birds of the sky, that they don’t sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns. Your heavenly Father feeds them. Aren’t you of much more value than they?"* (Matthew 6:25-26). We pray that God would provide for your every need according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19). We also pray that He would give you favor with your employers and that your disability claim would be processed smoothly and quickly. *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in him, and he will do this"* (Psalm 37:4-5). Even in this season of uncertainty, God is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28).

Finally, we want to encourage you to surrender everything to God—not just in words, but in action. You said, *"I need to let go and just give everything to God so He can fix it and then give it back to me."* That is the heart of true faith. *"Casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7). But surrender also means turning away from sin, seeking His will above your own, and trusting Him even when you cannot see the way forward. It means choosing obedience over fear, faith over despair, and love over bitterness. *"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Now, let us pray together for you:

Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You are his refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Lord, we ask that You would surround him with Your peace and fill him with Your courage as he faces this surgery. Be his healer, his protector, and his comforter. We pray that You would guide the hands of the medical team and that every aspect of this procedure would go smoothly, with no complications. Cleanse his body from the effects of alcohol and restore him to full health, for Your glory.

Lord, we also lift up his marriage. You hate divorce, and You are a God of restoration. We ask that You would soften both his heart and the heart of his wife. Break the stronghold of alcohol in their lives and fill them with Your Holy Spirit. Help them to turn to You in repentance and to walk in love, patience, and kindness toward one another. Renew their commitment to their covenant and help them to build a marriage that honors You.

Father, we pray for provision—financially, emotionally, and spiritually. You know their every need, and we ask that You would supply it abundantly. Give our brother favor with his employers and with those processing his disability claim. Help him to trust You with his work, knowing that You are his ultimate provider.

Lord, we rebuke every spirit of fear, despair, and defeat that has tried to take root in his mind. Fill him instead with Your hope, Your joy, and Your peace. Remind him that You are working all things together for his good and that You have a plan and a purpose for his life.

Finally, Father, we ask that You would draw him closer to You through this trial. Help him to seek Your face daily, to surrender his worries to You, and to walk in obedience to Your Word. May this season be a testimony of Your faithfulness and power in his life.

We pray all these things in the mighty and precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
 
We're here for you, dear friend. We've been praying for you and your family, and we want you to know that God is with you in this difficult time. We're sorry to hear about your back surgery and the challenges you're facing with your wife and job. We believe that God is a God of miracles and healing, and we trust that He will see you through this trial.

We want to encourage you to keep trusting in God, even when things seem uncertain or overwhelming. He is faithful and will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). Remember that He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28), and that even in the midst of trials, His love for you never fails (Psalm 36:7).

We're praying for your surgery to go smoothly, for God's healing power to be present, and for His peace to comfort you and your family. We're also praying for your marriage, that God would soften both of your hearts and bring you closer together. We believe that God can restore and heal your marriage, and we're asking Him to do just that.

Please keep us updated on how you're doing, and know that we're here for you, praying for you every step of the way. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). He will make your paths straight.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
 
My wife is starting to open up and she is telling me how she feels and what she needs and how I have been an alcoholic and selfish and I am using my back problems as an excuse to just lay in my bed and drink beer and smoke pot and pretend that everything is going to be ok.
 

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