We hear the deep cry of your heart, and we are grieved by the bondage you are describing—yet we rejoice that you have turned to the Lord in this moment of honesty. You have taken the first step by acknowledging your struggle, and that is where God’s power begins to work. The fact that you are reaching out shows that the Holy Spirit is convicting you, and that is a sign of His love for you. Do not ignore this conviction, for it is the Lord calling you to repentance and restoration.
You have said, *"I ask God for help but I am not doing what I should be doing."* This is the very struggle the apostle Paul describes in Romans 7:15-19: *"For I don’t understand what I am doing. For I don’t practice what I desire to do; but what I hate, that I do. But if what I don’t desire, that I do, I consent to the law that it is good. So now it is no more I that do it, but sin which dwells in me. For I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, dwells no good thing. For desire is present with me, but I don’t find it doing what is good. For the good which I desire, I don’t do; but the evil which I don’t desire, that I practice."* You are not alone in this battle, but the difference between remaining in bondage and walking in freedom is what you choose to do *next*.
The alcohol and marijuana you are using are not solutions—they are chains. They numb the pain for a moment but steal your strength, your clarity, and your ability to fulfill your responsibilities. Proverbs 20:1 warns, *"Wine is a mocker, and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise."* And 1 Peter 5:8 commands us to *"be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."* You are in a spiritual battle, and these substances are weapons the enemy is using to keep you from rising up as the man God has called you to be.
You mentioned your wife and children, and we must speak plainly: your family is suffering because of your choices. Ephesians 5:25-29 says, *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it... Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly."* Right now, you are not nourishing or cherishing your wife or your children. Instead, you are leaving them to bear the weight of your neglect. This is not love—it is selfishness, and it is sin. But there is hope! If you repent and turn to the Lord, He will restore what has been broken. Joel 2:25 promises, *"I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten..."*
You also spoke of wanting to give up because life feels like too much work. We understand the depth of your pain, both physically and emotionally, but we must remind you that suicide is never the answer. It is a permanent solution to a temporary struggle, and it is a direct rejection of God’s sovereignty over your life. Job, in his suffering, cried out in despair, yet he never cursed God. Instead, he said, *"Though he slay me, yet I will trust in him"* (Job 13:15). Your pain is real, but God is greater. He has not abandoned you, even if you feel abandoned. Psalm 34:18 says, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."*
As for your back surgery and the stress it brings, we urge you to cast this anxiety upon the Lord. Philippians 4:6-7 says, *"In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."* You are not meant to carry this burden alone. The Lord is your strength, and He will uphold you. Psalm 28:7 declares, *"Yahweh is my strength and my shield. My heart has trusted in him, and I am helped. Therefore my heart greatly rejoices. With my song I will thank him."*
Now, let us address your practical steps:
1. **Repent and turn from your sin.** This means putting down the alcohol and marijuana *today*. Do not wait. 1 John 1:9 says, *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."* You cannot serve God and these addictions. Choose this day whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15).
2. **Go back to work tomorrow—no excuses.** Proverbs 6:6-11 says, *"Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways, and be wise; which having no chief, overseer, or ruler, provides her bread in the summer, and gathers her food in the harvest. How long will you sleep, sluggard? When will you arise out of your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep— so your poverty will come as a robber, and your scarcity as an armed man."* You are on the verge of losing everything, but it is not too late to act.
3. **Complete your SDI paperwork *today*.** Do not procrastinate. Proverbs 13:4 says, *"The soul of the sluggard desires, and has nothing, but the desire of the diligent shall be fully satisfied."*
4. **Seek medical and spiritual support.** If you are struggling with addiction, find a Christian recovery group or a godly counselor who can walk with you. James 5:16 says, *"Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective."*
5. **Lean on your wife.** She is your helper (Genesis 2:18), not your enemy. Humble yourself, ask for her forgiveness, and allow her to stand with you in this fight. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, *"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up."*
6. **Trust God with your surgery.** He is the Great Physician, and He knows the number of your days (Psalm 139:16). Whether He heals you miraculously or through the hands of doctors, His will is perfect.
You asked if it will be okay. The truth is, *it will be okay if you surrender to God and obey Him.* If you continue in sin, the consequences will only deepen. But if you turn to Him with all your heart, He will redeem this season. Lamentations 3:22-23 says, *"It is because of Yahweh’s loving kindnesses that we are not consumed, because his compassion doesn’t fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness."*
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this brother who is trapped in the snare of sin and despair. Lord, he has confessed his struggles, and we ask that You break every chain of addiction, laziness, and fear that has held him captive. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit and give him the strength to rise up *today*—not tomorrow, but now—as a warrior for his family, his job, and his own soul.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of slumber and apathy that has kept him bound to his bed. We command every demonic stronghold of addiction, depression, and selfishness to be broken in Jesus’ name. Replace his weakness with Your power, his fear with Your peace, and his despair with Your hope. Remind him that You have not given him a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7).
Lord, we ask for Your divine intervention in his back surgery. Guide the hands of the doctors, provide for the financial needs, and grant him complete healing. Give him wisdom and diligence to complete his paperwork and return to work with integrity. Restore his mind, body, and spirit, and let him be a testimony of Your redeeming grace.
Father, we pray for his wife and children. Comfort them, strengthen them, and let them see a mighty transformation in him. Soften his heart toward them, and help him to lead his family in righteousness. Let his home be a place of peace, love, and faith once more.
Lord, we declare that this man is *more than a conqueror* through Christ who loves him (Romans 8:37). The enemy has sought to destroy him, but You, O God, are his deliverer. Raise him up as a mighty oak of righteousness, a display of Your splendor (Isaiah 61:3). Let this season of struggle become his greatest testimony.
We thank You, Father, that You are working all things together for his good (Romans 8:28). Give him the courage to take the first step *now*—not in his own strength, but in Yours. Let him feel Your presence so tangibly that he cannot help but obey.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Brother, the choice is yours. Will you remain in bondage, or will you rise up as a child of God? The Lord is extending His hand to you *right now.* Take it. Repent, obey, and walk in the freedom Christ died to give you. We are standing with you in prayer—now *you* must stand up in faith. God bless you.
