We come before you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this broken and hurting brother who is crying out for help. Our hearts ache for the pain, despair, and confusion that fill his words, but we know that God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). There is much to address here, and we will do so with truth, love, and the hope of the Gospel, for it is only in Christ that we find true healing, redemption, and purpose.
First, we must address the most urgent matter: this brother has not called upon the name of Jesus Christ in his plea. There is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12), and it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father (John 14:6). Without faith in Christ, there is no true hope, no forgiveness, and no eternal life. If you have not already, we urge you to repent of your sins and place your trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, and you will be saved (Romans 10:9). This is the first step toward true healing—not just for your back, but for your soul.
Now, let us speak to the struggles you’ve shared. The pain you are experiencing—physically, emotionally, and spiritually—is real, and God sees it. But the solutions you are considering—quitting your job, leaving your wife, and running away to live with your brother—are not aligned with God’s will. Instead, they are rooted in despair, escapism, and a desire to flee from responsibility. The Bible tells us that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and marriage is a covenant meant to reflect Christ’s love for His Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). Your marriage is in crisis, but the answer is not to abandon it. The answer is repentance, humility, and a willingness to seek God’s healing and restoration.
You mentioned that both you and your wife struggle with drinking too much alcohol. This is a serious sin that the Bible warns against. Ephesians 5:18 says, “Don’t be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit.” Alcoholism destroys lives, marriages, and families. It clouds judgment, fuels anger, and leads to further sin. We urge you both to repent of this and seek help—whether through a Christian recovery program, counseling, or accountability within the Church. You cannot fix this on your own, but with God, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).
You also spoke harshly about your wife, calling her “mean” and “stupid.” These words are not just unkind—they are sinful. Colossians 3:19 commands husbands, “Don’t be bitter against [your wives].” And Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Your wife is made in the image of God, and if you are a believer, she is your sister in Christ. Speak to her with love, even in your frustration. If she is truly difficult to live with, ask yourself: have you loved her as Christ loves the Church? Have you laid down your life for her, or have you contributed to the bitterness between you? Marriage requires sacrifice, patience, and forgiveness—qualities that can only be fully lived out when we are walking in the Spirit.
As for your back surgery, we understand your fear and reluctance. Surgery is a serious matter, and it’s natural to feel anxious. But we encourage you to seek God’s wisdom in this decision. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Have you prayed for God’s guidance? Have you sought counsel from wise, godly people? Have you considered how this surgery might be part of God’s plan to bring healing—not just to your body, but to your marriage and your walk with Him? Don’t let fear dictate your choices. Instead, surrender this to the Lord and trust that He will lead you.
You also mentioned wanting to quit your job. Work is a gift from God, and we are called to do all things as unto the Lord (Colossians 3:23). If your job is causing undue stress or is harmful to your well-being, it may be wise to seek a change—but not out of laziness or a desire to escape responsibility. Proverbs 10:4 says, “He becomes poor who works with a lazy hand, but the hand of the diligent brings wealth.” Seek God’s will in this area, and be willing to work hard for His glory, not just your own comfort.
Finally, you called yourself a “bad person.” The truth is, we are all sinners (Romans 3:23), and none of us are righteous on our own (Romans 3:10). But the Good News is that Jesus Christ came to save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). If you repent and turn to Him, He will forgive you, cleanse you, and give you a new heart (Ezekiel 36:26). You don’t have to live in shame or despair. In Christ, you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), and He can redeem even the most broken situations.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this brother to You in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, he is broken, hurting, and lost, but You are the God who sees and hears. We ask that You draw him to Yourself in a powerful way. If he has not yet surrendered his life to Jesus, convict his heart and lead him to repentance and faith. Let him know that there is no sin too great for Your grace, no brokenness too deep for Your healing.
Lord, we pray for his marriage. It is in crisis, but You are the God of restoration. Soften both his heart and his wife’s heart. Help them to repent of their sins—especially the sin of drunkenness—and to turn to You for strength. Give them the humility to seek help, whether through counseling, recovery programs, or godly mentors. Remind them of the covenant they made before You, and give them the courage to fight for their marriage rather than flee from it.
Father, we ask for Your wisdom regarding his back surgery. Guide the doctors, give him peace, and let this physical trial be an opportunity for spiritual growth. Help him to trust You rather than give in to fear.
Lord, we also pray for his attitude toward work. If he is struggling, give him endurance and a renewed sense of purpose. If a change is needed, open the right doors in Your timing.
Most of all, Father, we pray that he would experience Your love in a tangible way. Let him know that he is not defined by his failures, but by Your grace. Break the chains of shame, anger, and despair, and fill him with Your Holy Spirit. Give him the strength to walk in obedience, even when it’s hard.
We rebuke the spirit of despair, addiction, and division that has taken hold in his life and marriage. By the authority of Jesus Christ, we command these strongholds to be broken. Let Your light shine into every dark place, and let Your truth set him free.
In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.
Brother, we urge you to take these steps:
1. **Repent and turn to Jesus.** If you haven’t already, surrender your life to Christ. Confess your sins, ask for forgiveness, and invite Him to be your Lord.
2. **Seek help for alcoholism.** This is a sin that will destroy you and your marriage. Find a Christian recovery program or a trusted pastor to walk with you.
3. **Fight for your marriage.** Instead of planning to leave, commit to praying for your wife and seeking reconciliation. If she is unwilling, you can still honor God by loving her as Christ loves the Church.
4. **Surround yourself with godly community.** You cannot do this alone. Find a Bible-believing church where you can be discipled, encouraged, and held accountable.
5. **Trust God with your future.** Don’t make major decisions out of fear or despair. Seek His will in prayer, and wait for His leading.
You are not beyond hope. God is able to redeem this situation and use it for His glory. But it starts with you turning to Him in full surrender. We are praying for you, and we believe that God is at work in your life, even now.
. ### really don't want to be like this anymore and ### know that ### can do better than this. Thank you for your prayers 
