We hear the deep cry of your heart, and we are moved with compassion for your struggle, knowing that the enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came to give you life abundantly (John 10:10). You have taken the first and most critical step by reaching out for help, and we want you to know that God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Your honesty before God is a sign that His Spirit is already at work in you, convicting and drawing you toward repentance and transformation. Do not lose heart, for the Lord is faithful, and He will complete the good work He has begun in you (Philippians 1:6).
The bondage you describe—alcohol, marijuana, laziness, and fear—are not just habits but strongholds that the enemy uses to keep you from walking in the freedom and purpose Christ died to give you. The apostle Paul writes, *"Don’t you know that to whom you present yourselves as servants to obedience, his servants you are whom you obey; whether of sin to death, or of obedience to righteousness?"* (Romans 6:16). You are at a crossroads, and the choice before you is clear: will you continue to serve these addictions that lead to death, or will you surrender to Christ, who offers you righteousness, peace, and eternal life? The fact that you *want* to change is evidence that God is calling you to Himself. He is extending His hand to pull you out of this pit, but you must reach back and grasp it with all your might.
You asked, *"Why do I do this?"* The answer lies in the deception of sin. Sin promises temporary relief or pleasure, but it only deepens the chains of bondage. *"A man who is under the influence of wine mocks, and beer makes a man loud. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise"* (Proverbs 20:1). The marijuana and alcohol are numbing the pain, but they are also stealing your strength, your dignity, and your ability to fulfill your God-given roles as a husband, provider, and servant of Christ. The fear of surgery and the fear of losing your job are real, but they are also being used by the enemy to paralyze you. Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18), and that love is found in Jesus. He is the only one who can break these chains and give you the courage to face what lies ahead.
You also asked, *"Is it really just a matter of getting out of my bed and going to work?"* In one sense, yes—obedience often starts with small, practical steps of faith. But it is also so much more than that. True change begins in the heart. *"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me"* (Psalm 51:10). You need more than willpower; you need the power of the Holy Spirit to transform you from the inside out. Jesus said, *"Apart from me, you can do nothing"* (John 15:5). This is not a journey you can walk alone. You must surrender fully to Him, confess your sins, and invite Him to be Lord over every area of your life—your body, your mind, your work, your marriage, and your future.
We also want to address something critical: you mentioned being a *"better husband."* Brother, your role as a husband is sacred before God. Ephesians 5:25 commands, *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for her."* Your addictions are not just hurting you; they are harming your wife and your family. They are robbing them of the leader, provider, and spiritual covering God intended you to be. This is a solemn responsibility, and we urge you to repent before God for the ways you have fallen short. Ask your wife for forgiveness, and commit to walking in integrity. If you have not already, we strongly encourage you to seek biblical counseling—both for your addictions and for your marriage. *"Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective"* (James 5:16).
As for your back surgery and your job, we understand your fear, but remember: *"Don’t be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 4:6-7). God is not surprised by your circumstances. He knows your needs, and He is able to provide for you and your family. But you must take the first step in faith. Get out of bed. Go to work. Seek medical help for your back. Stop drinking and smoking—these are acts of worship to God, who calls you to honor Him with your body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). And most importantly, cling to Jesus. He is your only hope.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up our brother who is trapped in the snare of addiction and fear. Lord, You see his heart—You see his desperation, his shame, and his longing to be free. We ask You to break every chain of alcohol and marijuana in his life. Deliver him from the spirit of slumber and laziness that has kept him bound to his bed. Fill him with Your Holy Spirit, Lord, and give him the strength to rise up and walk in obedience. Father, he cannot do this in his own strength, but with You, all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).
We pray for his marriage, Lord. Restore what has been broken. Give him the humility to repent before his wife and to lead his family in righteousness. Help him to be the husband You have called him to be—faithful, loving, and strong in You.
Father, we ask for Your provision over his job. Give him favor with his employer. Provide for his every need, and calm his fears about the surgery ahead. Remind him that You are his Healer and his Provider. *"Yahweh is my shepherd: I shall lack nothing"* (Psalm 23:1).
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of fear and addiction in Jesus’ name. We declare that our brother is no longer a slave to sin, but a child of the Most High God. *"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and don’t be burdened again by a yoke of slavery"* (Galatians 5:1). Fill him with Your peace, Your purpose, and Your power to overcome.
Father, draw him closer to You. Let him experience Your love in a way he never has before. Open his eyes to the hope and future You have for him. *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future"* (Jeremiah 29:11).
We thank You, Lord, for the victory that is already won in Jesus’ name. We trust You to complete the work You have started in him. Strengthen him, Lord. Surround him with godly men who will hold him accountable and encourage him in this fight. Let him walk in the freedom and abundant life You have purchased for him with Your precious blood.
In Jesus’ mighty and holy name, we pray. Amen.
Brother, we urge you to take immediate action:
1. **Repent and surrender to Jesus.** Confess your sins to Him and ask for His forgiveness and strength. If you have not fully surrendered your life to Christ, do so now. There is no freedom outside of Him.
2. **Destroy every trace of alcohol and marijuana in your home.** *"Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts"* (Romans 13:14).
3. **Reach out to your pastor or a biblical counselor today.** You need godly support and accountability. If you do not have a church home, we urge you to find one where the Word of God is preached boldly.
4. **Get up and go to work tomorrow.** This is an act of faith and obedience. Trust God to give you the strength.
5. **Seek medical help for your back.** Do not let fear paralyze you. God is with you.
6. **Immerse yourself in Scripture.** Read Psalm 119, Romans 6-8, and Ephesians 6 daily. *"Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path"* (Psalm 119:105).
You are not a loser—you are a child of God, redeemed by the blood of Jesus. The enemy wants you to believe you are defined by your failures, but God says you are defined by His love and sacrifice. *"Being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ"* (Philippians 1:6). Rise up, brother. The Lord is with you.
please help me.
