We come before the Lord with heavy hearts, lifting you up in prayer, for the weight of your confessions reveals deep spiritual turmoil, confusion, and the need for repentance, deliverance, and the renewing of your mind in Christ Jesus. There is much to address here, so let us first turn to the Word of God to ground our response in His truth, for it is only through His Word and the power of the name of Jesus that we find freedom, healing, and clarity.
You have confessed to asking Jesus to kill your mother and grandmother—this is a grave sin, and we must address it with urgency. The fifth commandment clearly states, *"Honor your father and your mother," that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you* (Exodus 20:12). To harbor such thoughts or words is not only disobedient but opens the door to the enemy’s influence in your life. The apostle John warns us, *"Whoever hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life remaining in him"* (1 John 3:15). We do not believe you have acted on these thoughts, but even entertaining them is dangerous. You must repent of this immediately and ask God to cleanse your heart. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). Jesus does not call us to harm others but to love them, even our enemies (Matthew 5:44). Let us pray for your heart to be transformed by His love and for any generational curses or bitterness to be broken in Jesus’ name.
You have also mentioned curses, demonic influences, and what you describe as "doppelgänger nonsense." We must be clear: as believers, we are not to fixate on demonic activity or give it power through fear or obsession. The Bible tells us, *"You are of God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is he who is in you than he who is in the world"* (1 John 4:4). If you are in Christ, you have authority over the enemy, but that authority is exercised through faith, prayer, and the Word—not through fear or superstition. *"Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you"* (James 4:7). We encourage you to renounce any fear, occult fascination, or ungodly focus on these experiences. Instead, fill your mind with Scripture, worship, and the truth of who you are in Christ. *"Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think about these things"* (Philippians 4:8).
Your confession includes struggles with unforgiveness, resentment toward your brother Joshua, and even thoughts that your father is an "idiot." These are not from the Lord. Unforgiveness is a snare that gives the enemy a foothold in your life (Ephesians 4:26-27). Jesus taught us to forgive *"seventy times seven"* (Matthew 18:22), and He warned that if we do not forgive others, our Father in heaven will not forgive us (Matthew 6:15). We urge you to release these grudges, ask God to soften your heart, and pray for your family members. Your father’s past struggles with drugs do not define him, and they certainly do not give you license to despise him. Pray for his salvation, healing, and deliverance if he is not walking with the Lord. *"Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king"* (1 Peter 2:17).
You have mentioned sexual immorality in the workplace, specifically the "blue bucket" incident and the tension with coworkers. We must address this firmly: any form of lust, inappropriate relationships, or sexual sin is an abomination to the Lord. *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). If there is any sexual tension, flirtation, or inappropriate behavior at your workplace, you must flee from it. Do not entertain it, do not engage in it, and do not allow your mind to dwell on it. Pray for purity, set boundaries, and if necessary, seek a new job where you are not tempted in this way. The Lord will provide.
Your struggles with vaping, drug exposure, and relapse are also serious. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and to defile it with substances is to grieve Him. *"Don’t you know that you are a temple of God, and that God’s Spirit lives in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him; for God’s temple is holy, which you are"* (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). We urge you to repent of this and seek accountability, whether through a trusted believer, a pastor, or a biblical recovery program. You cannot overcome addiction in your own strength, but *"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me"* (Philippians 4:13).
The mention of "mental illness" and PTSD is not to be taken lightly. While we do not dismiss the reality of mental health struggles, we must also recognize that some of what you describe could be spiritual oppression or even demonic influence due to unrepented sin, unforgiveness, or occult openings. However, the Lord is your healer. *"He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds"* (Psalm 147:3). We encourage you to seek godly counsel, whether from a pastor or a Christian counselor who can help you navigate these challenges biblically. Do not lean on the world’s solutions alone—bring everything before the Lord in prayer. *"Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7).
You have also mentioned strange occurrences like the "unknown sound" causing memory lapses, the "screwdriver incident," and the "spirit of God being in the vessel of [a person]." We must be cautious here. The Holy Spirit indwells believers (1 Corinthians 6:19), and He does not "possess" people in the way you describe. What you may be experiencing could be demonic deception, mental distress, or even the consequences of unrepented sin. We strongly encourage you to renounce any involvement with the occult, false religions, or New Age practices, even if it seems innocent. *"There shall not be found with you anyone who makes his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices sorcery, or an enchanter, or a sorcerer, or a charmer, or a consulter with a familiar spirit, or a wizard, or a necromancer. For whoever does these things is an abomination to Yahweh. Because of these abominations, Yahweh your God drives them out from before you"* (Deuteronomy 18:10-12). If you have ever dabbled in such things, repent now and ask the Lord to cleanse you.
Your mention of the "church’s vanity of baby Jesus in a manger" causing your father to use go-carts near glass is confusing and seems to reflect a distorted understanding of spiritual cause and effect. The manger scene is a representation of the incarnation of Christ, not an idol. However, if you are struggling with idolatry or superstition, we urge you to focus on the truth of Scripture alone. *"Little children, keep yourselves from idols"* (1 John 5:21).
Finally, you have asked for prayer regarding material things like your closet doors and headphones. While the Lord cares about every detail of our lives, we must prioritize the eternal over the temporal. *"But seek first God’s Kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well"* (Matthew 6:33). Trust that if these things are truly needs, the Lord will provide. But do not let material concerns distract you from the greater work He wants to do in your heart and spirit.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this Your child who is clearly in the midst of a fierce spiritual battle. Lord, we ask that You would break every chain of sin, confusion, and demonic influence in their life. Father, they have confessed grave sins—asking for harm to come to their mother and grandmother, harboring unforgiveness, entertaining lust, and struggling with addiction. We ask that You would grant them a spirit of repentance, that they would turn from these sins and receive Your forgiveness and cleansing. Wash them white as snow by the blood of Jesus (Isaiah 1:18).
Lord, we rebuke every spirit of fear, confusion, and torment that has taken hold of their mind. We declare that *"God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control"* (2 Timothy 1:7). Break every generational curse, every soul tie, and every ungodly influence that has been at work in their life. We pray for deliverance from any demonic oppression or deception, and we ask that You would fill them with Your Holy Spirit, that they may walk in the light as He is in the light (1 John 1:7).
Father, we pray for their family—their mother, grandmother, father, and brother Joshua. Soften their hearts toward one another and grant them the grace to forgive and love as You have loved us. Heal their relationships, Lord, and bring reconciliation where there has been strife.
We pray for their workplace, that You would remove any temptation, sexual immorality, or ungodly influence. Give them the strength to flee from sin and to walk in integrity. Provide for their needs, Lord, whether it be through a new job or a purified environment in their current one.
We lift up their struggles with addiction and mental distress. Lord, You are the Great Physician. Heal their mind, body, and spirit. Deliver them from the snare of vaping, drugs, and any other stronghold. Restore their memory where it has failed, and grant them peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
Father, we ask that You would surround them with godly community—believers who can pray with them, encourage them, and hold them accountable. Lead them to a Bible-believing church where they can grow in their faith and be discipled.
We pray for their material needs—the closet doors, the headphones—but more than these, we pray that their heart would be set on things above, not on earthly things (Colossians 3:2). Provide for them, Lord, and teach them to trust in You alone.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would give them a fresh revelation of Your love. Let them know that they are Your child, redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and that nothing can separate them from Your love (Romans 8:38-39). Fill them with Your Holy Spirit, that they may walk in victory, discernment, and joy.
We declare all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who has conquered sin, death, and the grave. Let Your will be done in their life, for Your glory alone. Amen.
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We strongly encourage you to seek out a mature believer or pastor to walk with you through these struggles. You are not meant to carry this burden alone. The body of Christ is here to support, pray for, and guide you. If you do not have a local church, we urge you to find one where the Word of God is preached without compromise. Surround yourself with Scripture, worship, and prayer. The enemy wants to isolate you, but the Lord wants to set you free.
If you have not already, we urge you to surrender your life fully to Jesus Christ. There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you have never confessed Him as Lord, do so now: *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart, one believes resulting in righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made resulting in salvation"* (Romans 10:9-10). If you have strayed from the Lord, return to Him today. He is faithful and just to forgive.
May the Lord bless you, keep you, and shine His face upon you as you seek Him with all your heart. Walk in His peace, and do not be afraid, for He is with you always (Matthew 28:20).
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
