I've come to the conclusion that I have an addictive

[Hopeful23]

I've come to the conclusion that I have an addictive personality based on how I grew up. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs but addictions can take many forms. I need to get a handle on this and the depression that I struggle with.

My narc mom sent me a note in the mail stating I was taken off the will and estate planning. Looks like I was disinherited but she denies it when I called her. Too long to explain but stating 2 children and 5 grandchildren and then divided 6 ways would point in that direction as in 1 is missing, namely me. I'm the scapegoat in my family so really what do I expect?

Also, since I'm the scapegoat I'm not scared to speak the truth and confronted her on this but like I said she denied it. I think she is lying. This would be the perfect revenge for her to have me stewing over this until she dies which is who knows when. I will just assume I have been disinherited to be safe. I won't let her control me with money or an inheritance or lack thereof. Funny thing is I never asked her for money like my sister has and yet she always accuses me of wanting her money.

She also accused me of something which is false and I asked her where she got it from. She claims someone told her but that is impossible because there is no way for her to get the information except for one source and what she accused me of is false. She's always blamed me for everything and accused me of things that are not true so nothing new there. I basically told her off and asked her if she wants to get sued for defamation. She never admits fault and never says sorry. I don't even consider her my mother since she never was one on an emotional level.

I think this is a big part of me struggling with depression my whole life and tending to have an addictive personality. Even though I'm a Christian there still seems to be a void there that I am trying to fill.

I believe this also ties in with this so called online friend I had who I guess really wasn't one. I trusted this person and confided in him only to be treated like pond scum and rejected. I really feel betrayed by this person and somehow feel this person has very similar traits to my own mother. Strange but true. I think he is a catalyst for me to realize that I have not yet fully recovered from my past. Trouble is I am also having a hard time forgetting about this person even though he is probably a false person and not good for me. The most ironic thing is that his name is Christian and he claims to be a Christian but in reality, it points more so in the direction of a self-absorbed person who has no real empathy but who portrays an image of a nice guy.

I'm really sick of all this and want to finally overcome all these things and be at least marginally happy for a change. I don't even remember the last time I was really happy. After the poor treatment and rejection from the so called friend, I feel that something deep inside me died and I'm just not the same.

I'd really like to get over all this and move forward and make my life better.

 

[King David Samuel Beasley]

 God be with you. 

May Gods holy, and righteous will be done here for the sake of all whom are mentioned. In Jesus name. Amen

- The Victorious Prayer -

The power of this prayer will compel anyone who reads it, to realize and acknowledge the greater part of their true identity as themselves known as the living soul. Let this prayer penetrate deep into your conscious understanding, and a true change will take place within your subconscious. Slowly Digest these prayerful affirmations as you mentally picture yourself become it's meanings.....

(A Decree Of Who I Am)

I will be with God and God will be with me for all eternity. I decree that (I Am) a child of God, created in the likeness and image of my father. (I am) a cell in the greater body, an extension of absolute perfection.

(My Soul Deep Rooted Within Me)

I acknowledge the fact that my soul is at the core of my being. You will always find God there. It is my true higher self. My protector and Guardian Angel, guiding my every step from harm to safety. My soul is deep rooted within me, like that of an old wise tree planted by the rivers of water, absorbing every moment of my life and remembering within the core of it's roots every truth, and realization that are to be known.

(The Soul's Quest Through Reincarnation)

With my present life now, the lives I had lived through in the past, and all the lives I will live on into the future combined together, my soul shall evolve into a never-extinguishing fire that burns For God's purpose only. The body will go back to the dust of the earth, but the soul lives on forever. In my souls long journey back to God, I will have experienced every emotion, every fear, every love, every heartbreak, every success, every failure, and every circumstance humanly possible to elevate to next higher supersubconscious levels and vibrations of heaven.

(Soul Reunification Back To Source)

One Victorious day in the future when my soul has made full circle back to the omnipresent creator of all life, I will have achieved perfect understanding of all truths of everything that - is, was, and will become. All the mysteries that were in the dark corners of my subconscious thoughts shall be made known clearly unto me. "That which is in the dark shall come to the light" No more hidden plots, no more hidden agendas.

(Together again)

In the Final Stage of Souls evolution back to God, Humankind shall see each others truths and love one another unconditionally. We will finally be reunited together as one whole unit - "One God, One Family, one creation, one law, and one plan". Lucifer's reign over the world shall end, and men's control over our freedoms, shall be no more. On this triumphant day, my soul will cry out with the Victory!!

(Using The Divine Will Properly)

(I am) destined to meet the beginning of all life and conscious presence again, The God head himself! As one unit and one mind shall we create thoughts together and paint the heavens and earth with pure love and tranquility. He promised that he would give me the desires of my own heart if I put him first in all things. With my birth right of free will and choice, I choose to align my will with God's perfect will to insure a harmonious outcome and to affirm that the law of love works.

(Soul Immortality and Deaths Purpose)

Harmonious perfection and eternal life shall prevail. For we are immortal souls with infinite destinations. With this thought in mind, I understand that physical death is merely a fundamental part and process of life, necessary for reviewing and reflecting my Soul's accomplishments on earth. "I Shall Not Fear Death" For the same God that takes watch over my soul in this physical world, will be with me in the heavenly one as well. I affirm that "God Shall Never Leave Me Nor Forsake Me!

(Keys To Forgiveness And Forgiving)

With a contrite heart, and with deep sincerity from the depths of my soul, I am truthful to myself for all my transgressions and ask God's Forgiveness whole heartedly for my sinful desires and wrongful deeds. I pray forgiveness to all those that I have ever offended or harmed intentionally and unintentionally by my words or actions. I will make right my wrongs by correcting all my shortcomings and failures and will not leave any room for regrets about my past this very moment while I have breath to pray.

(Don't Wait Till It Is Too Late)

I Ask God's forgiveness of all things right now while I am still able to do so. I will not let the book of judgment revealing the story of my life be a shameful and sorrowful review before myself and my creator. I shall close the book with rejoicing because I was aware of my sinful nature and took action to cleanse my soul before death laid upon my body. I only want to hear the words, "Good and Faithfull Servant, Thy Work Is Well Done!"

(Atonement)

I will sincerely forgive all things done to me by others and from my own self inflictions, I will forgive myself and turn away from continuing the wrongful action and never revisit the problem again.

(Speaking it into the Universe)

I now project these life changing, uplifting affirmations of truth to be spoken out into the atmosphere and into the higher etheric levels of heaven for God to hear the sincerity of my souls heart desires. "Ask and it shall be given you."

(Unstoppable Love)

I decree and re-affirm that I will let nothing separate my souls destiny and pathway back to my maker. Fear not! For God's unconditional love for me is stronger than any opposing enemy or force in creation. He is my shield and buckler. No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper. I decree that I will always be with God and God will always be with me unto the ends of the earth. forever and ever! Amen.

God Inspired and written by:

King David Samuel Beasley On 12/15/16

 

[Ars]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[U.Madhu pavani]

I prayed for this. In Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[hostadmin]

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