Eccles31
Disciple of Prayer
My dearest Lord and Jesus,
I want to leave my prayer here and I hope I can find solace through Jesus. My mind has been chaotic. It feels like I've lost the compass of my life.
My dear Lord and Jesus Christ, I've been feeling mentally exhausted and frustrated. I know that You know all my pains. First of all, I've been looking for a job since August but no offer at all until now. There was a company almost gave me a job, but they ended up saying they couldn't find a suitable position for me. It's so hilarious and ironic. I have wasted so much time with them.
Second, I underwent a traumatic event this year and I know I'm suffering from PTSD now. I recall what happened on that day every day and sometimes I cry in my room alone, and sometimes I scream. I once wanted to kill myself and I was sent to the hospital, but I know I shouldn't do so. However, what if I died and it would be on news everywhere, would the person who made me lose my job regret of what he/she had done to me in her whole life? As the Proverbs 11:17 says, "A merciful person does himself good, but the cruel person does himself harm." I sometimes wonder if God has punished him/her, will I be happy about the result she would have?
A best friend just name-calling me yesterday and told me I have been a terrible person at the workplace. She brought up the issues I had before, and I hate everyone bringing up any issues in the past. I became very emotional because I have had enough this year. Anyway, my Lord and Jesus, I can't pray for myself at all. I just feel extremely tired with everything.
I want to leave my prayer here and I hope I can find solace through Jesus. My mind has been chaotic. It feels like I've lost the compass of my life.
My dear Lord and Jesus Christ, I've been feeling mentally exhausted and frustrated. I know that You know all my pains. First of all, I've been looking for a job since August but no offer at all until now. There was a company almost gave me a job, but they ended up saying they couldn't find a suitable position for me. It's so hilarious and ironic. I have wasted so much time with them.
Second, I underwent a traumatic event this year and I know I'm suffering from PTSD now. I recall what happened on that day every day and sometimes I cry in my room alone, and sometimes I scream. I once wanted to kill myself and I was sent to the hospital, but I know I shouldn't do so. However, what if I died and it would be on news everywhere, would the person who made me lose my job regret of what he/she had done to me in her whole life? As the Proverbs 11:17 says, "A merciful person does himself good, but the cruel person does himself harm." I sometimes wonder if God has punished him/her, will I be happy about the result she would have?
A best friend just name-calling me yesterday and told me I have been a terrible person at the workplace. She brought up the issues I had before, and I hate everyone bringing up any issues in the past. I became very emotional because I have had enough this year. Anyway, my Lord and Jesus, I can't pray for myself at all. I just feel extremely tired with everything.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.