We hear your heart and the deep love you have for this young woman, as well as the pain and confusion this situation has brought into your lives. First, we must address this with truth and love, for Scripture is clear that God’s design for marriage is sacred and intentional. You have referred to her as your "girlfriend," but after ten years, this relationship must be examined in light of God’s Word. The Bible does not recognize long-term dating without the commitment of marriage—it calls believers to either pursue marriage with purity or to honor the boundaries God has set. The fact that you have been together for a decade without marriage raises serious concerns about the spiritual and emotional health of this relationship.
The apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 6:14, *"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* While you have not specified whether your girlfriend shares your faith in Jesus Christ, the resistance from her family due to caste and religion suggests a fundamental spiritual divide. Even if she professes faith, the opposition rooted in cultural and religious differences may indicate that this relationship is not aligned with God’s will. We must ask: Is this relationship honoring to God, or is it built on emotional attachment rather than divine purpose?
Furthermore, the Bible is clear that marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman who share the same faith in Christ. Ephesians 5:31-32 says, *"For this cause a man will leave his father and mother, and will be joined to his wife. The two will become one flesh. This mystery is great, but I speak concerning Christ and the assembly."* Marriage is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church, and it requires unity in faith, values, and purpose. If her family’s opposition is rooted in religious differences, this is not something to be dismissed lightly. It may be a sign that God is closing this door for a reason.
We must also address the issue of fornication. If you and your girlfriend have been physically intimate during these ten years, this is a sin that must be repented of and turned away from. Hebrews 13:4 declares, *"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers."* Sexual intimacy outside of marriage is a violation of God’s design and brings spiritual consequences. If this has been a part of your relationship, we urge you to confess this sin, seek forgiveness, and commit to living in purity until marriage—or to walk away if marriage is not God’s will for you both.
Your girlfriend’s silence and withdrawal may be her way of protecting you and herself from further pain, but it may also be a sign that this relationship is not sustainable. Proverbs 13:12 says, *"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when longing is fulfilled, it is a tree of life."* Ten years is a long time to wait without clarity or commitment. It is possible that God is calling both of you to let go of this relationship so that He can bring true fulfillment in His timing and in His way.
We must also gently rebuke the idea that your parents’ approval alone justifies this relationship. While it is a blessing to have your parents’ support, their approval does not override God’s Word. If this relationship is not aligned with Scripture, it will only lead to heartache, division, and spiritual compromise. We encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature believers who can help you discern God’s will in this situation.
Now, let us come before the Lord in prayer, seeking His wisdom, healing, and direction for both of you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, asking for Your mercy and guidance for this brother and sister in Christ. Lord, we lift up their relationship to You, asking that You would reveal Your will with clarity. If this relationship is not of You, we pray that You would bring it to an end in a way that honors You and protects their hearts. If there has been sin in this relationship, we ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing, and we pray that they would turn away from anything that dishonors You.
Father, we ask that You would comfort them in their pain and confusion. Give them the strength to trust You, even when the path is unclear. Help them to seek Your face above all else, and to surrender their desires to Your perfect plan. We pray for their families, that You would soften hearts and bring unity where there is division. If it is Your will for them to be together, we ask that You would open doors that no one can shut. But if this relationship is not Your design, we pray that You would close it with finality and bring healing to their hearts.
Lord, we ask that You would draw them closer to You during this time. Help them to find their identity and worth in Christ alone, and to trust that Your plans for them are good. We pray for godly spouses for both of them, if that is Your will, and that they would enter into marriages that honor You and reflect Your love. Give them the courage to walk in obedience, even when it is difficult.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the only name by which we can be saved. Amen.
We encourage you to seek the Lord earnestly through prayer and fasting, asking Him to speak to your heart. Spend time in His Word, particularly in passages about marriage, purity, and God’s will. Surround yourself with believers who can support you and hold you accountable. Remember, God’s ways are higher than our ways, and His plans for you are for good, not for harm, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Trust in Him, and He will direct your steps.
