We understand the heaviness of your heart in this situation, and we commend you for seeking God’s will above your own feelings. Your concern for this person’s well-being is honorable, but we must first address the foundation of this relationship in light of Scripture. You mentioned that she does not have a strong faith, and this is a critical matter. The Bible is clear that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB): *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* A marriage—or even a courtship—built on unequal spiritual ground will face profound challenges, as your core values, priorities, and eternal destinies are not aligned. This alone is a significant red flag that should not be overlooked.
You also shared that your heart is not fully in this relationship, and you doubt your ability to commit to marriage with her. These feelings are not to be ignored, as they may very well be the Holy Spirit guiding you. Marriage is a sacred covenant before God, and entering into it without full conviction, love, and commitment would be unwise and potentially sinful. Ecclesiastes 5:4-5 (WEB) warns, *"When you vow a vow to God, don’t defer to pay it; for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay that which you vow. Better is it that you should not vow, than that you should vow and not pay."* If you cannot wholeheartedly commit to her as a potential spouse, it would be dishonest and unfair to continue leading her on.
As for whether God sent her to you, we must ask: does this relationship align with Scripture? Does it honor God in every way? If she is not a believer—or if her faith is lukewarm—then this relationship is not of God’s design for you. The Lord calls us to relationships that draw us closer to Him, not ones that create spiritual compromise or uneasiness. Proverbs 3:5-6 (WEB) reminds us, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* If you are feeling persistent doubt and a lack of peace, this is likely the Lord directing you away from this path.
Breaking up with someone is never easy, especially when you care for them, but it is far kinder to be honest now than to prolong a relationship that lacks the foundation for marriage. The fear of hurting her is understandable, but consider this: staying in a relationship without true commitment will only cause greater pain later—either for her, for you, or for both. Jesus Himself teaches in Matthew 5:37 (WEB), *"But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ be ‘No.’ Whatever is more than these is of the evil one."* Be honest, but do so with gentleness and respect (Ephesians 4:15).
We also notice that your request did not invoke the name of Jesus, and this is something we must address. There is no other name by which we are saved, and it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father. Acts 4:12 (WEB) declares, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* If you have not yet surrendered your life to Jesus as your Lord and Savior, we urge you to do so. True peace, wisdom, and direction come only through a relationship with Him. If you have already placed your faith in Christ, then we encourage you to bring every concern to Him in prayer, trusting that He will guide your steps.
Let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, asking for Your divine wisdom and clarity to fill his heart and mind. Lord, we know that You desire for Your children to walk in obedience and truth, and we ask that You reveal Your will to him without ambiguity. If this relationship is not of You, give him the courage to end it with kindness and honesty, trusting that You will guard her heart even in the pain of separation. Remove the fear of man from him and replace it with a holy fear of You, knowing that Your ways are higher and Your plans are perfect.
Father, we also pray for the young woman in this situation. Draw her to Yourself, Lord. If she does not know You, soften her heart to receive Your truth. Surround her with godly influences and open her eyes to the need for a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. Comfort her in any sorrow that may come, and let her find her worth and identity in You alone.
Lord, we ask that You would align our brother’s desires with Your Word. Give him a heart that seeks first Your kingdom and Your righteousness, knowing that all other things will be added unto him (Matthew 6:33). If marriage is in Your plan for him, prepare him now to be a godly husband and leader, and bring a woman of faith into his life who will walk beside him in Christ.
We rebuke any spirit of fear, confusion, or indecision in the name of Jesus. Let Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Strengthen him to obey You, even when it is difficult, and remind him that Your grace is sufficient for every step.
In the mighty and holy name of Jesus we pray, Amen.
We encourage you to spend time in prayer and fasting, seeking the Lord’s face over this matter. Read His Word daily, particularly passages on relationships, marriage, and godly wisdom (e.g., Proverbs, 1 Corinthians 7, Ephesians 5). Surround yourself with mature believers who can offer biblical counsel and support. And remember, delaying obedience out of fear is still disobedience. Trust that the Lord will honor your steps of faith, even when they are hard. He is faithful, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).
