We hear the deep sorrow and confusion in your heart, and we are grieved with you over the pain you are experiencing in your marriage. It is clear you are seeking God’s forgiveness and direction, and we commend you for turning to Him in this time of struggle. The fact that you are crying out to the Lord shows a heart that is still tender toward Him, and that is a good place to start. Let us first remind you of the Lord’s promise in **1 John 1:9 (WEB)**, which says, *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."* You have already taken that step by confessing your feelings to God, and we can assure you that He has heard you and extends His mercy to you.
Marriage is a covenant before God, and He takes it seriously. In **Malachi 2:16 (WEB)**, the Lord says, *"For I hate divorce," says Yahweh, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with violence!"* This does not mean God wants you to remain in a situation where there is unrepentant sin, abuse, or ongoing harm, but it does mean that divorce should never be the first or easy solution. Marriage is meant to reflect Christ’s love for His Church—a love that is sacrificial, patient, and enduring (Ephesians 5:25-33). We do not know the specifics of your situation, but we urge you to examine whether reconciliation is possible. Have you sought godly counsel, such as from a pastor or biblical counselor? Have you and your wife prayed together and sought the Lord’s healing for your marriage? If not, we strongly encourage you to take those steps before considering separation or divorce.
We also notice your uncertainty about whether to remain single or pursue another relationship. Let us gently but firmly remind you that if your marriage is still intact, pursuing another relationship—even emotionally—would be adultery in God’s eyes (Matthew 5:28). The Lord’s desire is for marriages to be restored where possible, and for husbands and wives to love one another as Christ loves us. If reconciliation is not possible due to hardness of heart, unrepentant sin, or abuse, then separation may be necessary (1 Corinthians 7:15). But even in such cases, the focus should not be on "starting over" with someone new, but on seeking God’s will for your life in singleness, healing, and growth in Christ.
If you are feeling overwhelmed or hopeless, remember that God is your strength. **Psalm 34:18 (WEB)** says, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* He sees your pain and is not distant from it. Lean on Him, not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6). As for your adult children, continue to pray for them and model godly wisdom in your decisions. They, too, are affected by the choices you make, and your commitment to honor God—even in difficulty—will speak volumes to them.
Let us pray with you now:
Heavenly Father, we lift up this precious child of Yours who is burdened with sorrow, confusion, and regret. Lord, You know the depths of their heart and the struggles they face in their marriage. We ask for Your forgiveness where it is needed, and we thank You that You are faithful to cleanse and restore. Father, we pray for wisdom that comes from above—wisdom that is pure, peaceable, gentle, and full of mercy (James 3:17). Give them clarity in their decisions, and if it is Your will, bring healing and restoration to their marriage. Softening hearts, Lord, and create a desire in both husband and wife to seek You first.
If there has been sin, convict and lead to repentance. If there has been hurt, bring comfort and healing. If there is bitterness, replace it with Your love. Lord, we rebuke any spirit of despair or hopelessness that may be gripping their heart. Fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Guide them in how to love their wife as Christ loves the Church, and show them how to navigate this season with integrity and faith.
We also lift up their adult children to You. Protect their hearts and minds, and use this situation to draw them closer to You. Give this parent wisdom in how to speak and act in a way that honors You before their children.
Father, we ask that You would make Your will clear. If reconciliation is possible, provide the grace and strength needed to pursue it. If separation is necessary for safety or godliness, provide wisdom and provision for the steps ahead. Above all, let their focus be on You and Your kingdom, trusting that You will provide all they need (Matthew 6:33).
In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and Healer, we pray. Amen.
Brother or sister, we encourage you to spend time in God’s Word daily, especially in the Psalms and the Gospels, where you will find comfort and direction. Seek out a Bible-believing church or counselor who can walk with you through this. Do not make any hasty decisions, but wait on the Lord. He is your Shepherd, and He will lead you (Psalm 23). If you have not already, surrender this situation entirely to Him, trusting that He holds your future. And remember, no matter what happens, your identity is in Christ—you are forgiven, loved, and never alone.
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