We hear your pain, frustration, and deep longing for change, and we come before the Lord with heavy hearts on your behalf. The anger, exhaustion, and sense of violation you express are real, and we do not dismiss them. However, we must first address some critical matters with love, truth, and urgency—because your words reveal not only hurt but also dangerous patterns that do not align with God’s Word.
You speak of decreeing, demanding, and commanding outcomes as if they are within your power, but Scripture is clear: **"There is none righteous, no, not one... for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"** (Romans 3:10, 23 WEB). Only God holds authority over creation, and only through Jesus Christ do we have access to Him. You mention binding Satan and his forces, but you do not invoke the name of Jesus in your declarations—yet it is **only** in His name that we have power over darkness. **"Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will in any way hurt you. Nevertheless, don’t rejoice in this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven"** (Luke 10:19-20 WEB). Without Christ, there is no true authority, no salvation, and no lasting victory.
You also speak of seeking a man for a "healthy sex life" outside of marriage. This is fornication, and the Bible warns against it repeatedly: **"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"** (1 Corinthians 6:18-20 WEB). God’s design for intimacy is within the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman—anything outside of that is sin and will only bring more pain, not freedom.
Your language about "tearing souls in half" and desiring to be a "great 6" (whatever that may mean) carries a spirit of vengeance and bitterness that is not of God. **"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord’"** (Romans 12:19 WEB). You cannot walk in both bitterness and blessing—one will destroy the other. We must also warn you that the enemy would love to twist your pain into a weapon against you, leading you into pride, occult-like declarations, or even deeper isolation. **"For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places"** (Ephesians 6:12 WEB). Your battle is spiritual, not against people, and it must be fought with the armor of God, not with your own strength or anger.
You mention past trauma, including what sounds like sexual assault, and we grieve with you. No one should ever endure such evil. But we must ask: Have you truly surrendered this pain to Jesus? Have you allowed Him to heal your wounds, or are you carrying them as fuel for your demands? **"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you will find rest for your souls"** (Matthew 11:28-29 WEB). Jesus is the only one who can bind up the brokenhearted and set the captive free—but you must come to Him in humility, not in defiance.
You also speak of cutting ties with your past, changing your name, and rejecting all who have hurt you. While boundaries are necessary, complete isolation is not God’s design. **"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up"** (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 WEB). The enemy wants you alone, but God calls you into community—even if it’s a small, trusted circle of believers. You cannot heal in isolation.
Now, let us pray for you with the love and truth of Christ:
**Heavenly Father, we come before You with a heart heavy for this dear one. Lord, You see her pain, her anger, her exhaustion, and her longing for something better. We ask that You would break the chains of bitterness, unforgiveness, and fear that bind her. Father, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell her she must take control, demand her way, or seek vengeance. In the mighty name of Jesus, we break every spirit of bitterness, pride, and sexual immorality that has taken root in her heart. We declare that she is not alone—You are with her, and You will never leave her nor forsake her (Hebrews 13:5 WEB).**
**Lord, we ask for Your healing touch over the wounds of her past—especially any trauma she has endured. Heal her mind, body, and spirit. Restore her sense of safety and worth, for she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14 WEB). Father, we pray that she would surrender her pain, her plans, and her future to You. Help her to release her grip on control and trust in Your perfect timing and provision. Show her that true freedom is found in You, not in her own strength or declarations.**
**We pray for godly relationships in her life—friends, mentors, and eventually a spouse who will love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25 WEB). But first, Lord, draw her into a deep, personal relationship with You. Let her know that You are her ultimate Husband, her Provider, her Protector, and her Healer. May she find her identity in You, not in her circumstances or her past. Father, we ask that You would soften her heart to receive Your love and truth. Remove the scales from her eyes so she can see the path You have for her—a path of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17 WEB).**
**We pray for her family as well, Lord. Heal any brokenness, restore what has been lost, and bring unity where there has been division. May they all come to know You as their Savior and Lord. Father, we ask that You would protect her from the schemes of the enemy. Surround her with Your angels and fill her with Your peace. Help her to walk in wisdom, discernment, and humility. May she seek You above all else, for You alone are her refuge and strength (Psalm 46:1 WEB).**
**Lord, we ask that You would reveal Yourself to her in a powerful way. Let her experience Your presence, Your love, and Your power in a tangible way. May she come to know Jesus not just as a name, but as her Lord and Savior—the One who died for her sins and rose again so that she might have eternal life (John 3:16 WEB). We pray that she would repent of any sin in her life and turn to You with her whole heart. Renew her mind with Your Word and fill her with Your Spirit. May she walk in the freedom and victory that is found only in Christ Jesus. In His precious and powerful name we pray, Amen.**
Now, dear one, we urge you to lay down your demands and pick up the cross of Christ. True freedom is not found in controlling your circumstances or seeking vengeance—it is found in surrendering to Jesus. **"If therefore the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed"** (John 8:36 WEB). We encourage you to seek out a Bible-believing church where you can find community, healing, and discipleship. You cannot walk this path alone. The enemy wants you isolated, but God wants you surrounded by His people.
We also urge you to seek godly counsel—perhaps a pastor, a Christian counselor, or a trusted mentor who can help you process your pain in a healthy way. The Bible says, **"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety"** (Proverbs 11:14 WEB). Do not let pride or fear keep you from receiving the help you need.
Finally, we want to leave you with this promise: **"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"** (Psalm 34:18 WEB). You are not forgotten. You are not abandoned. God sees you, He loves you, and He has a plan for your life—a plan for hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11 WEB). But you must surrender to Him. Lay down your pain, your anger, and your demands at the foot of the cross. Let Jesus be your Savior, your Healer, and your Lord. Only then will you find the true freedom and peace you long for.
