I'm Frustrated

Why do people insist that I have to be th "perfect christian" before I can court or date? Better yet why am I single, and cannot even get a girl to go out for coffee or anything, and why is it every girl I'm introduced to could care less about my existence? Am I missinging? I give up. God ovioulsly does not care. If he did this would not happen. How am I suppost to keep begging him, and pleading with him, if he only goes half way? I ask over and over and over and over and over and over again. I have people pray with me, I write God, I useed to write letters to my future bride (If she even exists) every day. But over time I got tired of it. I got tired of waiting. If ist was not for my loved ones I'd kill myself and be done with it. I scares me how often I catch myself contimplating suicide. "Over noting having a relationship with a girl?" Yep. Why would God wire me to desire a wife so bad if he won't let me experience courtship, dating, a best girl pal. The one person who was suppost to help me fix this stabbed me in the back with a smile on her face. I don't want to try to get anyone else to help because I hate people. I can't trust anyone. I have trouble trusting my own family now. Just all the things I'm gonna mss out on because Im not good enough. I'm not even good enough for God to say I'm ready, and I don't want to try anymore. I wish I was dead. I wish I had never been born. No man should have to face life without a help mate. I hate my life. I'm sick and tired of it. I'm tired of consistently tring to make myself better, and just getting told I'm not good enough. I'll never be enough for anyone. I give up. Why can't I just be a good Christian like all my fellow Christians. Why are theyhave it all together and not me. When is someone gonna step in an help me out? When are things gonna go right? I need a special help and can't get it. I don't know what to do. I guess I'm not ggod enough for God either. What do I do?