Anonymous
Beloved of All
I’m late 20s, female, single. I’ve been a church-going Christian since 5 years old. I’ve never been married, never dated, never loved. I find my identity in Christ. I do my best to do everything right.
My friends are all now married with babies. They don’t have names anymore. They call themselves “mummy†and “daddy†and are wrapped up with their family lives. I am lonely, angry, jealous, sad. One day I’ll look back and I will say “oh! That’s why! Thank you so much, God†But lately it hasn’t eased the here and now. I know that marriage and husbands don't fix life and solve problems. I’m not after someone to define “meâ€. I’m smart, funny, loving, loyal, happy with my job, have friends, Jesus completes me. But there’s a gaping hole inside that those things can’t fill up. And it’s really hitting me hard lately. For all of 2013 I’ve battled and fought these emotions. For 20 years I’ve been praying for marriage and a family of my own..And now I just feel invisible,un-lovely, un-loved and low on God’s to-do list.
My friends are all now married with babies. They don’t have names anymore. They call themselves “mummy†and “daddy†and are wrapped up with their family lives. I am lonely, angry, jealous, sad. One day I’ll look back and I will say “oh! That’s why! Thank you so much, God†But lately it hasn’t eased the here and now. I know that marriage and husbands don't fix life and solve problems. I’m not after someone to define “meâ€. I’m smart, funny, loving, loyal, happy with my job, have friends, Jesus completes me. But there’s a gaping hole inside that those things can’t fill up. And it’s really hitting me hard lately. For all of 2013 I’ve battled and fought these emotions. For 20 years I’ve been praying for marriage and a family of my own..And now I just feel invisible,un-lovely, un-loved and low on God’s to-do list.